Nightmares and reality

The dream began as it always did with flashes of a past filled with images you only see in a nightmare. Crimson blood smeared on the white pillows, their downy soft feathers falling like rain back onto the bed gently.Their now contrasting colors of white and red stealing their innocence. The night is filled with a deafening silence, the room empty and void of all life save for his breathing, becoming more labored by the minute.
Terror seeped into his pores as he made his way to her side of the bed. Seeing her there so lifeless her eyes now just empty soulless orbs staring into oblivion. Her long blonde usually perfectly coifed locks matted together with blood. The ends still dripping with her life’s elixir.

His eyes traveled down her body where her arms were covered in deep gashes as if someone had taken a knife to a cutting stone. Yet, instead of stone, it was her soft supple flesh, now turned into nothing more than so much meat. The ripped edges already crusting over from the rapidly drying blood. Adam’s breath caught as his eyes caught the blood still oozing out of her chest and abdomen. Her once perfectly rounded breasts now just a ragged gaping mess of flesh flayed down to the bone. Her intestines were spilling out of her stomach and onto her legs the flies had already begun to feast on the grotesque scene before him. It was like some kind of horror movie only the scene was captured right here in his bedroom. He bent down to touch her face the bile beginning to rise even further as white hot tears stung his eyes.

He waited for a heartbeat half expecting her to wake at any moment and say “Gotcha” but he knew she was dead. He bent his forehead to hers and as the tears fell and splashed down upon her lifeless corpse he closed her eyes never to see their blue sparkle again. He stood not knowing what do to. Enraged at who could have taken his beautiful wife away. It was a moment of pure insanity as he began to shake from the sheer terror of it all. Her blood soaked the white plush carpet and yet, he still felt he may get some on him and was freaking out at the thought.

Adam finally looked down at his own body as it shook with a mixture of grief and terror and what he found crumbled him. He stood there over, the love of his life with bloody marks gouges on his hands and wrist as if someone had tried to fight him off. He found blood smeared into his shirt and knew in that instant it was hers. In his other hand still dripping was a knife. A knife that had not just her blood on it but meat and tissue hanging off of it. He threw the knife as it dawned on him he had killed her, he was the monster that had penetrated his inner sanctum and butchered his wife.

With no memory of the incident, he couldn’t figure out why? Why would he have done this? What would possess a seemingly normal man to murder the love of his life? Confused and heartbroken he backed away slowly, hearing a laughter in his head he had never heard before, A person that loved the idea of killing, a person that wanted to kill again, someone that thirsted for her blood and still craved it even after her life had left her.

This was the first time Adam realized he was more than what he thought he was. This was the first time he had met his dark side. He knew anyone was capable of such atrocities it just took a certain kind to be able to go through with it. This was his first kill and in that moment the sudden sense of pleasure that washed over him at the thought of watching the life drain out of his perfect wife he knew it wouldn’t be his last. As he sobered up and did away with the murder weapon and made his wife and all evidence disappear a sort of peace he had never felt before settled over him like a warm blanket.

Ten years later, and he always knew when that certain itch was upon him he always knew when it was time to find his next victim. It always started with the damned dreams. The dreams of her with her pretty blonde hair matted with blood. Her perfectly rounded figure reduced to nothing more than bones and meat. It saddened him and at the same time, it gave him a purpose in a world gone mad. It was a good thing he was good looking all these whores flaunted themselves at him regardless of his off-putting demeanor. There were always plenty of victims flocking to his door. Case in point the woman in his bed at this very moment.

He woke with a start and knew it was time. It was his moment to shine. He looked over at the brunette sleeping so peacefully. He smiled with a glimmer in his eyes. This was way too easy like shooting fish in a barrel easy. He almost felt sorry for her as he raised his knife in the air…


I have  been writing so much about my past that I have neglected to talk about my present and all the wonders it has held for me. Since my first book hit the best-seller list five years ago my life has been filled with book tours, fans and more writing. It is enough to make a girl of only thirty swoon. This is the first vacation I have actually taken since then and what am I doing you guessed it writing. Fame isn’t what I thought it would be I thought “yay now I am rich I can relax”, but no, I had to write one book after another just to stay on that “best seller” list. I am exhausted. It is a never-ending fight to be the one on top all the time. So when my best friend suggested I stay at her house in Maine while she went to the Bahamas for the winter I couldn’t pass it up.

