MY ALL

I am tired! I am exhausted! I call you and you don’t answer. I text you nothing! I stare at the empty screen getting angrier that you haven’t responded. I can feel you slipping away as if you were sand running through my fingers there is nothing to hold on to. I can’t get purchase on my grasp and it saddens me. I can’t believe this is happening to me again! Why do all my friends leave. The only factor here is me. It try to be patient at the turn your life has taken yet while you are exploring your new world you are forgetting about me.

The one person that understood, the one person that helped dry your tears, the one person that was there for you in your darkest hours. Why me? Why do you all leave me? I know it is not my fault. It just feels like it when you all leave me all alone. It isn’t a gradual thing either. One day you are there and the next… Poof! It’s as if you were never there. No explanation, no telling of what went wrong and I am left wondering where did you go?  I know that my morals, and beliefs, haven’t changed I am the same. So what has changed to make you leave me!

I am tired! Exhausted even! I am tired of giving my all to someone only to realize later that was never the case for you. I have always been in one-sided friendships. They take and take, from me emotionally until I have nothing left to give. Then when they are healed from their experience… Poof, gone!

I once again learn a lesson never give all of yourself to someone be they friend or foe because once they leave the cuts are only deeper. It hurts but I have been here before. I know eventually I will get over this it is only a matter of when? I can no longer feel for you the way I did. The blinders have been lifted and I know for my own health I have to shut you off in my heart. I must warn you though once you are done, we are done. I can never go back to the way it was. I am sorry that I wasn’t good enough! I am sorry that what we had is gone. Most of all I am sad and mad at myself for once again giving my all!

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

Wow! I can’t believe I’m here right now! It is has been one year since my very first blog post! I started this because as you know if you have been following my blogs. Ever since I could hold a pencil in my hand and write with clarity. I have wanted to be a writer. I have a story to tell and fear has held me hostage until now! If you had told me a little over a year ago that I would be blogging now for a year! I would have said, “you are crazy”.

I have learned a lot of things this year I have had memories resurface I never thought would. I have had emotional highs and lows due to said memories. I have learned a lot about myself.  I have learned that I am not to blame for others failures, and I have found  a sort of peace within myself.The bile no longer rises to my throat every time one of the “bad memories” surface and I feel as if I am finally free of the past.

I have become addicted to the sound my computer makes as I type in the thoughts now  flowing through me and it is an amazing feeling. To be able to see my thoughts down in black and white and don’t get me started on all my fellow bloggers.

It has been one year since my very first post and since that day. I have acquired over a hundred followers. None of you will ever know what it means to me that you took the time to click that little button to follow me. I know I have earned each and every one of you due to my writing merits.  100 may not seem like much after one year but when you start at zero and don’t expect much 100 is the world. I appreciate each and every one of you so thank you.

I would like to give a shout out to my bestie Crystal without you. I would never have had the courage to write and I will be indebted to you forever because of that. You were the only person in all my 39 years to say. “Yes you can do this,” I have never known a support like that and as you know there is always a place in my heart for you. In my darkest hours you were there, when I felt like I was nothing, you were there. I just hope I have been as good a friend to you as you have been to me. You helped me see that glimmer of myself I thought would never emerge. I am here writing this today because of you.

Adriia, you have quickly become my number two friend in this past year. Without you, I would have never known WordPress existed and with that my love affair with blogging began. You too will always be in my thoughts simply by being you.

All the others that have supported me along the way and you know who you are I thank you. For those of you that have bought my book all 9 of you thank you. It may not be a lot but it is for a nobody! I am not discouraged I just need to get my name out there.  It has been a very illuminating year for me and you have no idea how much I cherish your support. I have never felt more loved as I do in this moment.

I have been writing my autobiography and I may need to take a step back if only for a little while on my blogs. I will still post prompts but I have been distracted by all the “DAILY PROMPTS”. It has become an obsession of mine. I turn on my computer or pull up my email, anxiously waiting for the word prompt of the day! I need to focus more on my book and it is a bit overwhelming to do both at the same time. I would like to post some of my book if but a paragraph or two. Just to get some feedback. If that is okay with you guys. I will also be posting the link to my book on here and the link to my very first post. For those of you, that didn’t catch it the first time around.

