Well, today is the day! The one day a year we all come together and celebrate our Independence! Yes, that’s right it is the FOURTH OF JULY! Where no matter where you are in this country, no matter how illegal it is you are going to shoot off fireworks! The day no matter what race, religion, sexual preference we all come together to blow shit up!

However, I always think of the song “INDEPENDENCE DAY” BY MARTINA MCBRIDE!

It is a country song, yet the words, the words are powerful! It tells the story of a woman that was beaten and battered for years that finally won her Independence by setting the house on fire with her husband in it! She may have gone to jail for her actions yet she did it with a smile on her face and protected her daughter in the process. She won her freedom that day the only way she knew how! This song simultaneously makes me makes me cry and gives me a sense of peace!

This song came out in 1993! It came to me at a time in my life where I thought I would never find my Independence! I was 16 and with nowhere to go living under a tyrannical abusive parent that I was sure would kill me before I was 18 and able to leave home. This song gave me hope for a future I had yet to see! A future I hoped and prayed would come sooner rather than later! Independence means something far greater to me than The fourth of July!

At eighteen I left and never looked back! I even said I would never come back no one believed me! Everyone in the small town I am from thought, that I would come running back in a few weeks or months with my tail tucked between my legs a miserable failure!

I never did! Yes, I stumbled along the way and I have been through a lot of educational experiences! Yet, what I found was breathtaking… I found me. I found the strength to carry on and  celebrate my own Independence Day… every day!

Every day that I don’t compromise who and what I am for someone else’s gain, every day that I don’t give in to others despite my reservations, every day that I love and cherish my kids, every day that I don’t raise my hands in anger, every day that I don’t make someone else feel like nothing for my gain that is my Independence day!

I feel for those still struggling and I hope and pray they find their way to their own Independence day minus the fire of course! Yes, we are celebrating out countries Independence from the British today but if you have found your own personal Independence you know as well as I do that it is a daily celebration! To be able to be free to be who you are with no persecution and criticism! To  live life happy that is the dream and that is my Independence Day!

What’s yours?



The Sphinx, the Pyramids, Budda and faces of unknown origin. This is what Nasa is now claiming Mars has in common with Earth! Apparantly since the very first rover mission to Mars there have been hundreds of pictures if not thousands sent back to Nasa showing Pyramids in clusters as if they were part of a large city, a mirror image of the Sphinx, A possible Budda head, and even carvings of human faces in the ground! What? Mind blown!

This was all on the one and only episode of Ancient Aliens that has really peaked my interest. Yes, they are saying that it is proof aliens are out there and are going so far as to say that maybe they are among us today since we have the same statues and monuments here on Earth. While, I still don’t believe in aliens I do find these real life pictures fascinating. Yet, ever playing the devil’s advocate I gotta ask the question. Why now? Since realizing that Nasa is separate from our government and the possibility that they have been hiding their own version of area 51. It seems rather fishy to me that after years and years of collecting their own data only now in the last couple of years have they actually admitted finding anything and have begun releasing photographic proof of possible life on Mars. It really does beg the question. Why now? Also, what else is Nasa hiding from the public?

Maybe, I have finally gone off the deep end but it seems that every single time there is political strife going on in the world. That is when the government chooses to release possible evidence to the world and now it appears that Nasa has jumped on the bandwagon as well. Is this just to divert the public’s attention from what is going on in the world? Or is there something more sinister going on here? Are they only releasing this little tidbit of information to pacify us while they hide the really big stuff? Or is there simply nothing else to tell? Or and I am once again playing devil’s advocate here what if these photos are really fake and they are just perpetuating the myth that we are not alone? Whatever their reasons. I personally believe Nasa knows way more than they are letting on.

Now I have watched a ton of episodes of Ancient Aliens I Will be the first to admit I am a little addicted to the show even though I don’t believe in aliens. In fact I may be the first ever addicted to a show designed to make you believe in aliens that doesn’t believe in them. Yet, it keeps me enthralled.

There have been episodes on lei lines, portals, and even worm holes in space. Which I am not wholly sold on. There have also been episodes of great battles, possibly fought on Earth as well as in outer space. There are so many possibilities that it can make one dizzy to think about. Yet, the thought of statues and monuments on Mars that mirror our own makes me wonder what if?