Never having been here I am loving the mountains of snow and the isolation. It is just the thing I needed since I can’t even remember the last time I was alone. I ran into the neighbor this morning and she offered to show me around town later in the week. She even invited me to the local “dive bar” her words not mine. She called it MYSTIC RED. As a writer, I was not only intrigued by the fact that she called it a dive bar but the name Mystic Red. There is a story there and I intend to find out who names their bar Mystic Red.

Is it some sort of sacred name someone’s great, great, great grandfather named it? I feel as a writer I can construct an entire story on the name alone. Is it some sort of mystical name? Is this bar indeed Mystical? I am picturing one of those hole in the walls with license plates on the walls as the room decor. I see the bar itself soaked with stale beer and cheap glasses. The bartender probably some overweight ner do well. His bartending job was a “second chance” after he got early, release on parole for good behavior.

Maybe I am just being a snob here but when someone says “dive bar” as being the sole entertainment in a small town. That is what I picture. Maybe I am wrong, maybe it is a hidden treasure that will exceed all my expectations. I can’t wait to go and mingle with the simple town folk as Marta called them.

I gaze out the window and see that the snow is falling once more. It seems to never stop once winter hits in this tiny town. Peaceful in its blinding whiteness. I get the feeling that something is about to happen. I don’t know what but the writer in me is intrigued at all the possibilities. I am here for another three months I might as well enjoy it while I can. No matter what happens I will have pen and paper at the ready. I can hardly contain myself waiting for Mystic Red…






It is Winter. There is no snow yet the temperature continues to drop day by agonizing day. I can smell it in the wind and it is just a matter of time before the white stuff shows it’s fury.The witching hour is upon me and as I gaze outside I can see the frozen barren land clearly under the full moonlight.

The moon is so full and bright it almost appears as daytime in the wake of the late hour. The infertile trees shadow plays upon the ground taking on a skeletal hue with their inky blackness. Looming across the landscape as if they are trying to escape the bitterness that is Winter.

It is a beautiful sight in its eeriness. I half expect a zombie or a werewolf to come charging across the yard but alas, I know they too (if they were real) would be smart enough to stay out of this cold.

It is late and I am tired yet, the call of this cold night and all its splendor almost has me reaching for the door, almost. I just stare for what seems like an eternity through the window at the beauty I am capturing in my mind for later and how I feel in this moment.

All alone I feel a kinship with those lifeless shadows and for one brief moment, the trees and I are one. I feel their sadness, their pain, their lifelessness. I have been there I have felt sadness, pain, and most of all a lifelessness I can’t explain.

I am touched by those shadows and the eternal light that now shines upon them showing all of their flaws, their imperfections, their brokenness and yet they still stand tall and proud.

I take a snapshot of them in my mind as I silently scream at Winter for she has taken their life and with it all the beauty they once possessed. Yet, they are not ashamed they sprawl across my lawn knowing who they are? What they are? Casting beautiful shadows even in death. They know they will be alive again that the seasons will change and they will once again rise to greatness.

I guess that is the thing we all need to take from these trees. No matter how broken we are during the (Winter) just remember the seasons will change and we will once again be alive and beautiful …



The PANOPLY of severed body parts decorated the trophy case from end to end. Detective Morgan Smith had never seen such a site in all her life. Spending the last ten years climbing the ladder making detective just over three years ago, the youngest female to do so in the precinct she has seen some stuff but this, this was a nightmare.

Taking up one entire wall of the small bungalow. It was by all accounts the most impressive display Morgan had ever seen. Stepping closer to the case she ran her gloved finger over the shelf just above a severed ear pinned to a cork board. Opening the cabinet the bile instantly rose to her throat the second the scent of rotting flesh hit and burned her nostrils. Closing the door and stepping away from the case she coughed slightly getting her gag reflex under control. She barked out orders about dusting for prints and getting everything bagged and tagged for evidence.

As she stepped outside and into the sunshine to get some fresh air. Out of the room of horrors the air no longer stale and stifling. She gulped in large quantities of it as if she were drowning in it. The smell of rotten flesh now signed into her nose she couldn’t  help but wonder of the vile smell would ever dissipate.

Once she had control a white hot rage started to simmer within the pit of her stomach. They now knew who this guy was judging by the id’s left behind. Just because he got away this time didn’t mean she wouldn’t catch him. The atrocities this psycho has committed. She shuttered at the memory of  his “trophies”. That image she knew, would never be able to be erased from her mind. One way or another she would catch this bastard and bring him to justice. Detective Morgan Smith always got her man. This sick predator just became her prey…

Heath watched with a suspicious  eye from across the street as the cops swarmed his house. How the hell they even found him was a mystery. He had been playing cat and mouse with the law for the better part of two decades. Always outsmarting the pigs. Always one step ahead of them. He was proud of his cunning to outwit and outrun them and his fifth-grade teacher said he would never amount to anything. Ha! Look at him now. He watched through the window as they began to fondle his trophies. A white hot rage began to simmer in the pit of his stomach. How dare they touch his hard earned collection!

