FIRST MEMORY

CHILDHOOD REVISITED

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST MEMORY? DESCRIBE IT IN DETAIL, AND TELL US WHY YOU THINK THAT EXPERIENCE WAS THE ONE TO STICK WITH YOU. 

My first memory like most of my childhood memories was a bad one. I can’t tell you why or how it is the one that stuck with me. All I know is that it was my very first memory. The fact that it was a bad one is really very sad. Yet it is the low man on the totem pole when it compares to most of my earlier memories. Here goes…

It was 1980 something I was 5 or 6. I remember riding in the passenger seat of our car it was a Volkswagon Station Wagon white with wood paneled sides. I know my Mom, brother and I had just come from meeting my Father’s new wife for the first time. She had given me a beautiful gold purse with magnetic handles. I don’t remember the meeting but I do remember that we were driving down a gravel road somewhere and I was raving about my new purse. (My first one ever).

My Mom and Dad had gotten divorced when I was four I have no memory of them together at all. My Mom had remarried and even had my brother with husband number two. She seemed upset that I was going on and on about my new bag. She was driving erratically and kept giving me death glares. Oblivious as to why she would be upset I continued to talk about my purse.

Suddenly she grabbed the purse and tossed it out the driver’s side window and just kept driving. She never even looked back at my astonished face and crushed heart. As I have gotten older I get that she was upset about meeting my Father’s new wife, but don’t take it out on an innocent little girl.

She  broke my heart that day. It may have been the first time I can remember her breaking my heart but it certainly wasn’t the last time! I just sat there in stunned silence bumping along on that gravel road. You see even then something inside of me said not to whine to or argue with my mother even if I couldn’t remember why! That was awful and maybe that is why I remember it so vividly because it was a very bad experience. Or maybe that it is just simply the first memory that I can recall.

Either way, it is horrible that this  is my first memory. I want all of my kids memories to be filled with love and happiness and to not have their first memory be of me breaking their hearts. I eventually got over it, but that’s it. That is my very first memory.

I am currently writing my life story and this story is one of many in my autobiography. Please let me know what you think, and thanks for tuning in and being a sounding board for all of my tragic memories. Once again this is great therapy.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/childhood-revisited/”>Childhood Revisited</a>

 

QUOTES, AND LYRICS

EARWORM

WRITE WHATEVER YOU NORMALLY WRITE ABOUT, AND WEAVE IN A BOOK QUOTE, FILM QUOTE, OR SONG LYRIC THAT’S BEEN STICKING WITH YOU THIS WEEK.

We all have that quote from a book, or film quote, or song lyric that not only sticks with us but stays with us forever. Since I have started blogging. Things I would never have noticed before,  powerful statements whether it be in a book, movie, tv  or song I have been noticing them more. Maybe it’s the writer in me tuning my craft or maybe it is the metamorphosis of the change in me I have noticed this year. Either way, I have read or heard quotes and lyrics that will stay a part of me forever.

I have decided true to form that I will write about those quotes and lyrics that have inspired me over the last year. That will probably be everlasting in my heart.They all hold great meaning for me and I want to share them with all of my blogging family. Everyone should hear or read them. First off we will start with lyrics from my favorite songs that cause an emotional response from me….

BAD BLOOD BY TAYLOR SWIFT AND KENDRICK LAMAR

HEY! Remember when you tried to write me off? Remember when you thought I’d take a loss? Don’t you remember? You thought that I would need yah. Follow procedure, Remember? Oh, wait you got amnesia.

Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes. you say sorry just for show. If you live like that you live with ghosts. (You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go). Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show. If you live like that you live with ghosts. If you love like that blood runs cold.

SACRIFICE BY THEORY OF A DEAD MAN 

Everybody expects me to break but I’ll never break down again.

Everybody expects me to give up, but you’ll never see me giving in.

Everybody wants me to lose, but I’ll never lose who I am.

No, I’m sorry to say, There will be no Sacrifice today.

FUCKIN PERFECT BY PINK

Done looking for the critics, cause they’re everywhere. They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair. Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time. Why do we do that, why do I do that, (why do I do that)?

Oh pretty, pretty please don’t you ever feel like your less than fuckin perfect. Pretty, pretty, please if you ever feel. Like your nothing, you’re fuckin perfect to me.

This next one is only in here because I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe because it has been all over the radio every five munites of every day here lately. it is…

I USED TO LOVE YOU BY GWEN STEFANI

Suitcase, Band-Aids pulling back out the driveway, you go, I’ll stay you can keep all the memories.

I don’t know why I cry, but I think it’s cause I remembered for the first time since I hated you that I used to love you.

These are all the songs lyrics that really resonate with me. I hope you enjoyed them. Now on to quotes.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you. BY MAYA ANGELOU

When you do what you fear the most, then you can do anything BY STEPHEN RICHARDS

You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. BY JACK LONDON

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. BY ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

That last quote is also a line from one of my favorite movies which is my segway into move lines

That last quote was also on THE PRINCESS DIARIES

It seems that what we want and what we fear, is the width of an eyelash. A line from the BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL 2.

