MIAMI

When I was 12 years old I spent an entire summer in Miami Florida. My dad lived there for work and since he and my mother were divorced when I was four I tended to spend my summers with my dad. Which was a break from the hell of my home life!  My dad had a job where he travelled and just about every summer I spent with him was in a different and awesome place. 

This was the first summer I can remember going to stay with him and maybe that is why it sticks with me, or maybe because it was one of the greatest summers I have ever had. I was raised in a small town in Arkansas that no one outside a hundred- mile radius from the town had ever heard of. So when I got my first glimpse of a huge city like Miami, WOW! 

  Before we got to the tiny apartment where my dad was staying, we went to WALT DISNEY WORLD, in ORLANDO, and that was an amazing day, that was the start of my amazing summer. I even got a kiss on the cheek from the head cheese herself MINNIE MOUSE ( see what I did there haha). 

We finally get to the apartment and literally across the street from my dad’s front door was the amazing ATLANTIC OCEAN. I can still smell the salty sea air as I woke up in the mornings in this tropical paradise. On a clear day, you could even see the parts of the tiny islands that make up the BAHAMAS! 

     It was so incredible I don’t think I can even come up with the words to describe how awesome that summer was. My dad’s apartment was also located on the same strip in MIAMI, that the very popular show MIAMI VICE showed in the opening credits. Crazy, I know, but it is true. 

I also made a trip to the EVERGLADES which was not  too  far off and I even got to see a guy wrestle a real live Alligator. The best part of that day was when we went on a boat in the water, the guides threw hunks of meat the size of my head to the gators and they would come right up to our feet on the huge fan boat we were on to catch the meat in their mighty jaws . Incredible even though I was a bit scared that they would mistake me for a meal. 

That was the summer I ate not only the very best pizza I have ever had but the best Mexican food I have ever eaten in my life. The pizza place was this little hole in the wall pizza joint walking distance from my dad’s apartment. It was owned by an older real life SICILIAN. He had a PARROT  in the doorway that insulted you on the way in and on the way out. I thought it was funny at the time, but now realize it may have been a health code violation, but DAMN that Pizza was good. 

The Mexican restaurant was on the other end of MIAMI, the only way to get there was through a tunnel that actually ran underneath the ocean you could drive right through it, unbelievable. I probably would have enjoyed, it more if I wasn’t so scared the tunnel would collapse and drown us all where we sat in the car. The restaurant sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean with floor to ceiling windows, It was one hell of a view and even at twelve I appreciated every moment of it. These restaurants must have been great if they imprinted in my memory and still to this day I dream of them twenty-seven years late. 

That is also the summer we drove to FT LAUDERDALE  not  too far north and went to the biggest drive-in I have ever seen. With at least twenty screens, it was awesome we went and saw BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II. I will never forget when I saw TO BE CONTINUED, on the big screen at the end of the movie, knowing right then, there would be a part III. 

Of all the things, I saw that summer the best thing I took away from it was the sheer amount of diverse cultures there were right there in one city MIAMI. I even met and befriended a little GERMAN boy, we didn’t understand each other all the time, but it was one hell of an educational experience for me. There were so many different cultures either on vacation  or there trying to start their own pizza empire or there for a new job it was amazing to see so many different people come together to dwell in harmony, even now it warms my heart to know we could all just get along no matter our background, maybe it’s the warm sunshine that keeps them happy all year. 

 Man it is amazing the things we remember in detail, either way it was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life, until the summer of CHICAGO, that is, but that is a story for another time. 

SIX?

LIFE’S A CANDY STORE

YOU GET TO BE A 6 YEAR OLD KID AGAIN FOR ONE DAY AND ONE DAY ONLY-PLAN YOUR PERFECT 24 HRS. WHERE DO YOU GO, WHAT DO YOU DO, AND WITH WHOM?

I have no idea! There are way to many variables like:

Will I retain all of my adult memories?

Will I be reverted back to the time when I was six years old?

Can I pick and choose my family?

There are just to many variables to answer this one.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/lifes-a-candy-store/”>Life’s a Candy Store</a>

ITALIAN STYLE

I played a game on face book that said what country should you have been born in? I was curious so I played it and low and behold it said I should have been born in Italy. Which is amazing because one of the places on my bucket list to go is Tuscany, which is in you guessed it Italy. I love Italy, who wouldn’t? I mean look at the picture above I mean it is breathtaking. Not to mention the culture and the history of Italy that is astounding. 

Did you know that with 49, Italy has the single largest number of WORLD HERITAGE SITES. That is amazing! There is the LEANING TOWER OF PISA, which everyone knows what that is, and then there is the SISTINE CHAPEL, the COLOSSEUM OF ROME, and the ST. MARKS BASILICA in VENICE, and many more.