The monster inside of him began to stir with a vengeance. The need to maim or kill becoming almost overwhelming. Maniacal laughter escaped him as he was whisked back to an earlier memory. Psycho, Crazy, Lunatic. these were the names his very own shrink that he was court ordered to see at the tender age of sixteen called had called him.

He knew from a very young age that he was different. Even by the time he reached the age of twelve he had already collected his first of many collections to come animal pelts. He now found it ironic that the one person that was supposed to fix him had actually helped him progress his wants, his desires, his needs.

She was his very first kill! He could still feel her blonde hair brush his cheek as he choked her from behind. He could still smell her sickening sweet perfume. He could still taste her blood he had slowly licked off his fingers one by one after he had slit her throat just to watch her bleed. It hadn’t mattered she was already dead. Shaking himself out of the past memory he licked his lips as if he could still taste her essence. He looked down to see his now bulging erection. He had never had a problem getting it up all he ever needed to do was think of Laura. Ah, Laura and her blonde hair.

A gleam of light caught his eyes in the dappled sunlight. He looked out the window again to see the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. A pair of diamond earrings glinting in the sun attached to the most splendid display of earlobes he had ever seen. Perfect in shaped not too big not to small they were breathtaking. After drooling over the ears for what seemed like an eternity he finally gazed at the face of a female detective looking like she was trying to breath in the tiny front yard of his sanctuary. With her brunette hair pulled into a high ponytail it was as if she was showing off those decadent lobes just for him. An evil grin spread over his face as he began to plot and plan.

Patting himself on the back once again for his borrowed fingerprints  and his identification of a dead man left in the house he knew this perky cop would be chasing a ghost, forever! He almost felt sorry for her thinking she was closing in on her prey, almost.

Now he could do what he did best disappear and in a few months pop back up where this little minx least expected. This was gonna be way too easy , like taking candy from a baby or her ears off her pretty little head. She would be the first in his new collection. Let the games begin…

<a href=””>Panoply</a&gt;


I have been in love with this song ever since I heard it on the hit tv show NOTORIOUS and then  on the hit show LUCIFER and then it showed up in the hit show SUPERGIRL all in the same week which is great. Here are the lyrics to this song:

Way Down We Go
Father tell me, we get what we deserve
Oh we get what we deserve
And way down we go
Way down we go
Say way down we go
Way down we go
You let your feet run wild
Time has come as we all oh, go down
Yeah but for the fall oh, my
Do you dare to look him right in the eyes?
‘Cause they will run you down, down til the dark
Yes and they will run you down, down til you fall
And they will run you down, down til you go
Yeah so you can’t crawl no more
And way down we go
Way down…
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There is more on youtube but this is the gist of this song. It has become my new favorite song and for some reason whether it be the actual lyrics or the tone of the music itself. Yet for some reason, it is haunting me as well. Do we really get what we deserve?  If so what the hell have I done? I question everything when I hear this song. A plethora of questions arise yet, I listen to it anyway. There is some truth in those lyrics as I know that they will run you down till you fall. Or be on the brink of falling before I continuously keep from falling fully into the abyss that just happened to be my life. “Time has come as we all fall Oh down!” Where are we falling into ourselves, are giving up as we let the demons that plagued is for so long finally win.
   “For the fall oh, my do you dare to look him right in the eyes?” Is this the part where I am supposed to be terrified of the fall as if in a dream if you die in the dream you die in real life. Well I am no longer scared of the fall. Let me fall into the abyss and see where I land.
   I viewed this song as a religious song at first. Yet, the more I listen to it the more I am proud of the fact that despite my past I never fell! I never gave up and I never turned to the dark side to where I needed to crawl. I just picked myself up and kept going. I am made of stronger stock than even I once imagined and no one not even the demons that still haunt me can take that away from me. So way down we may go but it is our rise to the occasion that matters. So bring on your sultry voice and your haunting words. I’m ready to take on this hauntingly beautiful song…


My thoughts are chaotic. A jumble of nerves and stress. As I gaze out at the valley below from my perch cliffside. I watch as the dead planet continues to decompose right before my eyes. I sit here in my favorite summer dress with the purple flowers set into an ecru background hiked to my hips. While my bare feet are buried in the dry red sand. My chestnut hair blowing in the stilted breeze. I pick a wildflower from the only patch of earth that grows anything in this place. I see the sun now setting over the horizon and I can’t help but feel I have never felt closer to GOD than in this moment.