I have either fallen down the rabbit hole completly or I’ve gone insane but after watching this particular episode my imagination has begun to run away with me. So I pose this question. What if Mars is in fact Earth? Just the future Earth and it has been somehow thrown through some kind of worm hole or other plane of existence and so it resides beside the current state of our planet? Not destroyed by some kind of galactic alien fight but by mankind itself.

Crazy thought right? Or is it? We destroy one another at such a rapid pace nowadays that this is all we see on the news anymore. Is it so far fetched to think that maybe in the not so distant future we not aliens will be what ends life on this planet?

We are currently seeking ways to colonize Mars in case we need an exit strategy. I say to this why don’t we stop looking at the heavens for answers and try to figure out how to save our planet now. So we don’t need that exit strategy. I’d really hate to see the look on humanties face when they have that ” planet of the Apes” moment when we finally get to Mars and it dawns on us that we are staring at our future. That we are gazing upon a planet we destroyed ourselves.

I am probably just spinning a tale here, but wouldn’t that make for one hell of a story.

I’m on the radio!!!!!!

Sooo, as you all know I published a book back in January. I self published I might add. Also back in May I did my very first ever reading of that book. I thought the hard part was over when I wrote the book but I am finding out that selling the book and just as importantly yourself is a whole different animal altogether. Since I am doing it all by myself coupled with the fact that I am a nobody in the writing community. I find it has been a bit more difficult than anticipated.

Add to this fact that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing it has been a fly by the seat of my pants kind of thing. It has been a remarkable learning experience for me.

I felt that I was stalled out on this after my reading and was getting frustrated. Then like a lightbulb going off in my head a couple of weeks ago. As if someone whispered the idea in my head. I reached out to a new friend I made at an open mike night last year that has his own radio show to see if he would plug my book. Thinking nothing would come of it I wad rather surprised when he actually invited me on his show to plug the book myself.

It took place on November 6th. Voting Tuesday! Yuck! At 7pm! It was remarkable and though I haven’t seen any results yet I know I touched a lot of people and that is what counts. For the 1st time since telling my story I feel like I have reached someone. For the 1st time in a long time I feel as though I have been heard. It was an amazing experience and one I would love to repeat over and over again. Here I go one step at a time.

The feed was streamed live through facebook youtube and it is still there if you guys want to check it out. I will add the link below. And please pass it on!!!!



I love watching ancient aliens. I love it so much that I like to analyze and break down each episode and think about it as if I were doing the show. Don’t get me wrong I do not believe in little green men but I do believe in a higher power. Over the years of watching this show it amazes me how closly the religious aspect and the science part of it all exist parallel to one another. What I find even more fascinating is that when they do touch on scripture or events that took place in the Bible they chalk it all up to myth or legend. “Hello! You just recited that one scripture that proves it was angels not aliens and you still don’t believe?”

Granted, angels could be construed as aliens in the most technical scence of the term. Yet, it still boggles my mind that these highly trained scholars are so dismissive of what is right in front of them. In almost every culture in ancient drawings and scripture there is talk of angels or messengers if you will. There is even talk of their offspring with the humans these giants of man. So why chalk it all up to aliens?

My oldest son and I discussed this at length last night and I think I figured out the reason. Our mere human minds cannot even pretend to comprehend the majesty of angels and all their possibilities and so what do we do when we cannot understand something. Especially those that have dedicated their lives to science. We pick apart the thread of truth that we know deep down inside our soul. Until there is nothing left but the idea of aliens.

I don’t think we are supposed to know everything there is to know but our curious nature will keep us guessing until our dying breath then all will be revealed.

Take the last episode I watched for example it was all about the moon. The guys on the show and other researchers and scientists have concluded that the moon was brought into our solar system. Just because it is the only one of it’s size, the only moon in our solar system that rotates the way it does around the earth, and because of it’s distance from the sun even though the sun is much bigger that can cause a lunar eclipse. They say it is to perectly aligned with our planet to not have been placed there by aliens. They have determined that it is a possibility that the moon is hollow! Back in the 70’s a rover of some sort was crash landed back to the moon and it caused a ringing sound like a bell and a vibration that went throughout the moon for about 45 minutes. They did it again later with something bigger and got an even bigger effect. The moon sounded out like a gong with vibrations lasting over 3 hours.

