IINDEPENDENCE DAY

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Well, today is the day! The one day a year we all come together and celebrate our Independence! Yes, that’s right it is the FOURTH OF JULY! Where no matter where you are in this country, no matter how illegal it is you are going to shoot off fireworks! The day no matter what race, religion, sexual preference we all come together to blow shit up!

However, I always think of the song “INDEPENDENCE DAY” BY MARTINA MCBRIDE!

It is a country song, yet the words, the words are powerful! It tells the story of a woman that was beaten and battered for years that finally won her Independence by setting the house on fire with her husband in it! She may have gone to jail for her actions yet she did it with a smile on her face and protected her daughter in the process. She won her freedom that day the only way she knew how! This song simultaneously makes me makes me cry and gives me a sense of peace!

This song came out in 1993! It came to me at a time in my life where I thought I would never find my Independence! I was 16 and with nowhere to go living under a tyrannical abusive parent that I was sure would kill me before I was 18 and able to leave home. This song gave me hope for a future I had yet to see! A future I hoped and prayed would come sooner rather than later! Independence means something far greater to me than The fourth of July!

At eighteen I left and never looked back! I even said I would never come back no one believed me! Everyone in the small town I am from thought, that I would come running back in a few weeks or months with my tail tucked between my legs a miserable failure!

I never did! Yes, I stumbled along the way and I have been through a lot of educational experiences! Yet, what I found was breathtaking… I found me. I found the strength to carry on and  celebrate my own Independence Day… every day!

Every day that I don’t compromise who and what I am for someone else’s gain, every day that I don’t give in to others despite my reservations, every day that I love and cherish my kids, every day that I don’t raise my hands in anger, every day that I don’t make someone else feel like nothing for my gain that is my Independence day!

I feel for those still struggling and I hope and pray they find their way to their own Independence day minus the fire of course! Yes, we are celebrating out countries Independence from the British today but if you have found your own personal Independence you know as well as I do that it is a daily celebration! To be able to be free to be who you are with no persecution and criticism! To  live life happy that is the dream and that is my Independence Day!

What’s yours?

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LEFTIES HAVE RIGHTS TOO!

I have a confession to make, I am a lefty! Now I am sure you all have heard the little saying that lefties are the only people in their right mind. While this gave me comfort when I was younger it didn’t stop the barrage of comments that were at times hurtful. I was a nobody in school, I had no friends, I had a bad home life and so it made me a little socially awkward, and being a left-handed person didn’t help matters either.

Nevermind that it had been scientifically proven that left-handers use the right, more creative side of their brain. More of a free thinker if you will. I was still considered the oddball. I was born in the 70’s raised through the 80’s and by the time the mid 90’s hit I was a young adult and graduating high school. Now, this may not seem like a time where people were made fun of for just using their left hand but it was. I was traumatized!

I remember once I was a junior in high school we had a sub in science class, one of my classmate’s father no less, and a preacher to boot. We had this man as our sub for several weeks and  I just happened to sit right in front of his desk. After several days he noticed I was writing with my left hand and actually asked me in all seriousness if I were in some sort of accident that made me this way or was I born this way. Up until then I had actually blown off most of what kids would tease me about but this, coming from an adult, and a preacher no less. It got to me. You see until this moment I just thought kids could be cruel in what they say. Just because you are a little different. However, with this grown man asking me this one single question. The seed of doubt was planted and I began to think maybe there was something wrong with me because I had the nerve to go against the grain so to speak and write with my left hand.

He was not the only teacher that asked me these kinds of ridiculous questions and they all did it in a way that made the entire class sit up and take notice of the left-handed freak. Not good,  when I had been trying to be invisible for the entirety of my school career. As I grew up I realized these people are morons. Even my own mother told me later that when I began learning to write she would swat my hand to try and correct such a deformity, and yet here I am today, left-handed warts and all. Apparently, back in her day, it was a sign that your child was not all there upstairs if they were left-handed. Whatever. I guess she just didn’t want anyone to know about her mentally challenged daughter. Yeah right, “I’m the one that is mentally challenged!”

