Soooo. I had a book reading for my book at the bookstore that I do all my open mike nights at. The book that I have been working on for nearly 2 years and is now for sale on Barnes and Noble and Amazon. In case you are new to my blog, it is called MEMOIRS OF A BIRTH MOTHER.
I advertised for over a month of the upcoming event and even had a lot of people say they were coming that didn’t but in the end, it was a spectacular day. My family who never took me seriously showed up to support me and that in and of itself was heartwarming.
My reading was the day before mother’s day and if any of you have read any of my book it is about the struggle I had in giving my daughter up for adoption over 20 years ago. There is even a chapter in there that goes over that first mothers day and how hard it was for me after giving her up.
I do have a relationship with my daughter now once she hit 18 we were able to exchange information and we, text and talk al the time. I even had the privilege of meeting her for the first time since she was 18 months old toward the end of last summer and it was amazing!
She even talked about coming to my reading all the way from Texas in the military and now 5 months pregnant. Yet the closer the reading got she dropped hints that she wasn’t coming. I was disappointed sure, but I understood.
Then the big day was finally here and not a lot of people showed but as it was the day before mother’s day again I understood that they may have other plans. Seconds before I was to take the stage already in terrified mode. A flurry of pink catches my eye from the window and there she was. My daughter and her husband walking into my little bookstore in a town she had never been in like a boss!
I instantly burst into tears and wanted so badly to cancel the reading just to spend time with her but I didn’t. As they say, the show must go on and so what felt like mere seconds of hugging her tightly and crying I excused myself to the bathroom and regrouped.
The reading went off without a hitch and as I sat there reading about one of the most difficult times in my life. While my daughter sat there in front of me was, indescribable. She had already read the book and I knew this but to actually be reading about the hardest thing I have even gone through with the very person that stole my heart so long ago was a different kind of animal altogether.
I have talked about how writing this book has set me free of a past that haunted me daily before but at this moment, I truly felt the freedom I had been spouting for the last year and a half. The past was truly melting away with the words I had written that were now being expunged from my mouth. My emotions were at an all-time high and it was as if my daughter and I relived this past together. For one brief moment, we were one again.
Even, though a lot of people didn’t show they missed out because everyone that did show came to me after the reading was over and said that they were glad they got to witness such heartbreaking beauty. They all bore witness and lived my past pain with me, and it seemed for the first time they understood my pain and all I had gone through so long ago. It was more than I ever expected in my very first reading.
I have had some horrible moments in my life (more than most), I have even had some spectacular moments in my life but this day, blew every day I have ever had before it good or bad out of the water. To know that I have so many people in my life that cared enough about me to show for the event and then there was my daughter. My entire reasoning behind the book in the first place. As I said in my book she is and always will be the very first love of my life.
To know that we are in such a good place that she would travel to Kansas City all the way from Texas even if it were for only a few hours just to support me is the single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. As you might know, if you have read some of my previous blogs. I have never had a good relationship with my own mother and I never thought in my wildest dreams I would have the kind of relationship I do with my daughter considering I didn’t raise her. Yet, for her to come out and support me… I must have done something right!
In conclusion, I just wanted to share with you guys the best mother’s day weekend of all my 22 years of being a mother. And if you want to check out the reading it was recorded live on Facebook check it out or you can just buy the book it is only in print on Amazon though. I will add the cover below have a spectacular day!
The link below is for Amazon
The link below is for Barnes and Noble!