This coupled with the fact that the type of rock that exist on the moon that is made to absorb sound and the sheer thickness of every single crater that only go so deep into the ground. They are now saying that the moon is hollow. They have even gone so far as to say it is a possibility that the outer shell we see is a cover up and that there may be a thriving spaceship inside. We only ever see one side of the moon and now with this new theory they are saying it is a possibility that the “dark side” of the moon may be a thriving city of aliens. Keeping a secret watch over us earthlings! Really????

What I heard when I watched this show is that even the moon plays a much bigger roll than what we originally thought. What I hear when these guys talk about the moon being perfectly aligned and it being too perect to be a coincidence is that they are right just not in the way they think. The moon is part of a grand design just not by aliens.

In Genesis chapter one verse one it says that God created the heavens and the earth.

In verse 4 it talks about him creating the sun, the moon and the stars.

With all these alien seakers out there. My question is this. Why in these scriptures would God specifically speak of creating our earth and our moon sun and stars if there was other beings out there? The moon is his grand design because it is part of the make up of earth the only planet capable of having life thrive on it.

In those first four verses our entire world was created but I find it fascinating that those that could make a difference choose to chalk it all up to myth. Now I know that the books of the Bible were put together by man and even written by man. Yet, could they not also be historically accurate?

There are too many ancient depictions around the world proving its accuracy to dismiss it haphazardly. All I know is that whether it was “alien” made or made by God the moon is still a mystery to mankind in so many ways. Maybe one day it will reveal all of it’s secrets. Until then I gaze upon the man in the moon with a smile. He brings me comfort in my darkest hours. He lights up the night with his mischievous grin. He was here long before me and he will be here long after I am gone and that is all I need to know about this mystical moon.

Cloudy daze

The clouds roll in and linger over me like a blanket. Smothering me with their depressing taint. I now know there is no escaping my dark thoughts and they are becoming even darker still.

I can almost smell the rain that threatens to fall from their murky depths, my mood now fully matching the sky, I begin to weep.

In this moment, I am heartbroken, and utterly alone. My soul shattered into a million little pieces with no way of ever recovering.

I die a thousand tiny deaths over and over at the thought that you are gone. I keep telling myself one day I will be happy again.

However, right now there is no balm for my weathered soul. There is no cure for what ails me. It is just me amongst my demons.

Maybe one day the clouds will part and the sun will shine down upon me again but for now I take comfort in the pain. It brings me hope that I can still feel at all!

Truth or Lies?

The truth shall set you free, the only problem is that noone wants to be free, not really. For example:

Society today is addicted to the quiet lies fed to us through media platforms. It’s so subtle because we have been raised to believe everything we see in said media is the truth! Never realizing or no longer trusting our inner self to see that maybe, just maybe we are being duped.

Every thing from ads on your favorite laundry soap that promises stain free clothes (which I think subliminally promise much, much more and so we bite! Another customer hooked!) To now even news feeds.

Has anyone stopped to think or even suspect that if they can do all kinds of neat tricks like making it appear as though Sandra Bullock is floating around in space. Or that Matt Damon is really lost on Mars. Or make a futuristic world that doesn’t exist! Surely, they can jazz up a little news feed right?

The media would have you believe that racism is dead, or at least on the decline. Yet, all you have to do to believe racism is alive and possibly worse than ever is stroll into any depressed area, in any major city when the sun goes down to see for yourself, that not only is racism alive, but it breeds like a virus infecting everything it touches. According to how we have been programmed seeing is believing, right?

There has been the controversial question. Are we alone in the universe? Scientists and finatics alike have fought for decades over this very question and according to ancient depictions. The question has been around for much longer maybe even centuries but once again media covers it up. To me it appears on the media only to distract you from what’s really going on in our world. It’s like their ttump card they pull out to get your mind off of the real issues. However the question remains. If we are not alone? Do we honestly, really want to know the truth? Are our minds really, ready to handle the possiblility that we are not alone?

Friendships come and go but what I have found is that each and every one of us play fast and loose with the real definition of the term “best friend”. Especially with those throughout the years that have claimed to be my best friend. I sometimes wonder are they really my best friend?

