Yea or Nay

If there was a real fountain of youth would I drink the water?                                                                                                                                                                                                   Well that all depends on several factors!                                                                                   If the water made me healthier and all my physical ailments were gone and I was able to retain all the knowledge I have obtained over the years. Then it is a resounding YES! Who wouldn’t. Then you have the question will it make me live forever or will I die someday just slowly. Everyone is afraid of death in one way or the other the  not knowing when or how is very scary. On the other hand if I were to live forever by way of this sweet elixir I would miss out on the journey all of us have to take. The journey to see our loved ones again that have gone and the hope to see Heaven and it’s streets of Gold.                                                                                                                                                                               Then you have the question will I remain this age or will there be an age regression. Will I have to at some point go back through puberty again. Ugh! who wants that? Not I.                   There are just to many variables to say yea or nay. Until then I am finally comfortable in my body I have at the age I am. and that is enough for me…….        <a href=””>Forever Young</a>


Sequels, Sequels,Sequels!

Today the question is: If you could create a sequel to one favorite (stand alone) movie, which one would it be? How would it build on the original?                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Since I can’t think of any movies off hand that I would like to see in a sequel. I am just going to write about one of the truly best sequels out there already. Normally I don’t like sequels they are few and far between for me. They are either changing the actual actor from the first one, or they drift from why the first one was such a hit to begin with. Sequels  usually become the death of the first one. My favorite movie of all time is GREASE, the sequel sucks! Now I love Michelle Pfeiffer, but she’s not Sandy or Sandra Dee if you will. I try to block the memory that there ever was a part two just so I can continue to enjoy my favorite movie of all time. That is one movie that should have been a stand alone forever. It has stood the test of time and since it’s release nearly forty years ago, new generations have learned to love it too.Great sequels are very hard to come by at least for me. Maybe I am just a hard ass critic or maybe I feel they take something great  from the original.                                                                                                                                                                  One of my favorite sequels of all time and even surpassed the original is FATHER OF THE BRIDE 2. The original was so cute with the father (Steve Martin) losing his mind slowly while preparing to send his daughter off with another man. I love the relationship they have in that movie, it is how a father daughter relationship should be. The mother (Diane Keaton) tries to reign him in before he ruins everything. It is very comical to watch, and with a line up like those two you know it is going to be a feel good movie. Part 2 however is after the daughter is married off she and the mother of the bride come up pregnant at the same time. It is even funnier and with (Martin Short)
playing a  little bit bigger part you know between the three of them you are going to laugh until you cry. Spoiler Alert his wife has another daughter, which at the end when he is holding his beautiful new baby girl in his hands it is unforgettable. You can almost feel the loss of his first daughter to marriage, but feel the joy when he gets to do it all over again even at his age. The second one was actually based on a real couple this happened to. It is one of the few movies I always think of when I hear the word sequel. If you haven’t watched either movie you are missing out. It reminds me that there are parents out there so loving to their children it touches your heart. I am glad I got to see it play out on the big screen. Do yourself a favor rent both today!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    <a href=””>Missing Seqeuls</a>

Who’s Annoying Who?


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Middle Seat.”                                                                                                                                                                                                     It turns out that your neighbor on the plane/ bus/ train     ( or the person sitting at the next table from you at the coffee shop) is a very, very chatty tourist. Do you try to switch seats, go for a non- committal brief small talk, or make this person your new best friend?                                                                                                                                                    I got to looking at this prompt and was like what? Since I am rarely in these situations I didn’t think I could think of anything, however as I sat and thought about other situations such as being in that long ass line at the grocery store when there is only one checker and there are other employees just milling about, or the doctor’s office I am the first to show up yet everyone around me gets called back first. I started to think about scenario’s I have been in where you accidentally make eye contact and they think  it gives them carte blanche, to go ahead and tell you their life story. What they are buying, or what diseases they have in alphabetical order.                                                                                                                                                                                                  Now when I was younger I was severely shy and timid. ( As I established in an earlier blog post ). It was so bad I was rendered speechless just from being asked a question in class, even if I knew the answer. My whole mannerisms where different I avoided eye contact like the plague. I never raised my head up to just look around, in fear of eye contact. Looking back now I think it was a defense mechanism, so no one could see my deepest darkest secrets. ( The eyes are the windows to the soul, or so they say). Back then I would have ignored them to the death of me. No way was I engaging in suck things as talking!                                                                                                                 Now however as most people annoy me, I can’t wait to make eye contact with that guy at the grocery line that looks like he skipped work at the biker rally to buy booze at nine o’clock in the morning, or that nine month pregnant lady in the waiting room that still thought she could pull off a belly shirt! With her three other little ones terrorizing the other waiting room patients Ugh! I shiver at the thought.  I am annoyed with most people,  I didn’t go to College and have some fancy degree, but I do have Common Sense. Most people I run into these days do not, not even a little bit. That annoys the hell out of me if you are dumber than me, with no higher, education especially if you do? That is so annoyyyyiiiinnnggg! I have learned to turn the table on  those people and just be as obnoxious and annoying as they are. I will steer the topic toward me and talk about myself relentlessly. Usually I will pick a topic people are embarrassed to speak of in public or I will ask them questions relentlessly. They will most times pretend they are getting a phone call, or try some other subtle way to extricate themselves from the conversation  and I get to walk away with a smile on my face.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Maybe that will teach them, the next time they try to start an inappropriate conversation with a perfect stranger or they will avoid eye contact all together. Maybe not!  Either way I have come out of it unscathed and dumb ass free!

