Abuse has many realities. I have been writing a book on my past and it is heartbreaking to see all the abuse I have endured over the years laid out in black and white. Abuse is something that no one talks about, it is something that has gone on forever but when someone sees it in their life they think, “Oh my why is this happening in my neighborhood no less!” Yet, most of the time their will to do anything to prevent it is almost non-existent. The mere definition of abuse, I have learned, is subjected to what the abused themselves have been through.
I grew up in a household where abuse was a daily thing. As I got older and left home I met someone that had been abused way worse than I ever thought possible and for a time I thought “well what I went through isn’t abuse because it was not nearly as bad. However, it must be the old, with age brings wisdom kind of thing because I now know no matter what I called it, it was still abuse. I have been through so much that most of my life I have spent fighting. First fighting to survive, in a household that clearly didn’t want me. Then fighting to survive the horrible choices I made in my life, and now I find myself fighting the sheer demons from my past, that continue to haunt me, daily.
I have been told over the past several years to let the past go. I hate that. When someone says “Oh let the past go” either didn’t have a rough life or refuse to face the past and I speaking from experience know running from it never bodes well. I refuse to be the ostrich with my head in the sand ignoring the past and how it has defined me as if it never happened. Isn’t the first step in any program acceptance. I accept those horrible things have happened to me in my past. Hell, we all have a past, and for someone who has been through it. Well, it astonishes me. I mean I don’t dwell on the past or anything but I have finally come to terms with the fact that it did happen and I somehow survived it.
Like I said, in the beginning, there are multiple forms of abuse. I looked up the definition on google and this is what it came up with.
1. use something to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse.
2. treat (a person or animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
3. speak in an insulting and offensive way to or about (someone.)
These were the three definitions of abuse. Now just one of these is horrendous but two or God forbid all three, makes for a pretty awful existence. To go through this day after day after day. I almost laugh at the whole idea of other’s idea of being offended by everything nowadays These people have truly led lives of fantasy. If you are able to somehow turn something as stupid as a store selling cotton in a jar into a race thing or are just now after hundreds of years getting offended over a civil war statue well, it just boggles my mind over the stuff people take offense to these days. Try being the only daughter of a woman who never truly saw you. Or even cared to know you. She just thought you were the little stray dog she could kick around or watched and laughed as she did everything in her power to clip your wings so you could never fly. Try having someone that was supposed to be the only person in this entire world to protect you from the monsters and turns out she was the monster you should have been protected from. Or try having her tell you every single day of your life that you were never going to make anything of yourself and be a fat lazy bum all your life.
I take offense to that. I take offense that at the tender age of five I learned who the real monsters were. My mother and stepfather. I take offense that what childhood I did have was fraught with abuse and neglect. I take offense that in my later years. I found out that other family members knew of the abuse and did nothing.
The worst thing you can do after witnessing abuse is nothing. Or becoming an abuser yourself. Abuse happens daily it is just not something that is talked about. There are not enough of us standing up for what is right in this world. No child should ever be abused. The stander by becomes just as guilty by not doing anything. With today’s technology, there are so many ways to report abuse. There are no excuses. Report abuse now! Don’t let someone else be a statistic and in turn become one yourself.