I intend to see all of them one day,  I just hope I am not to old and decrepit to enjoy it. Then there is the food the pasta and the cheeses, OMG! I am getting hungry just thinking of all the pastas, breads, and cheeses, I could be eating right now. I love the movie UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN. Simply for the spectacular views and the amazing food in it. 

I have always wanted to learn ITALIAN, but have never got around to it, it is a very sexy language and I just realized it is never to late to start a new language. Let’s not forget the WINE, I would love to go touring the wine country and just hop from one Vineyard to the next it would take about a year for me to just simply relax, and just be drunk off the Wine Italy has to offer. To watch the grapes get mashed up, I always picture people dancing around in a big vat of purple liquid that would taste so good going down with some fresh goat cheese. 

To be able to just float around Venice, under the moonlight on a Gondola while a man dressed like a mime softly sings That’s Amore, there is not enough hours in the day to imagine the beauty and the wonder I would see. 

Not to mention that when seen from outer space the whole country looks like a dressy thigh high boot. That just give the whole country sex appeal. 

Maybe someday I will be able to visit, all my life I have wanted to visit AUSTRALIA because of it’s unique origins, however my tastes must be maturing because I now hear the call of  the centuries old heritage of ITALY, and all the beauty it holds.. Or it could just be the wine, Haha!.

BLOG HEAVEN

If I discovered overnight that I had gained 50,000 blog subscribers. I would be so excited because that would mean that I was right to post blogs based on my life and experiences and real stuff is what people want to hear about. Not what Kardashian is doing now and why? Who cares? It seems that social media has not only given us an opportunity to r
each more people but also gives you all the fluff that no one cares about. I want my blog to be about real people and real things that happen every day of the week. I would hope that speaks to people on a human level, and people get it. I would be so ecstatic  about having that many blog followers. Hell I am excited about the twenty seven I have now. I could not ask for more, as long as someone gets something out of it, it doesn’t matter if I have one or a million blog followers. I have already won.

SOUL MATES

YIN TO MY  YANG 

HOW DO YOU DEFINE THE TERM  “SOUL MATE”, AND DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH A PERSON- FOR YOU?

Do I believe in soul mates. Absolutely. I am going to tell you a true story about how I met my husband, before I met my husband. You may not believe this story but I swear it is all true. I actually had a dream about him even though, in the dream I never even saw his face. Here is what happened.

I dreamed I was in the desert, I’m talking sand and nothing else as far as the eye could see. There was just me, the sand, and the scorching sun. Suddenly there was a Scorpion in the distance it looked scary but I was not afraid. It crept closer to me and as it got right at my feet it turned into a man. Although his face was blocked by the sweltering sun, I knew down to the marrow of my bones this was the man I was meant to be with. Then I woke up.

Years later after we had met and were engaged. I prayed daily as the wedding got closer for God to give me a sign I was doing the right thing. Due to my parents having serial marriages and divorces, I think I had some issues in this department. I only wanted to do it once and as someone who does believe that there is one special person for everyone. I needed a sign.

As I was for the umpteenth time silently asking God for a sign, I look up and it was as if the clouds parted and there like a bright shining star was my sign. My soon to be husband was wearing a white tank, and I  really noticed for the first time  the tattoo on his upper arm. It was the exact same scorpion from my dream. Almost three years earlier, and almost two months before I even met him.

We got to talking about it and it turns out he got the tattoo on the same night I had this dream. Freaky right. I think it was God’s way of easing my mind, about my future nuptials even before I met my husband. I hadn’t even remembered that dream until that moment and it all came rushing back to me as if it had, just happened.

We have been together for eighteen years now and it is like we are newlyweds still. So yes I totally believe in soul mates he is definitely the only one for me.

I also believe that friends can be soul mates. My best friend is totally my soul mate, not romantically of course, but someone I was destined to meet. She is five years younger than me but it is like we have lived much of the same life. Hers was just five years later.

We have so much in common. that when we start taking about how parallel our lives have been, I get goose bumps on my arms. Our husband’s have the same names, both sets of our kids are only six months apart, and much much more.

I totally believe God puts people in our path for a reason and these two people were so meant to be in my life. They make my life so much more richer and better than I thought it would be.  Til death parts us.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/yin-to-my-yang/”>Yin to My Yang</a>

WHAT CHILDHOOD?

                                                   WHEN CHILDHOOD ENDS

WRITE ABOUT A DEFINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WERE FORCED TO GROW UP IN AN INSTANT OR A (SERIES OF INSTANCES). 

As my childhood was fraught with “instances”.