I stopped caring what others thought of my left-handedness years ago until today that is. I got a taste of the past. You see I have noticed over the years there are a lot of things in this world tailored to right-handed people. Like Golfing, you have to get a special club just to be able to hit a damned ball just over the size of a prune, really. Then there is the bane of my existence the left-handed scissors. I have to have special scissors just to cut a piece of paper. I find it ironic that I was so horribly teased in my first years of school that I made myself learn to use the regular ones, with my right hand I might add. It is one of the very few things only my right hand can do that my left one can’t to this day. I have worked in call centers for most of the past fifteen years, and while there is the dredge of going into your little cubicle every day (just like in a movie). I happen to like it except for one little thing. Every call center I have worked at you use your right hand to work the mouse. While I have grown accustomed to this over time. I now have horrific bouts of arthritis running from the tips of my fingers to just above my elbow. Some days I can’t even lift an empty cup without excruciating pain.

So today I asked my manager if I could get a left-handed mouse for the computer. I know they are out there. She looked at me in horrified shock and asked,”You’re left-handed?” Then proceeded to tell me I would need to get a Doctor’s note in order to get a mouse for my left hand. Really? I don’t know what pissed me off the most the look of utter shock or the whole Dr’s note thing. I mean really we are in 2018. It is not as if I have a flesh-eating virus or something. Yet, this is how she chose to look at me. Wow! Some old feelings stirred for about half a second before I counted to 10 in my head and plastered on a smile I didn’t feel and said, “Okay I’ll look into it.” It just goes to show how much I have grown in the face of such clear stupidity.

I think it is funny that right after high school I saw a bumper sticker that actually read, “lefty’s have rights too”  I loved it and have never been able to find it since then, but it is emblazoned in my mind forever. I will one day have that very same sticker plastered on the back of my car and I will wear it proudly. Remeber without lefties their wouldn’t be such greats as Baseball legends like Lou Gehrig, Joe Jackson, Babe Ruth! Or such phenomenal artists,  as Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, or Pablo Picasso. Or such brilliant minds as Marie Curie, Aristotle, or Jimi Hendrix.  These names are synonymous with greatness in human history. These great minds, all used the right side of their brains and while being a lefty is not all that common what few of us there are tend to do brilliant things and become legends of history. I am proud to have something in common with such greatness.

So before you mock a lefty remember he or she may one day rule the world. Because we may be few in numbers but we are a fortress of strong minds.

 

THE PERFECT SNOWFLAKE

PERFECT SNOWFLAKE

I saw the most perfect snowflake today. I was waiting with my son for the school bus when it began to snow. It wasn’t much but just enough to say that it indeed had snowed.

There I was minding my own business trying to keep warm by the heat coming through the vents, dressed only in my pajamas when it landed right in front of my face. Attaching itself to my windshield.

For one brief second, time stood still as I gazed out the window at this perfect, fat, flake, of snow. It was as if everything was frozen in that second, Only, my breath puffing out in chilled tendrils of icy fog could be heard.

It was like I had gone deaf, save for the breathing, everything around me was in slow motion and nothing else existed in this moment except for that one perfect, snowflake.

All too soon the second was gone followed by sound, coming back to me in roaring waves as the bus finally appeared up over the hill and my son whispered a quick “love you” before he jumped out of the car and raced to get on it. In a daze, I turned my car around and headed back to the house. All the while contemplating this perfect snowflake.

He held on for the two short blocks back to to the house and by the time I pulled in to my driveway I was convinced he was following me. This snowflake with the perfect form, this snowflake that had me contemplating myself, my world, the universe in that one split second he fluttered onto the glass.

You see I had never really looked at snowflakes before, not a real one. I mean I watched as it landed on my tongue I could feel its iciness spread throughout my mouth. I have walked on snow as it soaked into my feet. I have seen pictures of ornaments and even did cutouts of them for Christmas but never, have I ever actually seen a single, perfect snowflake until today.

I always just thought it had something to do with Science, you know the mechanics of what snow is. Or that it was just another one of God’s little miracles, but to actually see it with my own eyes, took my breath away. I just thought it was little tiny specs of ice accumulated together, but this.This snowflake with all his perfect dimensions. The perfectly structured inner webbing, and the perfect points on the outside of each edge. A design so beautiful it almost brought tears to my eyes, because in that second I knew I was surrounded by the ultimate creator.