Books, Blogs and Blank Pages?


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Take a Chance on Me.”                                                                                                                                                                                 This is my second post on this subject today I just couldn’t decide between the two so I chose to write both. The first one is called BABY BLUES if you missed it. This one is called BOOKS, BLOGS ,and BLANK PAGES.  Here goes.                                                                                                                            This blog is about the chance I am currently attempting WRITING!  Ever since I could hold a pencil in my hand and write my name I have wanted to be a writer. I can think of a sentence and before I know it the whole book is written in my head. The problem is getting it all down on paper in a manner in which others can actually read and understand. I am in my late thirties and have never taken this chance. I thought to myself if I never attempt it I will never fail at it. However a little over four months ago one night when I was regaling a story from my childhood to my best friend. She said something that put a fire in belly and now I eat, sleep, and breathe writing. She said “we only live once, so why not live life to the fullest”. I thought why not, what the hell am I waiting for, death? She has been the one to encourage me almost daily since then and to pursue my dreams. My deepest darkest fear is that if I fail at this it may actually kill me. This is the one thing I have never attempted and the one thing I have always wanted. Due to fear of failure, fear of rejection and the biggest fear of all the fear that I am really not as good as I hope I am. I am just starting out and the hope is that one day I will be able to write something so profound it changes other people’s lives. Until then I am happy to blog and learn as I go.                                                                                                                                                       It is not even about the notoriety or fame. If I can help one person through my experiences it was worth it. I just want to write maybe one book, maybe more. Either way I can’t  stop now, that fire has woken the beast inside of me I cannot quiet.                                                                                                                                                                                     As far as taking chances it is now or never! I am at a do or die moment! As for it working out, well it is still a work in progress!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Blues

Today I will be writing 2 blogs!!! I couldn’t decide on just one. The first one is called Baby Blues so here goes…..                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out?                                                                                                                                                                                                       Picture this I was nineteen years old, hundreds miles away from home or anyone I knew and PREGNANT!!! Yikes!!!!!!! Now I know this sounds horrible, but in order for me to become the person I became, I had to go through what would soon be the most difficult and life changing experience I would ever go through. As I said I was nineteen and pregnant living with friends I had met on a Greyhound bus. (That’s so a story for another time)! I was in a very abusive (emotional and physical) relationship. It was so volatile the cops were called on a regular basis. Here I was pregnant, in a strange place with what my nineteen year old brain considered the ‘Love of my Life’ (boy was I wrong) no job and no way to support my child. I made the unthinkable decision to put her up for adoption. There was never another option (meaning abortion). Since it was an open adoption I got to pick the family and set some rules. Other than the heart wrenching pain I felt daily for what I was about to give up, it wasn’t bad. I met this one family and I knew the moment we met my daughter would be safe with them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I wound up having blood pressure problems and the doctors decided to induce labor. Her father which at this point I knew had been a gigantic mistake decided to go get drunk once he found out they were going to keep me and I was going to be in labor soon. What a tool!  So after giving birth in a strange city, with not one person there to hold my hand. I had the most beautiful black haired baby girl anyone has ever seen. I will never forget that day it was like yesterday. The nurse brought her to me after all the initial clean up several hours later, right around the time her dad decided to show up hung over, I was overjoyed.                                                                                                                                                                  She brought me this tiny little human being. As I sat there in the hospital bed rocking my baby girl in my arms I started to cry. First off how is it you could possibly love something so instantly and insanely. It was crazy how much I loved her and still do. Secondly the main reason I was crying the moment of clarity that changed me forever was one thought “I WILL NEVER BE MY MOTHER”. You would have to understand the relationship I had with my mother to get what a big revelation that was but trust me when I say there isn’t enough time in the day to tackle that one.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            After leaving the hospital without my daughter I went to the Lawyer’s and finished all the paperwork for the adoption. As I stepped back through the front door to my home I had a moment of clarity it was as if the pregnancy brain cloud had lifted and I realized this was the hardest moment of my life and where was the only other person that had a connection to that moment. Sleeping off the night before. I had just had the worst and hardest day of my life and he was asleep! WTF! Suddenly I was angry, angry at him for not caring enough to help provide for her so I wouldn’t have to go through this at least  not alone, angry at the world. I had to give up the one thing I loved most in the world and it was enough to make me wake up and clean house!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Due to this being an open adoption I received pictures every three months. It was a bittersweet moment every time I got a letter. I was happy to see her so loved but sad I missed it.  Today she is nineteen the same age I was when I had her, we are in contact she is the version of me had it not been for my horrendous childhood I assume I would have been. She is beautiful, smart and is going for what she wants letting nothing or no one stand in her way. She is in the Army and I could not be prouder of her. She was given opportunities I could have never provided her. I have gotten so much flack for giving her up over the years people would say things like “you made your bed now you should have lay in it” or I wasn’t a very good parent because I took the easy road. Let me tell you something there is nothing easy about carrying someone in your body for nine months and then handing them over to someone else to raise. I think the opposite about the not being a good parent part because in my mind. Knowing I could not care for her and making that unselfish decision is the definition of being a good parent. I am still sad sometimes that I missed out on so much, but me taking that chance and putting her with a family that could give her every opportunity paid off. She has flourished and I don’t regret it for a moment. Her happiness was worth all my pain and suffering. Isn’t that what real parents live for?                                                                                                                                                                   <a href=””>Take a Chance on Me</a>

