The night calls to me with her alabaster moon. I flit and I fly but my tiny fairy wings can never reach that high.

The man in the moon mocks me with his never-ending smile. I wish I could dance with him as the stars do if only for a little while.

Maybe one day when he dips down into the sea, I can hitch a ride and wait to rise and be who I was meant to be.

To dance and play among the clouds while the rest of the world falls away, I will live among the stars forever and a day.

I can’t wait til it’s just me against the world, forever a fixture in the constellations of life. Screenshot_2017-08-28-20-50-31


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I thought I would share on with you guys what I posted on Facebook earlier. So here goes.




One is the ancient Egyptian pyramids. The other a statue of a Confederate soldier. I am so sick and tired of this controversy over these statues. Don’t people realize these statues too are part of our history, Same as those pyramids. If nothing else they should stay up as a reminder of just how far we have come as humans, and let it go! Besides all, u haters out there guess what u won that war so what difference does it make now? I have a lot of Native American blood in me and u don’t see me still whining about the white man coming and taking my ancestors land and women, do you? The past is the past, besides no one living today was ever a slave and there r so much worse things going on in this world today. Why don’t we focus on that instead of living in the past? If nothing else for our children and our future generations of children who r now growing up in a world full of hate, anger, child molestation, other countries hating us, drug trafficking, people trafficking the list goes on and on. We need to ban together if not for ourselves but for the sake of our kids. We as Americans are allowing our own country to be torn apart and over stupid crap like a flipping statue! Without those statues, most of the country now, wouldn’t even remember how bad our country once was and we need to remember so we don’t repeat those same mistakes! If u r willing to take down a simple statue of a man. Then u need to explain to the ancient Egyptians why their pyramids need to come down. Because I guarantee someone, somewhere is going to get offended by them too for some idiotic reason or another.
Thanks for letting me purge. If u get offended by what I just said Oh well, I am exercising my freedom of speech before that too is called in to question….


The backs of her eylids burned with unshed tears. While she sat in the tub waiting for the heat from the water to rise high enough to seep into her beleaguered bones. She felt broken, in more ways than one. She brought shame to her family once again, as she refused to play by everyone else’s rules! She had a mind of her own and she used it often. Yet, in this moment she was nothing more than a hopless broken woman. Sitting in a lukewarm bath. Naked, and afraid, alone against the world. Exposing her body to the elements, exposing her secrets only she knows, for the first time in her life she was truly afraid of what comes next. 

   With no clear future, no back up plan, she stared into the abyss and realized there is no more hiding the truth, even from herself, anf that is what terrified her! Through all the pain all the sacrifice, all the heartache, she knew in this moment, she was done. She was no longer interested in the beauty the world had to offer. Flowers no longer held that sweet scent she had come to love, food turned to ashes in her mouth, tasteless and dry. The touch of his hands on her naked supple flesh had turned into acid scarring her forever. 

   Now she sits alone. Waiting for the crazy to grab hold, just so she can finally sink into its welcoming embrace. The struggle has been real but now she is tired, she wants, no needs, a reset, a time out, or the inevitabilty that she will lose her mind will have its way with her! She can already see it attempting to snatch her from reality and carrying her gently off on a wave of unknown.

       The tears she had been keeping in check for so long finally began to fall and rolled down her face. For maybe the fifth time in her life she really cried. She watched through blurred vision as the tears made their way down her skin to plink into the water. She heard a keening sound thinking the cat was nearby only to be startled that it was her. She knew her heart was shattered. 

   If only she could have peace on her heart and mind. If she could only find comfort in the cold embrace of death. If only her heart could mend itself, if only. The bathwater now tepid she rises from her pool of tears. Nothing really accomplished, nothing really gained. There are just broken dreams and her shattered heart left floating in the tepid water.