This moment was filled with so much peace. I was shaken to my core once I realized it was over. I almost wept over the loss. I carried this feeling with me for the rest of the day. A sort of calm against the storm. I even felt a slight sense of grief after he melted off my window. I just kept asking myself. How? Why? Did God make something so insignificant, so tiny, this beautiful? I was at a loss for words and even after I was home I stared at it sitting there on my windshield an uninvited guest among the dirt and other not so perfect snowflakes. That’s when it hit me.

I began to take notice of all the other flakes and noticed most of them had tiny imperfections but there were more and more that had a flawless design.  I was so enamored with this one perfect flake that I had neglected to notice the other more prominent snowflakes. Each one just as beautiful in their own way. No two flakes where alike, and I began comparing them to mankind and of how no two people are alike, we all have our own soul our own thoughts, our own uniqueness. Some of us may look perfect but we all have tiny imperfections that make up the thing that is us. We are all perfect snowflakes in our own way.

Short, fat, tall, thin. We are all what, God intended. Just as he did each flake of snow that touched our tounges when we were children, have you kissed a snowflake today?  So remember the next time you are down on yourself for not being pretty enough, or smart enough, or wise enough, or perfect enough.  You are a perfect snowflake.

 

 

 

CONVERSATION

The conversation turned from silly to serious once the demon entered the bar.  Heidi had been biding her time mindlessly flirting with the pseudo elf until her mark finally walked in. She was just about to give up and leave the boring man dressed all in green when suddenly the air ratcheted up a few degrees and in walked the biggest, hottest horned devil she had ever laid eyes on. His picture did not do him justice and judging by the way the women tripped over each other to get to him he obviously had a reputation.

He was so large he had to duck to enter the bar and even then his horns narrowly missed the frame. Heidi found herself damned near salivating at the way his long blond hair brushed against the rippling muscles that started at his neck and just kept going and going and going. She shook herself out of her reverie and downed the rest of the vodka in her glass for some liquid courage before dismissing the human playing dress up in front of her as she walked sensually over to the beautiful devil. It was time to get her game face on. She was a bounty hunter on a mission and she never missed her mark. This guy would be no exception but maybe she could get a little fun time in while she was taking him down in the process.

Gabe sniffed out the bounty hunter the instant his horns cleared the threshold into the bar. She had an odor that was unlike any of the riffraff in this place. While women fairy and human alike flocked to his side as they always did. He zeroed in on the knockout at the other end of the bar. Dressed all in black leather leaving very little to the imagination he wondered where in the hell she was hiding her blade. He scented the cold steel was on her he just couldn’t figure out where. The black leather breeches didn’t reveal her secrets even though they appeared to be painted on. With slits down the sides, he glimpsed her milky white flesh every few centimeters or so and for just a moment he longed to be those damned pants.

Her shirt was no better if that is what you can call it. It was more like a bra covering only her tits while her flat creamy flesh underneath it lay bare for the world to see. An emerald stud in the center of her belly button to match her eyes. Ah, those eyes. A demon like him could drown in those eyes. Thank God he was strong-willed. The fae wanna be next to her would not be so lucky. Speaking of, the guy stunk of human and Gabe felt like bashing the idiots head in for even thinking of touching her. A streak of something akin to jealousy leaked into his pores as he imagined yanking her away from this guys clutches by her long jet black hair and throwing her up against the wall to have his wicked way with her. In front of everyone here.

He shook himself as anger began to course through him. What the hell was that? He felt like a young buck not able to control his appetites. Instead of the 145 years, he actually was. He took a big sniff and then it hit him. The sweet ambrosia smell that could only come from his mate. He began to chuckle at the timing of the universe. He had been alone for all these years and now, the powers that be had finally sent the only person he could be with forever. In the form of a raven-haired temptress that was getting paid to turn him in.

She put the glass to her crimson lips and downed her drink in one gulp. Oh, the things he could do to that mouth. She tossed her hair dismissing the cockroach beside her and turned her attention over to him as she began sauntering over to him with a sheepish grin. A smile broke out onto his face as he watched her body move like a jungle cat stalking its prey. He was almost giddy at the idea of being her prey, but what she didn’t realize is that she was being stalked too. He couldn’t wait to hear her voice as she tried to seduce him into a false sense of security. He would play along, for now. Until it was time to claim his mate that is. A full on chuckle escaped his lips as she approached this was going to make for one interesting conversation. 

