Slim Pickings Secrets Part 5

“Sit, sit” Richard said as he waved his arms toward the two chairs left at the tiny round table. What choice did they have the man always made Carolyne feel like she was in trouble in the princple’s office but her principle never looked like the man currently devouring a steak across from her,acting as if he didn’t have a care in the world. As she started to eat her baked potato and steak she studied his face with the blue eyes of Seth’s Wolf and his hair the same black as night as Sam’s their father was the perfect combination of his son’s. He was starting to get crow’s feet around his eyes and those blue eyes did look like they had years upon years of wisdom in them.He had an intelligence about him that was not only sexy but very, very scary. He was smart as a whip and just those eyes said he could tear you to shreds if he wanted to. She didn’t want to be this close  when Sam started questioning him. He had a dangerous air to him that said he barely kept control of his Wolf at any given time. It was no wonder he was the leader of their little pack. She bet  just one dark brooding look would be all it would take to keep the other Wolves in line. She was never so intimidated by one man. They ate in silence each one staring at each other you could feel the tension starting to stretch the silence even longer. Finally Richard broke the silence by saying ” So, are you two going to get married or what?” Carolyne could feel the heat coming off of Sam as he slammed his fork down and started to shake. The rage he had felt earlier at his father came back ten fold with that one question. How could he just sit across from his son’s and apparantly his friend’s daughter and not say anything how was this great man his Alpha and his father just sitting there casually talking of weddings when he knows something about the past. Sam started to shake and again had to start breathing deep to keep control. He grabbed Carolyne’s hand to anchor himself. His father looked up at him at the sound of the fork clattering to his plate. As soon as their eyes met his eyes narrowed and he sniffed the air. ” Something on your mind son, you know the rules no shiffting in the house”. “As a matter of fact Dad their is, you know I was shot over a month ago”. “Eyes narrowing even further Richard said ” by who? and why didn’t you come to me sooner”. ” I was taking care of Carolyne I needed to keep her safe” Sam said clutching her hand harder. As he revealed the whole sordid details that went down with his poisoning showing up at Carolyne’s naked, her kidnapping and Max’s ultimate death. He eyed his father wearily. “What do you know of her father’s death” he said gritting his teeth. Barely keeping his wolf at bay, he was crushing Carolyne’s hand so hard she thought he might break it. There was a look in Richard’s eyes of realization before he quickly blinked and the look was gone.”Whatever are you talking about.” Richard whispered.  Carolyne started to shake this man was not only keeping secrets from his son’s but now he was lying about her father’s involvement with him . Maybe it was that she had been around her Wolf so long she could sense that he knew way more than he was letting on. She felt like suddenly she had a wolf inside of her clamoring to rip his lying throat out. She even started to growl wait was that her? Richard, Seth and Sam all looked at her. She could see Richard’s eyes, through the red haze that was slowly ebbing it’s way into her eyesight. He looked as though he had seen a ghost, those big beautiful blue eyes now the size of saucers. The look of horror on his face tripped an alarm in her brain. What was happening to her she was suddenly so hot she felt like it was  100 degrees in the room. She was filled with a rage she had never felt before. She could hear Sam asking her if she was alright as if he was shouting from a far away tunnel. The red haze thickened until all she could see was blood. Her whole body started to tingle and she couldn’t tell but her skin looked like it had a glow to it now like a blue star on a clear night. What the hell was going on with her, scared and full of rage she looked to Sam for help tears now streaming down her face. She tried to scream help me, but it only came out a whisper to her ears. As the red turned to blackness she could feel herself start to fall but couldn’t stop herself as she passed out. The last thoughts was not the hardwood again. Before Sam reached out and caught her in his arms.


