I watched an episode of GREY’S ANATOMY recently and as simple as it was it was powerful. As most of them are! This one starred only three people from the show, so it was kind of like their own mini Grey’s. Which just so happened to star two of my absolute faves from the show. The couple that no one saw coming many seasons ago. There is always drama between the two and right now in the series they are divorced and sharing custody of their little girl. They are that couple in any show you are drawn to because they are always fighting and never on the same page and yet, you can see the love they still have for one another if they could just get their shit together. The couple you are always rooting for in the end to have the happily ever after we all seek.
Sometimes, I hate this show because just when I think I am out and I will not watch it anymore, the storyline pulls me back in, Damned you, Shonda Rhimes (the writer of this show)! I can’t shake it no matter how many seasons I have to sit through. This episode was one of those that kept me on the edge of my seat. It struck a chord with me. The handsome successful doctor and rich, did I mention rich? The rich, handsome successful doctor who you would think has no issues whatsoever runs into his deadbeat dad that ran off when he was just a baby. The son is floored when the father doesn’t even recognize him. He just asks if he is good and clears the table he is sitting at. The son later says to his ex, “I just sat there and sat across the room I figured eventually he would see me and recognize… something. My face, my eyes, just anything and all I got was, you good? Literally, that was it no recognition or nothing. Like I was… anyone, no one.”
I got to thinking about this and I felt horrible for this guy. Grown men crying really get to me. It was amazing that his dad couldn’t even recognize his own son, standing in front of him. It was a shock even to me, I guess that is why this show is so, good. This was a real life situation taken to the screen and I am sure there were hundreds, if not thousands, that could relate. It was a heartbreaking moment when he finally confronted his dad and all his father wanted to do was chat like they were old friends. Not I love. Not I am sorry I left you. There was nothing in his tone or even his eyes that said he regretted his choice to abandon his son. Meanwhile, the rich, handsome, doctor was clearly falling to pieces inside.
I used to feel as if I would be better off if I hadn’t known one or both of my parents and yet, this show made me realize no matter how awful my parents are. At least they acknowledge I am their kid. There should be some kind of detector built into the parents that after many years apart willing or otherwise, they should be able to recognize their kid. Something in their DNA should speak to them, right?
With the woman he secretly still loved by his side, the rich, handsome, doctor, eventually overcame and instead of staying silent he finally told his father everything he had felt for so many years. Silence kills! I have had that moment when you are pushed to the limit and either has to speak out against those that have wronged you or let it rot you from the inside out. I have felt the dread that silence can weigh on you. I have felt the act of being silent while silently screaming on the inside. Clawing your insides to shreds, while passively looking the other way. It will eventually kill you, or you implode!
I was proud of the rich, handsome, doctor because he told his father he had a daughter when the father asked and as the father said,”Oh, I am a grandfather”. The rich, handsome, doctor replied with,” No, you are not a grandfather, my mom’s a wonderful grandmother, and you seem like a decent guy, but your not a father. I figure when you have a kid you’re making a promise and I don’t break my promises. That’s the difference between you and me. Take care, Robert. I am really glad I met you. Goodbye.” Then he just walked out like a boss. It was in that moment I got choked up. I know the sheer relief you feel after having told someone. “Hey, you didn’t break me. You weren’t strong enough to make me just like you. You don’t deserve my silence”!
It takes a brave soul to face their tormentors., and get past the fear and pain. We all just want to be heard. We all just want to be seen and accepted for who and what we are.
If you have seen GREY’S ANATOMY you should know that in the beginning and the end of the show one of the doctors always narrates something pertaining to that particular episode. This one was no different only it was the rich, handsome, doctor that narrated this time and what he said will stay with me always. I would like to share it with all of you. It is the reason for this blog…
In the beginning, he said,
FREEZING, CHOKING, GETTING TONGUE-TIED IT’S WHAT WE CALL IT WHEN YOUR MIND GOES FROM BRILLIANT TO BLANK. YOU CAN PREPARE ALL YOU WANT, BUT THE FEELING CAN STILL HIT YOU OUT OF NOWHERE. SO WHEN IT HITS YOU AND YOUR MIND SHUTS DOWN. WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND NO WORDS COME OUT. THE GOOD NEWS IS IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US.
and at the end,
FREEZING, CHOKING, GETTING TONGUE-TIED. THERE’S A REASON IT HAPPENS WE LOSE OUR WORDS BECAUSE THE STAKES ARE SO HIGH, AND WE HAVE SO MUCH TO LOSE. WE’RE PETRIFIED OF SAYING TO MUCH OR SAYING IT WRONG. WHEN THE TRUTH IS WHEN THE ONLY WRONG THING YOU CAN SAY IS NOTHING AT ALL!
Thank you, Shonda Rhimes, for inspiring this blog. Remember, Silence, Always, Kills, You!
DON’T LET SILENCE WIN!