Bittersweet Sixteen

<a href=””>Only Sixteen</a>                                                                                                                                                              What was I like at 16?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                What kind of person was I like at sixteen? Well that is difficult since I can barely remember what I did last week. HaHa! Let me see, well let’s start off with my physical attributes (Oh wait I had none)! Other than my flawless skin, puberty hadn’t really happened yet. With no boobs to speak of, no butt and my unruly hair always in a bun. I was deemed Olive Oil you know from Popeye! I was that awkward teenager that had no friends, I came to school to actually learn. Yuck! No wonder I was a loner. I did have a rather difficult home life though. I guess so no one found out about my home life I became invisible. By the time I was sixteen I was a pro at it. I went to school did my work and came home.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          At home was a whole other issue. I was never invisible which is where I really wanted to not be seen. It was a rough life and I still to this day twenty something years later am amazed I lived through it. I was a timid shy girl who never spoke up, and always let people walk all over her. I had big dreams and goals but I knew even then they would never happen. I always felt like I was a free spirit that could and would do anything she set her mind to. In reality I was just trying to survive my teenage years.                                                                                                                                                                                                I am now in my late thirties and I look back on that scared, young girl I was then and I have come so far. I just want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything will work out. I am no longer shy, I don’t let people walk all over me and I speak my mind daily. I am so glad I am not her anymore, but I do still sometimes weep for that ghost of a girl I once was. I got out of that shyness and timidness when I met my husband. He would always tell me to stop taking people’s shit “You can say no once in a while you know” Well after the first few years of my marriage it worked.  I started to morph into the woman I am today. Now I am proud of who I am and don’t take crap from anyone, even my husband.                                                                                                                                                                               I would like to thank him (even if he regrets it) HaHa for helping me find my voice, and rescuing that sixteen year old girl I used to be.

Fate or Destiny


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Que Sera Sera.” <a href=””>Que Sera Sera</a>                                                                                                                                                           Do I believe in fate or do I believe in destiny? Well I believe in a little of both. I think that there are some things that we are fated to do regardless of our choices in life. Who we marry, how many kids we will have even the family we have. Without that particular family we have we wouldn’t be the same person we were meant to be. Those people are there to shape who we will one day be fated to become as a person. Our fate is that one day, where instead of taking the bus to work you take the subway, or instead of taking that left like you normally would,  you take a right. Fate is that one decision that changed your life forever weather that meant finding the love of your life on the subway, or getting into that horrible auto accident that left you crippled for the rest of your life. Fate isn’t always kind but unavoidable because it is our fate that scares us. We are all fated to die yet the not knowing when, why, or how is the scary part, but fate she knows the answers to those questions, and that scares the crap out of us.                                                                                                                                 Destiny on the other hand is easy to change. We have choices with destiny, she doesn’t mind that you are changing her and sometimes will even give you signs on how to change her. Our destiny is in our hands the choices we make shapes and sculpts our destiny. That big break you have been waiting for a major movie roll or that utube video of you goofing off singing your favorite song someone notices and thinks that you have a great career ahead of you.  Our destiny is what we make it, as it should be considering it is our destiny.                                                                                                                                                                However sometimes fate and destiny intersect. Pow! That is the moment when something amazing happens. It is either really really bad or one of the best moments of our lives. I don’t know what you prefer Fate or Destiny. Personally I can’t wait to see how high the sparks will fly when Fate and Destiny collide.