Slim Pickings Secrets Part 2

As she read and reread the note she couldn’t believe her eyes. First off there were even more questions than ever before, if that was at all possible. Second how did her dad know Sam was her mate. Carolyne was getting tired of all the questions piling up and no answers. She turned to look at the other books on the shelves there were books on every kind of magical creature you could ever think of. There were books on elves, demons, sorcerers, witches even vampires. What? Some of these books dated back to before the birth of Jesus. They looked like a how to book, how to handle each one or how to kill them. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that these creatures existed. It shouldn’t be a stretch considering she made love to a Wolf ever night but she thought on some level Max Dunbar was correct and they were just Science experiments gone wrong. According to the books in this room that was not true there was a history of shifters even before the CIA was formed. Speaking of shifters there was a whole wall of books dedicated to shifters. There were every type of shifter you could think of there were leopards, lions, tigers, and bears oh my. There were snakes, lizards,and even rats. Suddenly the world felt very overcrowded. How the hell had her father never gotten around to telling her all of this. She was for the first time angry with her father, angry that he never fully prepared or for this, angry that he left her so suddenly, angry at the whole situation. She started to shake and for the first time in over a month she didn’t feel like crying. She felt the need to kick some ass. With no leads, she didn’t have any where to go though. As she tried to tamp down the simmering rage she was feeling, she glanced a look at Sam for the first time since they started silently looking through the books. She wondered what he was thinking about all of this. Does he know his Wolf history, has he known more than he was telling her. As if he could sense her looking at him he looked up from the book he was currently looking at. There eyes met and he smiled a half hearted smile. She smiled back and quickly looked away. “Is there something on your mind princess” he said sounding amused. As she looked back at him with a new determination in her eyes she cleared her throat and said “Yes as a matter of fact there is, how much of your history do you know”. He shut the book he was holding and with that cocky air only he could pull off said” Why Carolyne do I detect and hint of hostility in your tone, you know after all we have been through I would never keep anything from you”. “Really because we never discussed you or the Wolf or the fact that your entire family are Wolves and I haven’t even officially met any of them except for your brother”. She said arms crossing over her chest in a defensive manner. “Look babe I told you everything I know, I don’t know the history of the Wolves I just know Slim Pickings has always been our home and there are a long line of Winchester Shifters that have lived her peacefully. You are the first human to ever know about us that I know of and it’s only because you are my mate”. “This is our way of life I don’t know anything else”. “We have a ceremony when one of us becomes of age and the Wolf takes over for the first time”. We pass on what we know to the next generation which is very little”. “Then we find our mate and live happily ever after”. he said as he crossed the room to engulf her in his arms once again. “As she accepted his embrace she looked at him and said “Yeah, but aren’t you curious where you come from how your family settled here”. “Always but no one has ever had the answers, so we learn to let it go” he said rubbing her arms. “If I am the only human you ever let in should I be worried about Angie’s safety” she said eyes matching her confusion. Chuckling he said” No, she has been your best friend since Elementary School, plus she is Seth’s mate.” Pulling back from him she looked utterly confused “What” Continuing to rub her for his comfort maybe more than hers he said “Wolves can sense when another Wolf’s mate is around”. “We knew the moment she showed up here at the house after everything went down”. “Why hasn’t he claimed her then” she asked thoroughly confused. “My brother is complicated, he never wanted a mate and now that he has one he doesn’t know what to do about it you need to let them work this out”. “He will always be there to protect her though”. “So you don’t need to worry about her safety”. he said as he hugged her to him once again. “We need to look at the history book on Wolves” she said pulling away and heading for the shelf once again. As she reached the shelf she pulled the book and hesitantly handed him the book. “You should look at it first, you might get all the answers you have ever hoped for”. As he took the book and smiled at her he opened it and this time it was his turn to gasp there in the margin was a note from his father Richard Winchester written to her father Gabe Carter. It said,                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Gabe,                                                                                                                                                  There is someone in town that is after you. I think it is the man we spoke of before. I am glad we finally finished building the bunker. I feel a change is coming we need to get our troops in order.  Meet me at our place.                                                                                                                                                Rick.                                                                    as he closed the book he looked at Carolyne and said well I guess my dad has been lying to me all my life”. I think it is time we pay him a visit”. “Let’s go shall we”…….