I was scrolling through Facebook today when I came across Leah Remini’s post about her show calling out the cult that is Scientology. She is now in her second season of the tv show and even though I was never in Scientology the show strikes a chord with me on another level. The show is about her spilling the secrets of this particular “religion” and if anyone has read my former blogs they know how I feel about that word. This show has become so much more to me than a mere outing of Scientology and I let her know as much in the comments. I let her know that she has no idea that her reach isn’t just reaching those in a former “cult” so to speak but it has reached me as well. Someone that was raised in an oppressive home, someone that was abused, someone that was given a warped perspective on the whole of what “religion” is. I commended her for being brave enough to speak out, to use her fame for good instead of evil, for giving those a voice that doesn’t have one.

She is one of my favorite actors not because she is crass and opinionated, but because she isn’t afraid to show that side of her. She doesn’t compromise who and what she really is for the sake of a role. She is a real person because she is crass and opinionated, and she isn’t about to let anyone deter her once she sets her mind to something. We need more people in the world like her fighting the good fight. Standing up for what is right, standing up for the little guys that don’t have a voice. Consequences be damned. Today I was reminded that this, this is why I write, and I reminded her that it does only take one voice to be heard and right now she is that voice.

As I was scrolling through the comments and there were a lot of them. Someone had posted that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!” As I have written many a blog on this, I completely agree with this person. Yet today it hit me once again like a ton of bricks. When you speak the truth even if it is a truth you have been keeping from yourself, you feel FREED! There is a freedom in your soul even. When the ring of truth clicks into place it is as if the world has been righted again. A right you didn’t even realize had shifted until you open your mouth and speak the truth. I have been blogging for over two years now and each time I blog about the truth of my past, not only do I find another layer to my psyche restored but I also feel my soul, my very being is a little lighter. Secrets and lies are death to the soul and so as I was once again reminded that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!” I realized today my smile is a little brighter because the truth has in fact set me free.

If you haven’t watched the talented and lovely Leah Remini on her new show about Scientology even if you are not religious it is definitely worth watching as it will raise your awareness to this cult that has deemed itself a “religion”. I guarantee you that even if you are not religious it will speak to you on a very personal, human level. We all need to be aware of the religious demons that try to suck us in, with their false prophets and false Gods. In this day and age, we need to be more vigilant than ever on who our true God is.

For it says in the Bible in Psalms Chapter 4 Verse 2

2. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? How long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.

and in Psalms Chapter 97 Verse 7 says

Confounded be all they that serve graven images, that boast themselves, of idols: worship him, all ye Gods.

We are in the days of many false Prophets, false Gods, false everything. So just be aware of what truly matters.

Also check out my vlog on youtube as well the link for it is below.




you tubing it

     Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my first youtube vlog! I am a writer who is trying to get her stuff out there and so I thought maybe this is just another level of doing that. If the “Beiber” can get discovered on Youtube then I thought why can’t I at least use it to my advantage to be heard, as well. There were several things I wanted to discuss and I will probably go through all of my list, eventually. However, I feel compelled to speak on one thing right now and I even open up my channel for comments and questions below. I, like my taste in music, am not tied to one genre or the other when I write so my vlog will be the same. I have also added a link to my blog below as well so feel free to peruse that as well. If nothing else I know it can give you some really great writing ideas!

Before I dive into what I want to talk about let me tell you a little about myself. I am 40 years old a wife and a mother. I grew up in Arkansas and no need to make jokes (I’ve heard them all) I am a Southern Belle in every sense of the word. Well, what I think of as a Southern Belle. I know, I know when you think of Southern Belle you think of Ball Gowns and high heels, perfectly manicured nails and hair coifed to perfection. mint juleps on a hot summer night and a delicate fan I use to fan myself. But there is another type of Southern Belle and fortunately, I fall into that category. One that would rather play in the mud than wear a dress. One that has more guy friends than girlfriends. One that wears daisy dukes and cowboy boots. And doesn’t give a damn what others think of her. one that would rather drink moonshine and whiskey than any ol mint julep. That is what a southern belle is to me. And I am proud to be one. I grew up in a south that churns out tomboys like water Where cotton fields as far the eye can see is nature’s backdrop and there is always at least one car up on blocks in my tiny town (where everyone knows everyone) that is almost imperceptible due to the unmowed yard. That is what I grew up with. Not to mention I grew up with an abusive mother and step-father that still to this day has never truly seen me. Despite this ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. Ever since I could legibly write my own name a passion was born. I was 5. I voraciously read everything and anything I could get my hands on and by the time I was 13 I was sneaking my mother’s romance books and reading those as well. Needless to say, it was very educational and my vocabulary became quite extensive for a 13-year-old.