Every friend I have ever had save for one many many years ago never ever told me the truth. I guess I in turn was not the best friend either because to me the real definition of a best friend means you can tell them anything. However, with the experiences I have had a “best friend” doesn’t really want to hear the truth about themselves. Like for instance they are becoming an alcoholic! ( Which is the thing my true friend bodly told me many years ago even though I was offended and didn’t really want to hear something so awful about myself. I didn’t want to face the truth. I wanted to live in my misery, my pain, my lies!) That’s the thing with someone that knows all your secrets. They csn shed light where you may not want to see the darkness in yourself. However, once again, the question still remains. Do you really want to know the truth about yourself? Does any of us really? No one wants to look into their inner self and gaze upon their own demons. It can be a hard pill to swallow, facing your own imperfections. On the other hand upon reflection and many years later. I am grateful to that friend and her truth about me. It probably saved my life.

It’s just like when a wife asks her husband “Do I look fat in this dress?” She probably already knows the answer but does she really want to hear that the dress looks like a mumu on her? Or does she want the sweet lies he was conditioned to tell her? Of how she has never looked more beautiful despite her 100lb weight gain over the course of their twenty year marriage.

Again, noone wants to hear the truth if it might hurt their feelings or become offended by said truth. We have become a society that thrives on lies and gets offended by everything. Back when I was younger and not as long ago as you might think. I was told if you are offended by something it’s because there is a grain of truth to what is being said. Now I know that doesn’t apply to all things as the world is very cruel and likes to play “who can we offend today?” But we need to look into ourselves ans really analyze why we get offended over certain things. Is there something about ourself that we are choosing not to see. Or is it something we should really be offended over. Although, the lines are blurred these days. The question still hangs in the air like a foggy grey mist that won’t go away. Are we ready for the truth? Can we handle the truth? No matter how hard it is to hear.

All I can say from my experiences is that the truth, my truth, helped me become a better person. Even though it was one of the hardest things I have ever faced and I have faced a lot, because in the end when you are ready to hear it. The truth is the only thing that can set you free!!!!

When I become famous!

When I become famous will you look at me any differently? Or will you still look at me through your vapid colorless eyes? Will you finally begin to see my worth? Or will you see me as the same inconvenience you always have?

When I become famous. Will my name remain silent upon your lips? Or will you speak of me fondly to everyone you meet? Will, you talk me up and let anyone and everyone know how great I am? Or will I still be as forgettable as you think I am?

When I become famous. Will you ultimately wrap me in your warm embrace? Or will I still be the leper you dare to touch? Will I still be to much for you to handle? Or will I be the shoulder you need to lean on?

When I become famous. Will you actually begin to hear what I have to say? Or will my words of wisdom continue to fall on deaf ears? Will you listen to all my hopes and dreams, my fears, my pain? Or will you still be my source of so much grief?

When I become famous. Will you then want to be my best friend? Or will I still remain that person you once knew? Will I still be someone you’d rather not know? Or will I be your go-to when everything in your world goes dark?

When I become famous will I, still be the “black sheep” to your, misguided, pristine, white one? Will you suddenly love me unconditionally? Will you be everything I need you to be and more? Will, you laugh and smile at all my jokes? Will it be genuine this time?

It doesn’t matter because, in the end, I know who you really are. It’s too bad you couldn’t see the real me before. For, in the end, I will become famous! I will be somebody! Can you say the same?


Sooo many of you know if you have been reading my blog that I have now begun a spiritual journey of trying to reawaken my 3rd eye to revamp if you will my medium abilities. Which until the last few months I really, really, really, was skeptic about even with all the crazy experiences I have had in my life.

I try to meditate regularly and for someone that doesn’t even know if she is doing it right, I have had some pretty spectacular experiences. I didn’t share this one with you all though, and for some reason today it just kept nagging at me sooo? what does any writer do when the need to put pen to paper takes over? Yes, you can say it they write. I hope you enjoy this latest experience as much as I did. Make of it what you will. Here goes.

One day when everyone else had gone to sleep and the house was still (it is when I like to meditate the best) I began to meditate. I wasn’t looking for anything specific just trying to have an open mind and an open heart. I was solely concentrating on my breathing and nothing more. Now usually when I meditate it takes a while to get my mind where it needs to be but this night was different. I was meditating for maybe a minute or two when a woman’s face flashed before my eyes.