Slim Pickings Secrets Part 4

“This must be your mate Carolyne”, his father said and then reached out to hug her. As he engulfed her in a bear hug she was thinking of all the first time meeting scenarios she had thought about on the way here this was so not one of them. Him ripping her head off and eating it sure but not a bear hug. She hugged him back and eyed Sam mouthing “What the hell”. He let go of her then and clasped Sam on the back it’s about time you brought her round son, did you finally come to your senses and decide to have a wedding. “Wait, what wedding” she stammered. No dad we need to talk to you it is serious, as he said the last he peeked at her with an annoyed face. “Later” Richard said “right now I got some steaks on the grill and Helga will show you to your rooms”. You are staying a few days right, it is our annual family run weekend, or did you forget”. He said to his eldest son now looking annoyed. “No, no we didn’t forget we will go unpack”. Sam said as Helga his father’s maid for over twenty years appeared, to lead them to their rooms. Once at the top of the stairs she showed them their joint room and Seth was across the hall. As he shut the door he turned on her “What was that stammering, about our wedding” Caught off guard she whirled to face him. “I am sorry I was caught off guard, we have only been together a month and no one talks of marriage a month in”. He started to smile then and she smacked him in the arm “Don’t you dare tease me Winchester, I am so not in the mood”. He grabbed her and kissed her ” I am sorry you were just so easy” he said. ” Not that I’m opposed to the idea, but according to my wolf we are already married”. ” So you need to get used to it wife” he said as he bent down to kiss her again. “Oh really, she whispered now thoroughly turned on. He probed her mouth  with his tongue she started to moan all it took was one little kiss and she was always ready for him. He laid her down on the bed and she started unbuttoning his shirt it had been several hours since she saw his chest and needed to reassure herself it was still as beautiful as ever. Their clothes hit the floor at warp speed. He kissed his way down her body. First one breast then the other till her nipples were like twin cherries ripe and hard jutting from her body. He worked his way down until he was right where he loved to be, face right between her legs. He flicked his tongue out and licked with one quick swipe of her core.She nearly came off the bed if he hadn’t been gripping her ass to anchor her she problably would have. He began to devour her as if she was the only thing on the menu. She could feel the slow burn start to rise from her core up through her veins like liquid fire. Just as she started to orgasm he came back up to cover her scream with his mouth and in one fluid motion was inside her. The already slow orgasm now hit her like and ton of bricks and she arched her back and screamed  into his mouth for all she was worth. He loved the way she came apart around him he liked to think he was the only one that could make her scream like that, when they were together it was like they were the only two people in the world. He slowly rocked back and forth loving the feel of her on his hard cock, every time  they were together it was like the first time he would never get enough of this woman. She started grinding her pelvis against him letting him know that she was anxious for him to go faster and he loved nothing more than to oblige her. He started pumping faster and harder, his Wolf coming awake and growling using him as a tool to get to his mate. She shifted and just that movement caused him to lose control and as usual howled through his orgasm. She loved that she could make him lose it like that to make him and his Wolf lose control. He told her after their first time together the only time he has ever howled during orgasm was with  her, and she relished every moment of it. Right down to the very last rumble in his chest. He kissed her then gently and sweet the very thing she had come to love about him the most. They petted each other for what seem like hours rubbing and touching every inch of each other, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. A time later they were dressed and ready to face his father.” Let’s go down and see what my dad has to say for himself “. he said shrugging into a plain white tee. First we eat though I am starving and I smell the steak is ready”. As they headed downstairs Carolyne had a bad feeling things would not go as they hoped. Hand in hand they rounded the corner from the  living room to the kitchen. There he sat welcoming them with a smile and a beer. Here we go she thought right before her stomach growled………..