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/conversation/”>Conversation</a&gt;

 

GOD IS GOD

Here it is. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  He created the moon, the stars, the everything in between. He created every living creature that roamed the earth and dominated the seas. He created every living plant that he grew from just a seed.Before he rested he created man whom he gave dominion over all the creatures, plants, all living things upon the earth. The key words here being upon the earth! This is the basis of our existence. No matter what religion you are, no matter what Gods you pray to. In some form or another, this is how we, humanity, began.

Much later he gave us commandments which to abide by, rules, just like any parent would give their child so they don’t misbehave. Yet, just like our children, we feel the need to push the limits of those rules. Maybe it is in our nature, maybe we just don’t like rules. Unlike the punishment for our children, however, our punishment for breaking God’s rules could very well damn our souls.

I grew up an avid Pentecostal or ‘holy roller” if you will. I grew up thinking that the Bible was it. The end all be all of everything. That it is and was the only thing we should be turning to when it comes to God and religion. As I got older though the world changed for me. I knew even at a young age in my heart of hearts something was missing.

Was it God trying to keep me balanced and on the right track? Who knows. All I know is that after discovering that the Romans put together the books as the Bible we now know and that they removed several books to suit their own personal gain. I look at it differently now. I am not saying that the Bible isn’t true but how can I not question why they did this? Or the bigger question is what’s missing?

Since the dawn of time man has looked to the sky to answer the ultimate question. Where do we come from? While I believe there is yes, still a mystery there I know the answers lie among us. We just have to find them is all. Like finding the lost book of Enoch. There was such a hoopla about it and it is a very interesting read. It does fill in some of the blanks of the little mentioned of Enoch in the Bible.

This got me thinking. You know I was trained in Church that you can read a scripture in the Bible a hundred times and come up with a new meaning every single time. Why is that? I truly believe it is because a man took the actual books of the Bible and conformed it to how they wanted it to read. There is just enough confusion in it so that you never see the truth. That there are huge gaping gaps in the Bible. I am not being blasphemous here or want to be, but if that is what you are thinking right now it is because that is the way you were trained. By “religion”.

Religion is just a word, you know it only has meaning because you give it that power. I I found myself lost and confused at the tender age of 19 about this whole “religion” thing and so I prayed on it. The outcome was astounding and changed the way I view the word “religion” forever. From that moment on I was no longer a Pentecostal, Or Baptist, or any label. My relationship with God is a personal one. That is all anyone needs to know about it.

My friend and I have discussed the holes in the Bible many times and right now she is voraciously reading any scroll, any ancient text, any lost book of the Bible she can get her hands on. I, however, find it fascinating that I can, in fact, read the Bible with new eyes and see for myself the crumb of truth that lies between the pages. Once the rose-colored glasses come off, and you expand your mind to the possibility of Angels walking among us, that maybe Eve wasn’t Adam’s first wife, that there were giants roaming the earth, that Moses was actually a Pharoh at one point, you start to see a bigger picture. One that we haven’t even scratched the surface of yet, and that the clues are in the very Bible that we hold so dear to us. That is where the Romans made their mistake when putting the books together and editing it.

They left just enough information in there so that with an open mind, not the one they hypnotized us to have we see the truth. Or at least the part they shared with us in the Bible. I will say when beginning this journey much like my friend I felt guilty, or even blasphemous. Yet, every new discovery I make fits with the previous puzzle piece confirming each one like a chain of events I cannot stop unraveling. I question everything nowadays not because I am trying to be blasphemous but because I seek the truth. I know where I come from it states in Genesis where I come from. I seek the background the evolution of man that got me here today. I seek the knowledge of my ancestors. Am I the product of a long forgotten civilization or are my origins deeper, darker than that?

Just by reading Genesis with my new eyes there are more questions and that is just in chapter 1. There is so much more to discover, and with every new discovery, I am one step closer to my origins. I leave you with this Spirituality is a part of us. Your relationship with God should be a personal one. Don’t be afraid to question what you’ve been taught. Look for your own answers. They are there waiting for you to discover them. When you feel the ring of truth click into place inside our soul. You know you are on to something. Don’t be bogged down with such labels as “religion”. Remember the basics the rules God set before us. For in the end that is all that matters.