The list is to long to write in one sitting. If you would like to know more about my “instances” all you need to do is read any of my blogs tagged personal.

There is always more to come.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/when-childhood-ends/”>When Childhood Ends</a>

PAY IT FORWARD

           TELL US ABOUT A TIME YOU RESPONDED TO AN ACT OF KINDNESS                                                          WITH ONE OF YOUR OWN.

I live in America where most people I know struggle to pay their bills. Keeping a roof over their head,  keeping it cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. I don’t know about you but for most of us it is a real struggle. Not to mention the grocery bill. I will have to admit what with paying all the other bills, there have been times when there was nothing left for food. On occasion I have went to food pantry up the street at the local church for food.

It has been kind of embarrassing to have to resort to that, but the people at the church met me with such kindness in their eyes, it almost made me want to cry. No judgement whatsoever. It is nice that when you are down on your luck there is someone in the community that can help you. This particular food pantry doesn’t have much, but what they do have they give freely, and with open arms.

I had a friend that was really down on her luck at a time when I was doing well. I opened my cabinets to her and told her to take what she needed, I had just bought about a month’s worth of groceries and anything I could do to help I am sure was appreciated.

We are now back to struggling although not so bad that we need to go to the pantry, but I will always remember the kindness in their eyes and the love and support I felt, and the joy in my friend’s eyes when she realized she could feed her kids that night. We need more of our communities to get involved with feeding the hungry it needs to start in our neighborhood, who knows, your next door neighbor could be struggling to put food on the table.

If I won the lottery or I came into unlimited funds I would supply all the local food banks with an endless supply and maybe build a few more. We need to support our food banks and maybe open our cupboards once in a while. The feeling of giving is PRICELESS.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/pay-it-forward/”>Pay It Forward</a>

BODY AND SOUL

                                “I’VE ALWAYS FELT THE BRAIN ORGANIZES AND COMPUTES                            WHILE WRITING,  BUT THE BODY IS THE PLACE WHERE THE                                                                       STORY LIVES.”   

     KATHLEEN WINTER WRITING WITH THE BODY. 

This really resonates with me  on so many levels. I do not even know where to begin. My brain is always computing and thinking about the next line while simultaneously organizing and compartmentalizing what I have already done. It never stops even while I am at work.

I don’t know if this is something every writer goes through and I don’t even feel just writing a blog I can consider myself a writer. Yet I can completely understand that the body is a place where the story lives.

Especially when it comes  to an emotional response, love, anger, pure unadulterated joy, etc. Those feelings could never come from our brain, they come from a place inside us  that is deep in our bodies, our very soul even.

By now after reading many of my blogs you know I didn’t have the best childhood and all I could think about growing up was a way to escape my life. I was raised in church, and some of what was said stuck so suicide was never an option, although I know many people over the years have asked me why that was never a choice. Considering some of the things I have told them. I guess a weaker person would have.

I am glad though that the one thing I got out of my childhood I carry with me, to this day is my strength. I am so proud of myself for being strong, but sometimes I want to be weak  and just lean on someone else. I guess I am just not built that way.

I had a  moment not so long ago where my body and my brain clashed over something that came up medically. It was confirmed by my doctor, that it was due to past abuse. Up until that moment I had never told anyone of what happened when I was younger, letting it eat away at my soul and most of my mind.

I finally cracked. I actually pictured an old dungeon door covering my heart, that had locked away all the trauma and pain, the key thrown away to never resurface. However in that moment, I visually saw that door open and everything came flooding back so fast, it felt like I had been slapped in the face, HARD. That was the moment my brain and body clashed.  That was the moment that all my fears and insanity of my past came back to bite me in the ASS! It was as if a boomerang had swung around and finally came back around to me. I guess the saying is true no matter how much you try to bury your past it will always come back to confront you in the end.

The doctor could tell I was affected and suddenly I was filled with so much hate and sorrow I did not know what I was going to do. As I said before, I grew up in church and the one thing that was preached to me over and over again was never to hate. In this moment, I didn’t care. I hated with a passion, with a vengeance even. I hated the world, myself, everyone around me. How could everyone continue to go on with their  lives as if there was nothing wrong when my mind, my very soul had finally cracked.

Every smiling face I saw, hated, every happy couple, hated, every family that looked happy , hated. It was one of the darkest times in my life. I am almost ashamed of the way I viewed the world. The doctor knew at this point I needed help and I was court ordered to go to therapy for a while. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I discovered myself among all the feelings and emotions I had to sort through. It has been a long road and sometimes I will admit it, those feelings try to creep back in, although I now know how to deal with them and I am a better person because of it. For years I relived that moment of pure hate in my heart and was so confused. Did I have the right to be so angry after all these years? Did I have the strength to finally move on, and forgive? These are the questions that have tormented me for years.