Rejection isn’t failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected, it’s how you handle it that will determine where you will end up. A line from the ever popular tv show, CASTLE.

That is the pearls I have uncovered in the last year. I can’t wait to see what gems I will uncover in 2016.

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/earworm-2/”>Earworm</a&gt;

 

FEARLESS NOT!

FEARLESS FANTASIES

HOW WOULD YOUR LIFE BE DIFFERENT IF YOU WERE INCAPABLE OF FEELING FEAR? WOULD YOUR LIFE BE BETTER OR WORSE THAN IT IS NOW?

I think if I was incapable of feeling fear. It would be a positive and a negative. The positive would be that I would be more open to trying new things. There would no longer be a “comfort zone” for me to hit. I could do anything and have no fear of. Will I die doing it? Will it hurt me? The possibilities are endless. These questions are no longer an issue!

The negative would be that these questions are no longer an issue. I could seriously hurt myself or worse by having no fear. Like scaling a Mountain or Skydiving.  I would have no fear of anything and the consequences be damned.

I guess I like being the me I am with a little fear and a lot of caution. I am not boring or anything. I just use good sense and good judgment when it comes to things. Sometimes I think maybe I should be more fearless, then I immediately retract that thought. I wouldn’t  be who I am now if even the slightest change affected my personality and I like who I am now but to each is own I guess…

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fearless-fantasies/”>Fearless Fantasies</a>

YOUNG HEARTED

YOUNG AT HEART

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON AGING? HOW WILL YOU STAY YOUNG AT HEART AS YOU GET OLDER?

The fact that time marches on and we can’t do anything about it is becoming clearer for me as I get older. In fact, it is marching right across my face! However, I look at my kids and yes, I feel old at times, with them growing so fast, but they are the ones that keep me young at heart. When I look at them and interact with them I feel as though I have a sort of Peter Pan Syndrome. I’m not getting older I will be young forever through my kids and their kids and so on, and so on.

Right now I feel like the young hip mom that holds their undivided attention. I know, though, soon it won’t be long before they get that vacant look in their eyes when I talk to them and they are ashamed to be seen with me.  I don’t care, it is my right as a parent and a time-honored tradition to embarrass your kids. It doesn’t scare me or make me sad to think of that time to think of that day in the not so distant future. It just means, with the passing of time my kids are growing into the men I hope they will one day be. I can’t wait….

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/young-at-heart/”>Young At Heart</a>

BLOGGING YEAR END ROUND UP

YEAR END ROUND UP OF MY FAVORITE BLOGS

  1.  THE FRIEND- IT WAS MY VERY FIRST BLOG. I HAVE TO INCLUDE THIS ONE.
  2. SLIM PICKINGS-IT WAS MY VERY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A NOVEL AND SO FAR IT HAS GOTTEN PRETTY GOOD FEEDBACK ON FB.
  3. AIN’T, AIN’T A WORD- MY VERY FIRST QUASI POLITICAL AND MOST HEARTFELT BLOG.
  4. WHAT FEARS?- I LIKED IT AND IT WAS DEEP AND MEANINGFUL TO ME.
  5. MEMOIRS OF A BIRTH MOTHER- IT HELPED ME FROM AN EMOTIONAL STANDPOINT.
  6. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM- IT WAS GOOD TO PURGE THAT HORRIBLE DREAM FROM MY MEMORY BANK.
  7. IMAGINARY- FOUND A PIECE OF MYSELF IN THIS BLOG.
  8. ROYAL FANS- I WILL NEVER FORGET THE HISTORY I WAS A PART OF THAT DAY.
  9. MR. DARCY- ALL FICTION AND I LOVED BEING ABLE TO FREESTYLE.
  10. ITALIAN STYLE- IT WAS FUN TO WRITE AND IMAGINE MYSELF IN THE NEVER ENDING FIELDS OF GRAPES IN ITALY.

I need to stop writing now or I will add them all they are all my babies and all deserve the same recognition. These are my faves, though. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I have enjoyed writing them. I will not be adding the links below. If you want to read them you will have to find them. Think of it as a writing scavenger hunt…

FAITH

UNFAITHFUL

TELL US ABOUT  A ROLE THAT FAITH PLAYS IN YOUR LIFE – OR DOESN’T. 

I have faith that every day I will wake up and that no matter how much life knocks me down. God will be there to wake me from my sleep and that I he will help me to continue to breathe and keep me going. one foot in front of the other. That is what keeps me fighting day after day….

a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unfaithful/”>Un/Faithful</a&gt;

GENIE UNLEASHED

GENEROUS GENIES 

REMEMBER THOSE LOVELY GENIES WHO GRANT WISHES? WELL, YOU’RE ONE AND YOU’VE JUST BEEN EMANCIPATED FROM YOUR RESTORATIVE LAMP. YOU CAN GIVE THREE WISHES TO WHOMEVER YOU WANT. WHO DO YOU GIVE YOUR THREE WISHES TO, AND WHY? 

Are you kidding me! I am free to grant wishes to whomever I choose? After years of granting wishes
maybe even centuries I am free! I am of course giving myself those three wishes. It would be my time to be selfish and help myself.