 

OWLISH HAUNTING

It all started with this OWL! I was driving back from somewhere toward my house one evening at the end of the summer when something large with a huge wingspan cut across the front of my car. It was something that moved so swiftly in the dark I couldn’t tell what it was. I stopped so suddenly as to not collide with the beast and almost soiling myself in the process.  I slowly turned my head and there, upon the telephone wire sat, a great big owl. I slowly got out of my car turning on my camera on the phone and with bated breath snapped this photo. He didn’t seem fazed by all the commotion and in fact looked at me as if I were nothing more than a blip on his night. I having, never seen an owl before in real life was left breathtaken and a little curious that he didn’t seem to be afraid of me. He seemed to see into me and a shiver actually went down my spine.

Being more than a little creeped out I slowly backed away and got back in my car and drove home. A part of me shaken to my very core not understanding why? It was just a bird, right? I phoned my friend and relayed the events that had happened and she said, “you know in some cultures seeing an owl is a sign of death.”  Not knowing any of this I, of course, googled it and I wish I hadn’t. You see just a couple of weeks before this I had an overwhelming sense of dread. I had a feeling that I was about to die. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know when, but I felt a certainty unlike anything else I have ever felt in my life. I am still scared of it.

So you can understand that I was more than a little shaken by the news I found on Google. Here is what I found.

Some native American tribes (which I do have a lot of Native American in me). For instance, believe that dreaming of an owl signified approaching death. Boreal owl calls were a call spirits to the Cree people, and if you answered back with a whistle and didn’t get a response, it was a sign that your death was imminent.

Also, owls were associated with witchcraft. Greeks and Romans believed witches could turn themselves into owls, and in this form would come and suck the blood of babies. In other cultures, owls were simply messengers of witches or hooted to warn the approach of a witch.

Some Romans associated owls with the goddess Athena, wisdom, and prophecy.

This is the one that got me cause my friend and I was just talking about it before “the incident” it was that the Ancient Christians saw owls as a sign of evil and linked then with Lilith, Adam’s first, disobedient wife.

There is so much lore, centered around the owls that by the time I read through everything my head was spinning, but he seems to now be following me. I am more than a little freaked out now. It’s as if he doesn’t want me to forget him or something. Because owls keep popping up everywhere in my life. To show you what I mean I am going to add some pics I took of different owls and you can tell me an I worrying for nothing?

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There is one pic I don’t have it was right after this incident I had all but forgotten the creepiness of the evening but then I went to work one morning and a friend of mine walked past me and there on her shoulder was an owl purse. Same beady eyes as the real one, but this was only the beginning.

The next one is about a week or so later and I have a pic of it. I went to the doctor to get stitches and as I looked up there at the entrance to the waiting room was a painting of a whole family of freaking owls.

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Then came the ads on tv. This one was an insurance commercial.

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This one is self-explanatory.

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Then came my favorite way to procrastinate (while I am not writing) the tv shows. Granted I have only seen them on two tv shows but they are there every time I watch. This one is 2 Broke Girls see what is behind her on the counter yup it is another owl. I have another pic of the same episode with a shot of an owl on the fridge but I cannot find it at the moment.

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Then there is THE BIG BANG THEORY! Look at the table owl salt and pepper shakers. There is another episode where she is in the apartment she had and it does a screen shot of her at the kitchen island with green owl salt and pepper shakers but I never captured that one.

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Then there is this one same episode but look what is hanging on the wall behind him.

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Then there is my everyday life. My favorite place in the world my used bookstore where I do my open mike poetry nights. The place where I go to unwind and relax. My church so to speak and now it too has been riddled with owls.

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And I stopped by there this morning and what do you know right in front of me the owner’s newest addition to the store. Another freaking owl!

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Annnd last but I am certain not the least. I was scrolling through stuff on Google this morning after that last pic when I came across the Native American Animal signs. I am not an owl but my best friend who just had her birthday on Saturday is. Ironically the pic looks just like the one I saw that first night, but in a drawing form. Here is that pic.

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I am losing my mind here. Please, someone, tell me this is not something I should worry about or is it much like you know when you buy a car and you never see that type of car. Then suddenly because you have one they are everywhere. Am I subconsciously seeking them out? I don’t feel as if I am and yet, they seem to be haunting me. Everywhere I go. Is my madness finally kicking in by way of a night flying bird? Or do I really need to be watchful of falling beams and such? You tell me. Any input would be greatly received.