The night will be upon me soon and I will have to go back inside where it is safe. After a millennia of infighting between Earth and Mars, I am all that is left of Mars. Alone on a planet that I didn’t even want to come to when I was just a girl. I am now grown and after my parents were killed in the last war between planets, I am all that is left. Of our attempt to colonize it.

That was four years ago and if I ever ran into another person I would probably die of shock more so than spending the last four years alone on an entire planet. I don’t know how I would even get back to earth. There are abandoned ships here yet, I don’t know how to fly them. Ironic that my only means of escaping this devastating land would be the one thing my father never taught me to do before his passing. I don’t know how many more nights I can go without interaction  between me and another person. I m half crazy as it is, Now all I can think about is the strange man that shows up in my dreams at night.

Maybe he is why I am restless lately and the reason my dreams have turned erotic in nature. I simultaneously dread and anticipate the night to come. As the sun fully descends into the ether and plunges me into darkness, I slowly walk back into the base and  seal the doors. Night has fallen and the only living thing on this planet comes out to play. Creatures of every nightmare I have ever had that would suck the marrow from my bones without a second thought. I am so glad I have the confines of the base to protect me from such creatues yet, the thought of going to bed fills me with such mixed emotions I crank on the tv and watch old reruns of I Love Lucy. I shiver at the thought of the coming dream and the handsome stranger that ravishes me each and every night. I fight to stay awake as sleep tries to claim me. As I finally lose the battle and nod off I can’t help but feel a change in the winds. A sense of foreboding washes over me as the handsome stranger 

 appears and walks slowly toward me….

<a href=””>Chaotic</a&gt;




I run into the corridor gasping for air. Another dead end as the walls appear to be closing in on me. While the smoke thickens to a foggy soup. My white t-shirt now smudged with soot and sweat, is unrecognizable. My once new jeans are now plastered to my legs like a second skin and covered in soot as well.

I step into the alcove to escape the cloying scent of fire, if only for a moment. I lean my head on the metallic walls thinking they will be cool to the touch. As the fire hasn’t reached this area yet. I jump back as the hard steel scorches my forehead. I gaze upon it now with new eyes and I can see it that it is so hot, bubbles are now surfacing as if they are droplets of water running like rats on a sinking ship to freedom.

I take a deep breath in the one spot left of clean air before the smoke takes over and I head into the next hallway. There are no windows, no doors, my only light is the pen light I received for Christmas the year before. Which at the time I thought of as a frivolous purchase. Now, it is my life line!

I turn the corner and the metallic hallway seems to go on forever. The walls appearing alive breathing in and out trying to escape the clutches of the fire. I race down the hall and my heart stutters at the realization that I am at yet, another and final dead end. There are no more hallways to check no more alcoves to breath into. Nothing!

An ash streaked tear rolls down my cheek and I know this is the end of the line. Too afraid to turn around I can feel the edges of the flames licking at the back of my neck. The heat is overwhelming as I drop to my knees now weeping for all the things I never got to do.

I finally turn and see the fire raging towards me as maniacal stranger. I put my arms up to shield my face instinctively as a strangled scream escapes me as I close my eyes. Then…. Nothing!

A piercing alarm sounds and I open my eyes to see I have fallen asleep in class, again!  The bell is ringing signifying the end of class and my strangled scream has awoken me from this nightmare. I grab my things and head out the door as if the room is really on fire. Ignoring all the faces of judgment that are my classmates.

The dream came to me, again! Is it a premonition of things to come? Is it just a dream? Too afraid to sleep anymore I am exhausted from its daring. A chill runs through me. I can still feel the tendrils of the flames caressing my neck as a lover would.

“What is happening to me?”  I silently scream. IU draw up short in front of the hallway mirror as a sliver of fear washes over me. There, there in my reflection is a perfect burn  mark on my forehead where the walls burnt me in my dream. I begin to shake and back away from the mirror. “What is happening to me?” I whisper again. As my head begins to swim The last thing I remember before inky black dots begin dancing in front of me and I start sliding toward the floor, was the little flicker of a flame as it shoots out of my fingertips and into the metallic walls of the school…

<a href=””>Flames</a&gt;