This is it, I have no pearls of wisdom today. I have  no pithy or witty comments. I am just basking in the knowledge that I have stuck with this for a year! Doing what I love and making people laugh, and cry at what I have written. That is the dream after all. To make people see and feel what I write. Not just some words on the page. I am embarking on yet another journey here one that I hope will be as great as this past year has been.  I am actually looking forward to the  next year and all that it will bring. I could never say that before and I owe it all to you my WordPress family through the love and support you have given me. Until we meet again…

Below is the link to my first and only book so far! It is supernatural and I love it! Only 99 cents at Barnes And Noble as an ebook! It is a short read but there are many more to come in this series. If you don;t have a Barnes And Noble account it is free. All you need to do is open an account and then to read it. Just download the nook app on your phone, tablet, or computer also free. Unless you actually have a nook then just go in and download my 99 cents quick read.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/slim-pickings-angela-appleby/1123285924?ean=2940157993566

Originally posted one year ago today here is my very first post link! I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing.  Bare witness to my first published work to the world ever. The day my obsession began.It is THE FRIEND!

https://angelaappleby09.wordpress.com/2015/05/29/the-friend/

ORDERLY

ORDERLY

WRITE A POST IN RESPONSE TO TODAY’S ONE – WORD PROMPT.

Vanessa liked things done in an ORDERLY fashion yet when she stepped into the room it was utter chaos. There were books lying everywhere. Papers strewn about on the floor. The fan was running and blowing things all around it looked as if the place had been tossed. This was her personal nightmare.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the mess that lay before her. What the hell! Now she had to clean this crap up too. she  was too good for this. She didn’t deserve to have to go through this every single morning. Frustrated she picked up the cleaning supplies in her carry on and began wiping down the desk that was the center of the room.

How had she gone  from a Harvard-educated woman to a cleaning lady! This is not what her life was meant to be. She had taken a dark turn somewhere. That was it falling in love. Stupid love. If it weren’t for her husband she wouldn’t be here now.

Yes, she loved him or whatever but this, she did not sign up to be the freaking maid. Being a step mom was harder than she thought. At first, they were just two adorable twins. A girl and a boy. Left to fend for themselves by their mother. It was just the handsome widowed man and his twin girls just babies at the time. Sounds like a Lifetime movie doesn’t it!

Five years after his wife died he met Vanessa and they instantly fell in love. Now here it is 10 years later and the twins were every step mother’s nightmare. Maybe it is that they were now entering their teen years or that they really didn’t care for Vanessa. Either way, they were tearing up her house daily. All their dad would say is “they are becoming teenagers. what do you expect.”

She knew this was not it! She expected a modicum of respect with which these girls were not showing at all. She could hear them screaming from the pool and suddenly Vanessa was pissed. Their dad was away on a business trip and would be gone for the next two weeks. As she slammed the cleaner down and ripped off her rubber gloves she knew what she had to do. Whether Kyle liked it or not she was going to get these girls in line one way or another.

It was time to get her house back, it was time to get things set back in her ORDERLY way. A small smile escaped her. As she marched out to the pool to set things right…

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/orderly/”>Orderly</a&gt;

EPITOME

EPITOME

WRITE A POST IN RESPONSE TO TODAY’S ONE – WORD PROMPT.

Epitome- a person or thing that is a perfect example of a particular quality or type.

Synonyms- personfication, embodiement, incarnation, paragon, essense, quintessence, archetype, paradigm, exempler, model, soul, example, height.

“The EPITOME of my life has come down to this, Nancy said as she scrubbed the plate clean before sticking it into the dish drainer. “Changing diapers, scrubbing dishes, folding laundry,” she mumbled as she picked up the next dish in the soapy steamy water. How could her life have come to this!  Yes, she knew the mechanics of how but somewhere along the way she realized she lost herself. People say being a housewife had its charms yet in this moment she didn’t see it.

She was just depressed she knew and having had her adorable baby girl in the last 2 months she was going on very little sleep. Choosing to stay home 3 years ago and turn her obsession into a career she sat down at her home office and wrote her first real novel. All she had wanted to be since she was a little girl was a writer. She never had the time. She had to pay the bills and following her passion was just not in the cards.

With her husband’s big promotion though everything changed. Suddenly they had more money than they knew what to do with and paying off the house and the cars. He told her it was time to follow her dreams. So she quit her job to write full time. She finished it just in time to enjoy the wonders of being pregnant. Taking nearly 2 and a half years she was so relieved when it was done and now, now after having sent it off to several publishers 6 months ago she was having doubts about her writing prowess.

If this never took off who would she be?  What would she do? As she scrubbed another plate one lone tear tracked down her face. Was this it for her? Just someone’s mother! Just someone’s wife! Nancy knew there was more to her than that yet right now it didn’t feel like her future was going to get any brighter. Yes, she loved being a wife and a mother yet she knew if she continued on as just a wife and mother she would slowly die inside. Hell she had only been “Suzie homemaker” for 3 years now and she already wanted to scream.

Has it really been three years? Wow, the time seemed to fly and come to a slow crawl all at the same time. The front door opened and John’s usual cheery voice echoed throughout the halls. As he peeked his head around the doorway to the kitchen she turned and smiled her usual smile and somehow she knew he knew it was all for show! He was the love of her life and a good husband the thought really did cheer her up just a smidge. “Hey hon, I got the mail there is something here from a Publishing Company,” he said as a huge grin split his handsome face.