I grew up in the Bible belt. I went to church and by the time I was 16 I was a very confused young girl. my mother would go on and on about how everything I did I was going to hell over and yet, she would beat me  I went to a Pentecostal church which was in an old run down strip mall just the other side of the train tracks. Yes, I was a Pentecostal or “holy roller” if you will. People would speak in tongues and then someone else would suddenly have the gift to interpret what was being said. One day someone began speaking in tongues right in the middle of the service that lasted about 15 minutes. When they were done the pastor himself came over to me and laid his hands on my shoulders and said: “That was for you, it was God speaking through her to let you know you are one of his chosen, one of the people he has chosen to spread his word”.  As he smiled down at me I almost laughed in his face. How could I be called to preach by God himself when I didn’t even know if I truly believed in him. Being that I was just trying to survive my hypocrite of a mother. Yet, I had witnessed with my own eyes the speaking in tongues and knew there was a higher power at work. I knew there was a God and yet, I was so confused about religion, God, all of it. Which would I would carry into my adult years if only for a brief time.I would in the next couple of years be exposed to all kinds of religions and I gotta say it helped me form my opinions I still cherish today. 

   I, later on, had some experiences with God himself ones that changed me forever. Letting me know no matter what I believe, he does exist. I grew up being told never question the Bible everything in it is fact, it is the first book in recorded history. It is blasphemous to question God’s word. I was okay with that, for a while. Until I met my very best friend. Who is not only the one person in all of my life that has encouraged me to write but she also opened up my mind to the possibility that while yes the Bible is recorded history, it doesn’t tell the entire story of our past! It hints at things here or there but not the whole of our past is in there. I once again became voracious for answers I read anything and everything I could get my hands on about God, religion, and our past. It is human nature to questions things and there is that one question that looms over us all and the one question I am sure every single one of us has asked ourselves. Where do I come from?

   This is the purpose of my Vlog today. I feel compelled to share with all of you what I have learned and what I know in my heart is true. I am no expert mind you, I am just your average American woman that has had a long relationship with God. One who has just begun to read between the lines of what the Bible actually says and it is mind blowing. You know it is funny I used to be told you can read the same verse in the Bible twenty times and get something different out of it every single time. I never believed it until now. Maybe I have come full circle and the preacher in me has finally emerged or maybe the writer in me feels the need to share. I believe that God gives us all talents (most people that have met me would say I have the gift of gab) but I truly believe my gift is the gift of writing. I have been writing various things over the past couple of years yet, something or someone (point up) has been compelling me to use my talents to write about what I have found, and so I am. I want to thank my friend I believe in my heart of hearts she was placed in my path for this very reason. To get me on the path of what I am supposed to be doing she has no idea that her prompting me to do what I was born to do has released my damaged soul. It has given me a peace I have never known so thank you dear friend of mine.

First, thing I want to discuss is the word religion. It used to be something sacred to me. Yet, as I got older and became more aware of the world I realized that word has been reduced to nothing more than business. You ever notice that. I know what I believe and I know I don’t ever remember reading about a rich religion in the Bible. It has become an organization a crutch to steer us away from the really important things.  I learned long ago, I am not Pentecostal, I am not Catholic, I am not Baptist, I am not a Jehova’s witness. Labeling myself, a religion isn’t what is going to get me to the pearly gates. It is believing in something more than myself, it is being kind to others, it is loving thy neighbor even when they don’t deserve it. I can do all of these things without a label. Religion has become an institution and I am not one to be institutionalized. Conformity is not the key to heaven.