Slim Pickings Secrets Part 3

As they made their way back up to the upper level of the house, Carolyne wished she could read minds. Sam looked pissed more pissed than she had ever seen him. She didn’t know if he was aware of it or not but he was growling under his breath a low rumble from his chest. If she didn’t know he would never hurt her she would almost be frightened of him right now. His hands were turning from claws to fingers, claws to fingers, as he stomped up the secret stairs to come out underneath the staircase on the main floor. Seth walked in and slowed to a stop. “Hey I have been looking for you guys everywhere, where in the hell have you been”. He spit out hackles rising at the sight of his big brother, barely  holding onto control of his Wolf. “We need to go see our father right now” Sam sputtered out in between his fangs coming in and out of his mouth. “Uh. Ok. But first I think you need to calm down buddy”. Seth said glancing at Carolyne as if to say what the hell happened to him. “It is a long story Seth but you are right he needs to calm down before he goes and does something he will regret later” she said tone gone soft, as she gently  touched Sam and he whirled around to look her in the eyes. She very carefully reached up to cup his cheek and whispered “Listen to me ,we will get our answers but it will do you no good to go in there with this rage on the surface, please calm down my Wolf so we can discuss a plan of attack and fill Seth in”. As she stroked his cheek she could see his breathing returning to normal and the claws and teeth were no longer appearing at random. She walked into his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist and just like that he was her Sam again. A split second later he was crushing her to him and breathing her in. He never knew  that all these years just her touch would be able to calm his Wolf, so quickly, in that moment he was grateful for her. She was his lifeline in the stormy seas, his anchor, his rock. His brother didn’t have a clue what he was missing not claiming his mate. He thought just a moment ago he was going to have to kill his father now all he wanted to do was drag his mate to their bedroom and make sweet passionate love to her. He could not possibly fathom loving someone more. All to quickly she pulled away and reached for his hand as their fingers intertwined she walked into the open living room. Followed by Seth and Sam. They sat on the couch still holding hands and Seth sat in the big overstuffed chair next to them.They relayed all the information to Seth. The secret room, the secret library, the note from her father, the note from his father, everything. By the time they were done Seth looked about as shell shocked has they had been. He started to speak but then closed his mouth. This was very surreal for the first time in a month her would be brother in law was speechless. Sam handed him the book and he cautiously took it and flipped it open. Fingering the note written in his father’s handwriting, Seth looked at his brother and said ” Well now I can see why you were so pissed, I think we need to visit our father too, promise me you will hear him out though”. Sam nodded in agreement and they all rose at the same time to get geared up for a visit with the Alpha male. Getting into Sam’s Jeep they each had their own backpack with guns, and knives,and a little cocktail of truth serum (just in case). They drove through the back woods to get to the highway beyond. They drove through the little sleepy town in silence. Passing the Coffee Shop Carolyne whipped her head around to get a look inside as they whizzed past it. She missed working there but with everything going down the way it had, Sam thought it would be safer for her to stay hidden in their little hideaway. Now that they had a security room the Mansion would be impenetrable. She thought about Sam’s father’s note to her father, could he have known about her parents death before anyone else? The better question was could he have prevented it? She would soon get some answers. She was now nervous about officially meeting the Alpha, she always thought he was so handsome but very intimidating, now knowing he was not only a Wolf but the leader of Sam’s clan her tension went up a level. Sensing her discomfort Sam reached over and squeezed her hand. “It will be okay,we should finally get some answers” he said squeezing her hand tighter. Man would she ever get used to that him knowing exactly what she was thinking all the time. She gave him a half smile and nodded, as they got the the edge of town and started to climb she asked “How long before we get there”. “Well we have about another thirty miles in the woods” he said. “Your father wasn’t the only one with land”. Grinning that Wolfish grin at her she started to giggle like a school girl. Damn it what this man did to her. A time later after they went from the highway back to gravel roads down to dirt roads he finally started slowing down onto a well worn patch of grass. They were in the Mountains but she could not discern where. Sam came to a stop and said” We are here we walk the rest of the way”. “Are you kidding me she gasped how far into the woods are we going”. He just smiled and pulled her out of the Jeep,and grasped her hand to continue walking. After about a half a mile through nothing but trees and dirt they finally came to a clearing across it was the biggest log cabin she had ever seen. At least three stories high. She was in awe of this place. They all three approached the front steps and the door swung open to reveal a six foot plus older version of Sam. Brutally sexy. With his coal black hair now streaked with silver he still had that superior air about him with that mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes, He eyed his son’s warily and said”  Sam, Seth I have been waiting for you”………………….