At his words, Nancy froze in place terrified if she moved the words would vanish. “What, what did you say,” she stammered. His smile got even bigger as he just handed her the big yellow envelope with the Publisher’s name embossed on the front. With shaky fingers, she ripped it open and read the letter attached to the front of a very thick stack of papers. As the tears began to pour down her face at the words written. She caught up to John and hugged him as if her life depended on it. This was it, this was the letter she had been waiting on for 6 months now. They wanted to purchase her book and there was even talk of a movie deal. The thick papers turned out to be a contract they sent her to sign and the fattest check she had ever seen. If she agreed to the terms, of course.

A weight that had been getting heavier these last months suddenly lifted and she felt light as a feather. This was not about the money. It was about her purpose in the world. She knew it and now the world would see it too. As she laughed through the tears John began to laugh as well. “I knew you could do it baby,” after quickly scanning her letter. She was so excited. She knew there was more to her than just a mom or just a wife. She knew her essence, her soul was a writer.

There are always more to us than what the world sees and labels us as, I am not just a mom, a  wife, a housekeeper, friend, and lover.  I know I can be whatever I choose and I choose to label myself a writer. I choose to be everything and anything I want to be. Let’s stop with all these labels and just be…

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/epitome/”>Epitome</a&gt;

COUNTLESS

COUNTLESS

WRITE A POST IN RESPONSE TO TODAY’S ONE – WORD PROMPT.

There were COUNTLESS bodies on the ground! Everywhere Heather looked! Lying in mass heads ripped off, limbs torn apart it was the blood bath from hell! She was too late, again!  Someone was tipping her off to the mass casualties yet everytime she was minutes if not hours too late. This one was fresh she could still smell the rouge beasts that did this on the air.

Now that the supernatural creatures were known to the humans more and more scenes were popping up like this one. As part of the new Paranormal Divison of the FBI, she quickly became the head of the team due to her uncanny ability to solve cases. Little did they know she herself was one of the Supernatural. She wasn’t about to tell anyone this since she was already treated differently because she was a woman in a man’s world.

Assuming that humans were upset and taking these particular creatures out not wanting to share the world with them. Heather had been investigating as a human would. Missing possibly key clues to who was behind these atrocities. The last few death scenes were clearly done by either rogue Vampires, Werewolves, or both.

The scene she was looking at right now was horrendous. Something only an animal would be capable of not anything any human could think up. It looked as if the killer or killers had done this for sport! For fun even! The head scratcher is why would they take out their own kind? This was a scene straight out of a horror movie. It was as if the killers were mocking her with each one. Each crime scene she was called to was even worse than the last. This one, this one would probably stay with her and give her nightmares for an eternity. She could feel the bile rising up in her throat. Was that it? Was someone out there toying with her knowing she would be the one on the scene?

She raised up to her full height and closed her eyes sending her special senses out to try and catch a whiff of what the killer looked like. She rewound the scene in her head just before the killer’s struck. She could see a group gathering Shifter and Vampire alike. All gathering here to form a sort of peace between them. As she went into the moment she carefully walked around the bodies that were now so much meat and watched in horror as the scene played out not half an hour ago.

There was a glint from a blade and then there were wild dogs, no wolves emerging from the forest behind like a hoard of zombies. They were unlike any shifters she had ever witnessed they were huge and dirty and snarling while foam dripped from their powerful jaws. Snapping and gnashing their teeth as if they couldn’t wait to tear into something. Right in the middle of them was a lone figure. A man dressed in a cloak of some sort with his steel sword ready for battle. He raised his hood and the utter shock of recognition gave her pause. With the same grass green eyes as hers, it was her brother Sebastian. Oh, My God how had he gone rouge without her knowing it!  His eyes began to glow with the power only they could wield and as a sickening smile spread across his face.

“Come, out come out wherever you are. My sweet, dear sister. I know you like to hide who you really are but I know, I know deep down you are a killer just like me. All you have to do is come to me and the mindless killing will stop. Come to me by midnight tonight. Join me or the body count will continue to rise. This time with your precious humans.”

As Heather gasped and came back to reality she realized half her crew was now watching her. No longer able to hide what she was due to her eyes she knew were now glowing. She shrugged off the vision and shouted orders. As everyone jumped into line she knew what she had to do. She felt for the first time superior to her colleagues yet surprisingly uneasy that they now seemed to be afraid of her. She looked around at the humans running about and at the carnage that lay at her feet. Suddenly she was pissed, How dare her brother do this to her? how dare he throw down a gauntlet such as this at her feet? She would be damned if she was going to let him hurt another person be they human or not!

Yes, her brother was right about one thing, she was a killer and he was going to learn first hand how bad she could be while she was ripping his head off. She tapped her phone she needed to call for reinforcements. The countless killings had to stop and stop they would. Her soul, her very life depended on it…

 

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/countless/”>Countless</a&gt;