Now I can’t even begin to describe to you her face because just as quickly as I saw her face it disappeared and was replaced by a vile image that for a split second I couldn’t figure out the connection. Her face changed to the upper torso of a skeleton and it was charred, but the burns were different than what you would think of as someone burning alive. The black stuff was gooey and stuck to her like a sort of glue. It took me all of about 30 seconds to realize this was the same skeleton of the woman I had just seen.

Just as I began to wonder what the hell I was seeing of this skeleton that seemed to be searing into my brain because this image stayed a hell of a lot longer than the other one. The words radiation poisoning ran through my mind. What? This was crazy, right?

For the very first time since I have begun this whole thing I was totally and completely unafraid and so I asked out loud for the first time. What is your name? The immediate response was Alice. Since I only know one Alice and I knew she hadn’t passed I assumed this was the name that belonged to the skeleton I had seen just seconds before. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and before the question “Alright, What is your last name?” Was even formed in my mind the name Devereaux came to mind.

As my curious nature kicked in I stopped meditating and picked up my phone to Google her name. Now I shouldn’t have to tell you that there are many different ways to spell this name but what astounded me was when I googled her name this is what came up on the very first link. See Picture below:


Annddd somehow I just knew this was the correct spelling and that this was indeed the Alice I was seeing. To say that my jaw was on the floor is an understatement but just wait it gets better.

I began to research her possible cause of death and sadly never found one and her being in Suffolk England a place I had never heard of (considering I have never been out of the United States and Have no familial ties to England) and her dying in April of 1943. I deduced that I may never know, but then like a lightbulb going off or maybe someone placing the thought into my head I had the bright idea to look up radiation levels in Suffolk England. The results had me almost passing out. Talk about jaw-dropping. This was my aha moment!

It began as confusing as this had all started with story after story of Chernobyl for some reason but then there was one little article that had me shaking. It was about Suffolk University now I have to tell that this article was published 3 years after Alice had passed. However, it was the first known article of people dying due to radiation poisoning in the town and it apparently was so bad that the University was shut down for a time. Hence the article.

I even found the connection to Chernobyl a place in another country thousands of miles away. It takes over twenty-seven hours to get there from Suffolk and yet, both reside on a beach on the same coastline and to this day they are finding radioactive debris on Suffolk beach from you guessed it Chernobyl.

This still never definitely proves that Alice died by radiation poisoning hell I am not even sure what a skeleton that has been affected by radiation would look like but it all seemed to fit together so, so perfectly. I don’t even know when the whole thing with Chernobyl happened and Alice being 71 when she passed one would say she could have passed from a number of things and yet, I have the nagging feeling that whatever it was I am close to why she really passed.

My sister -in -law and I talk about this kind of stuff all the time. She believes in it all on some level but when I told her this story she did all she could to disprove it. Hell, I barely believe it myself and it happened to me. She said that she thought the medium in question (me) would have to have some kind of connection the deceased (Alice). She asked why in the hell would some woman who died long before I was born from a whole other country visit you? What kind of connection could you possibly have with her?

After pondering this for a few minutes the truth all but slapped me in the face. It hit me like a ton of bricks! You see while I do have faith in something higher than myself. I have learned throughout these last few months I am also a seeing is believing kind of person too. After decades of ignoring this part of myself and now trying to integrate it back into my daily life. On top of trying to do away with old religious ways of thinking. I have been constantly asking for validation throughout all of this.

I got the answer I was looking for just not in the way I would have imagined it to be. You see there is no connection between me and Alice. I have learned mediums mostly do not possess the connection with one that has passed. In fact,  it seems to be just the opposite it can sometimes hinder their ability to speak to a loved one or someone they knew. Alice was giving me the answer in the form of her tragic death. Because I had absolutely no connection with her what so ever in all ways. It was the validation I needed to know I must be doing something right.

I am excited about what comes next even though I am always trying to jump six steps ahead (that is the Virgo in me) Alice is my daily reminder to just breathe and let what happens, happen. So thank you Alice and I am glad you allowed me to share this now our story.

I have been telling a friend of mine at work about all my experiences lately and she said, “Oh! I hate to break it to you but your ghostly friends don’t really exist. It is all in your head?” I find this sad because as you know I have had way, to many experiences to just discount it all. Take this how you want it but these experiences are indeed changing me in ways I never thought possible. All I can say is believe in ghosts, spirits, energies, whatever you want to call them, because oh, honey, do they believe in you!