Slim Pickings Secrets

There were knives on the wall that put her wall she had in the old house to shame. She slowly walked through and a chill ran down her spine. This was a network of underground rooms, they went beyond the length of the house above ground. She was in awe of her father, yet at the same time she feared what all of this meant. There was room after room after room in here, libraries with books she had never even heard of before. There were paintings on every wall like Monet and Van Gogh. They looked like originals too. The paintings were the only thing that looked human in this place. Everything was so metallic and chromatic looking. She was so confused right now.How did her dad do all of this and why? Was he really preparing for the apocalypse or was there another reason behind this place. ” Hey, hon I found the security room” Sam said as he looked into the first room on the left, in this underground maize. She followed him and again was taken aback by all the technology in here. There must have been about a hundred small screens, each one showing a different part of the house or yard, and every kind of electronic you could think of. Just this room was impressive beyond anything she had ever seen. She looked into the next few rooms, each one had a different purpose. She wandered back down the long hallway. One room was a kitchen so big it made the one upstairs look like a small closet. She saw a gigantic room that looked like it was a little infirmary, upon closer inspection she realized it was. She looked in some of the drawers and the cabinets in here and sure enough there was gauze pads tongue depressers the works. Once again she wondered what the hell her dad was preparing for. She could not believe the detail in every room. She wandered back in to the huge Library where there were just so many books she couldn’t count them all. Carolyne took a deep breath it was stuffy in here just like a Library that had been around for centuries instead of only a few years. She walked around the room admiring the artwork on the wall and the sheer amount of books on the shelves. No wonder it took her father eighteen years to build the house of her mother’s dreams, this room alone would at least have taken five of that. The air in the room suddenly changed as Sam came up behind her and engulfed her in his arms. She leaned into him and thought how easy it had been to rely on his touch in the last month. Oh My God! Had it only been a month since they got together? He nuzzled her ear and she spun out of his embrace. “Stop that, we can’t do that here”. she scolded. “This is a sacred place can’t you feel it”. Chuckling he said ” Babe from the looks of it your Dad went bat crap crazy at the end, he was preparing for something big but it has been seventeen years since he built this and nothing has happened. We need to chalk this up to his Military Paranoia getting the best of him”. She gave him a look that he had quickly learned meant he was in deep shit and she was pissed. “Do not ever say my Dad was crazy again, he was sane right up until some loon killed him, or don’t you remember that”. she said voice turning hostile. “There is something to this whole thing he wouldn’t have built it for nothing” her voice turning horse as if she might cry again she started to shake. Not good for him, to defuse the situation at hand he whispered ” God I am sorry babe, but really look at this place what Apocalyptic event was he preparing for, can you answer me that”. Throat clearing she said “No, but the answers are in this room, I can feel it”. As all traces of the moment of weakness dissipated she started looking at all the books more intently. To avoid another near miss he started looking with her. After two hours of looking at countless books on Science, Health, Business, Computers and any other book that would bore you to tears he raised his hands up. ” I give up I am going to get something to eat”. She looked at him sweat pouring off of her and said “Fine go on up I am not done here”. Just as she reached down to look at the bottom shelf she lost her balance and stumbled into the giant fireplace that took up one whole wall. As she reached up to steady herself on the wall sconce the fireplace disappeared and another room appeared. “Oh what the hell now”, she shouted as she practically fell into the dark damp room beyond. Sam ran to catch up with her just as the door shut behind them leaving them in utter blackness. He grabbed the flashlight out of his back pocket and turned it on to look around. This room was much smaller but still very much a Library there were several shelves with books on them. Carolyne reached for the first shelf labeled A and looked at the first book. As she opened it her companion started growling.”Cut it out” she said as she opened the book and looked at the title page. Animals was the title but she almost dropped the book and gasped as she noticed the note written in her father’s handwriting to her. It said simply.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My Dearest Carolyne,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 If you are reading this then I am dead. I wanted to prepare you for the horrors of the world, but did not get to it in time. There are monsters in this world you can not even conceive of. All those horror movies you love so much are not far from the truth after all. I built this place for you and your Wolf for the Awakening that is going to happen. This little Library holds all the secrets to all the monsters in the world. Take care and remember I will always Love you and be with you.                                                                                                                                                         Love,                                                                                                                                                   Dad.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             As the tears fell from her eyes she looked at Sam and whispered                           “What The Hell”……….


Failure is not an option. The power to succeed is within your grasp. At least that is what they tell me. Failure is an option it’s just the option, you use when you give up. I never understood the latter. The power is yes, in my hands but there are a lot of variables to them. Like what in particular am I trying to succeed at, does it cost money, do I need help to achieve my goal. The only power I have is the power over my mind. Yes I can lose control and fail or I can chose to fight. Fight for what I want, fight for what I believe in and tell myself failure is not an option. I have had so many bad  things happen in my life that I just can’t seem to  get past that little voice in my head that says you will fail! All I have ever wanted to be is a writer I have a voice and it needs to be heard. I am thirty-eight years old and I have never really tried to follow my dreams. I keep saying to myself if I never do it then I will never fail at it. If I failed at this. nothing that has gone wrong in my life will compare to the epic disappointment I will feel. I don’t think I would recover if I fail at writing. I  know once I start I will be great. It’s the getting there that scares me. This is the one thing that could break me if I fail at it so I come up with any excuse not to write. Again if I don’t do it how can I fail at it. The voices in my head are happiest when I am not doing what makes me happy. Misery loves company. Another saying that we all know in the deepest part of ourselves is so very true. Misery does love company, I have a miserable voice in my head almost all the time saying that I will fail so why bother. There is one small part of me maybe a younger version of myself, that I can remember used to be fearless, would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. Where did she go? The part of me that says screw the voices FIGHT! How have I let the fear of failure overtake me so completely that it has rendered me catatonic in many ways. Inner demons are a bitch. Now I feel guilty when I am not writing like I am cheating on my writing with everything else in life. It is a vicious circle. Sometimes I feel sick to my stomach over the sheer wave of fear. Then I think I could be one of the greats but how will the world know if I don’t try. So I need to try, it is not an option. I need to get off my ass so to speak and write. I need to quite the voices in my head or ignore them altogether and just go for it. I need to stop thinking and just do. This is my last stand, and I need to make it count. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION….

<a href=””>Must Not Fail</a>