While my brain has finally learned  to compute and organize the trauma from my youth. My  body is still on the fence. Between all the daily reminders of not only physical scars, but emotional ones too, I may forgive, but I will never forget.

ain’t, ain’t a word!

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/no-thank-you/”>No, Thank You</a>                                                                                                                                                       Ain’t, ain’t a word! Or so I was told by many a English Teacher back in my high school days, even though back then twenty years ago it had already made it into the dictionary.  I am from the south and everyone said it. Now that I am older and have moved out of the south I find I don’t say it nearly as much as I did growing up. I can see now though why my teacher’s spent so much time trying to correct me, that word is so uncivilized.                                                                                                                                                                                   However uncivilized that word is, it is nothing compared to some other words that have always been a part of the dictionary. There are so many more viable options like HATE, RACISM, IGNORANT, and one of my least favorites UGLY.  Do you know or remember the Tower of Babel story in the Bible? It suggests that we were all one people once. We were all one nation, one heart one body of people that lived all together in harmony. It was our greed and selfishness to see the heavens and the face of God that changed us. We built a tower so high we thought we could reach him. It angered God and he struck the tower down and once we came back off the tower we no longer recognized ourselves. We now spoke in other languages than even our own brothers and sisters and that caused us to scatter to the ends of the earth. That is why it is called the tower of Babel because no one could understand each other. That was the day racism was born.                                                                                                                                                          Abe Lincoln freed the slaves over 200 years ago and still racism remains. Only now it is for the people that wear turbans and those that are not exactly like us. What is this world coming to when kids in grade school fight over the color of their skin.  Haven’t we been taught that saying from when we were little “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. Just because one group of people are terrorist doesn’t mean the whole race is. I feel like as a country we have come so far, but when you look at the heart of people we have taken a giant leap backwards. We are still so small minded that we do not have room to grow as a person and just love one another. It angers me to be raising my kids in a world where hate and racism and ignorance and ugliness are still as strong as it ever was. No matter how I raise them they will still be in the world one day with all of that mess.                                                                                                                                                                                                   Don’t ask me to pick just one word that could be banned from the dictionary , because as long as there is HATE in our hearts, and there are people still to IGNORANT to know that RACISM is hurting our world, turning normal everyday people into something UGLY. There will never be just one word I could ban. We need to remember before the Tower of Babel we were all one.                                                                                                                                                              You know that saying God doesn’t like UGLY, well it’s true he doesn’t see the color of our skin just what is in our hearts and souls. So why should  we. Until those words don’t exist we will never be free of them. I  do not teach my kids those words and it works they probably don’t even know their true definition. So let’s remind ourselves we are not going to live forever. Our children are our future what kind of world do we want to leave them in? One filled with Hate, Racism, Ignorance and Ugliness. Or do we want their world to be filled with love, acceptance, and peace. The power is in our hands.

COLLEGE BOUND

OUT OF REACH

WRITE ABOUT THE ONE X THAT GOT AWAY – A PERSON, EXPERIENCE, A PLACE THAT YOU WANTED TO VISIT. HOW MUCH WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE TO HAVE IT WITHIN YOUR REACH AGAIN?

When I graduated high school I went to live with my dad. My parents divorced when I was four or so. I never really remember them together. Since my mother was a nightmare, and my dad was the total opposite, of course I went to live with him, after graduation. He offered to send me to college and in my mind it was the least he could do, since he was never there for me growing up.

However, I had just graduated and wanted to take a break from anything school related. That was a big mistake. The decisions I made in the following months, would steer me away from college maybe forever, and change the direction of my life.

I fell in love, (or what I thought was love). Over the course of the next few months, I fell hard for a guy a bit older and he was so good looking. Although you can never judge a book by it’s cover. It was a dream relationship that quickly turned into a nightmare. We hopped from place to place and at one point I knew I couldn’t go back to daddy with my tail tucked between my legs.

Then I got pregnant, one thing led to another and life just kept getting in the way. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I even wanted to go to college, and by then due to lack of funds and help I still haven’t gone.

I try to instill in my children the importance of college and hopefully get them to go. I have had some heartbreaking moments in my life over not having a higher education. It is hard to get a decent job without it, and I have never been able to get into the field of my dreams without it.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but no regrets save for one. I should have taken my dad up on his offer and went to school, but if I had I may have missed out on all the things that got me where I am today. It is a double edge sword, because I would have a completely different life right now.

You are never to old to go to college. For now I don’t see it in the cards for me, but who knows what the future will bring. For now I am just happy writing my blog and learning from it and myself.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/out-of-reach/”>Out of Reach</a>