This also ties into the other thing I want to mention. I was raised the Bible is it. It is the word, the only word. I was raised as if God himself had brought down the Bible on a cloud from the heavens and plopped it into someone’s hands and said, “go now copy this for everyone.” I have since learned that this is not the case. The Bible in a funny twist of irony was written by man. It was certain apostles and ‘chosen people to write their story and write accounts of what they saw. It was then another religious faction that put the books of the Bible together and decided amongst themselves what the rest of us should be believing as they left out several books. Not just several by my count there are over 300 books of the Bible that were left out of what we now know as the Bible today. Why would they do that? Knowing how curious humanity is why would they leave out key points of the origins of humanity. I can only think of one reason to conform us all to their way of thinking. Because even when humanity was just peeking out and making their mark on the world “religion” was a business. A business they intended not to lose. There have been wars fought, people killed, blood in the streets, children dying in their mother’s arms, whole cities wiped out, and for what, the sake of their religion, or their business? I can tell you now, God doesn’t care what religion you label yourself. Because in the end, that is not what gets you eternity in his house.

Back to the Bible, I have read it not all of it but enough to know there are in fact pieces missing. The big one being that Angels walked among us. This is where the crack in all I had ever believed in began to show. This is the moment that my viewpoint became slightly skewed and believe me once you fall down this particular rabbit hole there is no going back. So turn away now if you don’t want your world rocked on its axis because once your mind is blown there is no going back. Although the Bible doesn’t go into detail about the Angels too much there are scriptures that allude to the fact that they were here and even laid with mankind to produce offspring called the Nephilim. In the King James Version of the Bible, the word Nephilim is never used however there are scriptured alluding to the fact that they did exist. My favorite scripture in the Bible is in

NUMBERS Chapter 13 verse 32 and 33




These two verses prove these “Giants” were in fact Nephilim. My friend said her mind was blown when she had a discussion with someone about how vengeful God was in the Old Testament. He would send people to cities to wipe them out entirely man, woman, child all of them. At first, she didn’t believe them and being raised as I was said it was blasphemous but then she began to read the Bible with new eyes and realized her friend was right. But why? Why would God be so vengeful as to wipe out children for no reason? Then it clicked to her. These cities weren’t filled with humans, they were filled with the abominations of these angels the product of the Angels laying with humans. Now, I read recently that the scripture above is a metaphor for political “Giants”. What? My God doesn’t care about politics. He cared about the Angels screwing up his creation! And so he began the task of ridding the earth of such atrocities. The scriptures above are just a glimpse into just one of the cities God sent man to destroy and while they were doing recon they realized how huge these creatures were. It goes on to say that they brought back with them Grapes so big several men had to carry them. How can you make that political? It sounds like something straight out of a movie right? I ask you though if these creatures these “giants” were a metaphor for a politcal giant why was their food so large?

Another scripture further proving this theory is In Genisis Chapter six verse 1-4


GENISIS 6: 1-4



The son’s of God lay with the daughter’s of man, and they bare children of them. Wow! How can you not believe in the Nephilim after that?The part where it says the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown. I used to think of the word renown as something great political maybe but the true definition is known or talked about by many people. Famous! So it is safe to say that these “Giants” were talked about. Ones with strength the size of ten men, powerful, almost unkillable. I bet the name “Hercules” is running through your mind right now right! All but reduced to a myth, Hercules was larger than the average man he was super strong and so renown that he is even talked about today. I am not saying that Hercules really existed but what if some form of him did?  If these “Giants” were here which judging by the scriptures I have already read they did. Then the mystery of who really built the pyramids is solved. Right?

I love the show Ancient Aliens. Not because I believe in aliens. but because I believe it touches on part of our history lost to us. If you could just replace the word alien with angels it all comes together like puzzle pieces making the picture a bit clearer. It does frustrate me to no end that the men on there college educated men, totally believe in strange men from another world coming to earth long ago. But the idea that they were actually fallen angels and that they were already here is lost to them. If we look around at our world the ancient civilizations the tombs left behind by our ancient ancestors the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. There are ancient relics ancient monuments that prove we were once not alone. As far as it being aliens I laugh at the concept. Between what they left behind and the little glimpses into the Bible we are allowed to see it is clearly not the case. Mind blown yet?

Join me each week as I discover more about our ancient ancestors and get a little bit closer to answering that ultimate question WHERE DO WE COME FROM?

I would love any feedback and anything you want to  talk about please comment below.  Also feel free to stop by my blog at any time the link is below.