THE TRUTH HURTS

I was scrolling through Facebook today when I came across Leah Remini’s post about her show calling out the cult that is Scientology. She is now in her second season of the tv show and even though I was never in Scientology the show strikes a chord with me on another level. The show is about her spilling the secrets of this particular “religion” and if anyone has read my former blogs they know how I feel about that word. This show has become so much more to me than a mere outing of Scientology and I let her know as much in the comments. I let her know that she has no idea that her reach isn’t just reaching those in a former “cult” so to speak but it has reached me as well. Someone that was raised in an oppressive home, someone that was abused, someone that was given a warped perspective on the whole of what “religion” is. I commended her for being brave enough to speak out, to use her fame for good instead of evil, for giving those a voice that doesn’t have one.

She is one of my favorite actors not because she is crass and opinionated, but because she isn’t afraid to show that side of her. She doesn’t compromise who and what she really is for the sake of a role. She is a real person because she is crass and opinionated, and she isn’t about to let anyone deter her once she sets her mind to something. We need more people in the world like her fighting the good fight. Standing up for what is right, standing up for the little guys that don’t have a voice. Consequences be damned. Today I was reminded that this, this is why I write, and I reminded her that it does only take one voice to be heard and right now she is that voice.

As I was scrolling through the comments and there were a lot of them. Someone had posted that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!” As I have written many a blog on this, I completely agree with this person. Yet today it hit me once again like a ton of bricks. When you speak the truth even if it is a truth you have been keeping from yourself, you feel FREED! There is a freedom in your soul even. When the ring of truth clicks into place it is as if the world has been righted again. A right you didn’t even realize had shifted until you open your mouth and speak the truth. I have been blogging for over two years now and each time I blog about the truth of my past, not only do I find another layer to my psyche restored but I also feel my soul, my very being is a little lighter. Secrets and lies are death to the soul and so as I was once again reminded that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!” I realized today my smile is a little brighter because the truth has in fact set me free.

If you haven’t watched the talented and lovely Leah Remini on her new show about Scientology even if you are not religious it is definitely worth watching as it will raise your awareness to this cult that has deemed itself a “religion”. I guarantee you that even if you are not religious it will speak to you on a very personal, human level. We all need to be aware of the religious demons that try to suck us in, with their false prophets and false Gods. In this day and age, we need to be more vigilant than ever on who our true God is.

For it says in the Bible in Psalms Chapter 4 Verse 2

2. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? How long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.

and in Psalms Chapter 97 Verse 7 says

Confounded be all they that serve graven images, that boast themselves, of idols: worship him, all ye Gods.

We are in the days of many false Prophets, false Gods, false everything. So just be aware of what truly matters.

Also check out my vlog on youtube as well the link for it is below.

 

 

 

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     Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my first youtube vlog! I am a writer who is trying to get her stuff out there and so I thought maybe this is just another level of doing that. If the “Beiber” can get discovered on Youtube then I thought why can’t I at least use it to my advantage to be heard, as well. There were several things I wanted to discuss and I will probably go through all of my list, eventually. However, I feel compelled to speak on one thing right now and I even open up my channel for comments and questions below. I, like my taste in music, am not tied to one genre or the other when I write so my vlog will be the same. I have also added a link to my blog below as well so feel free to peruse that as well. If nothing else I know it can give you some really great writing ideas!

Before I dive into what I want to talk about let me tell you a little about myself. I am 40 years old a wife and a mother. I grew up in Arkansas and no need to make jokes (I’ve heard them all) I am a Southern Belle in every sense of the word. Well, what I think of as a Southern Belle. I know, I know when you think of Southern Belle you think of Ball Gowns and high heels, perfectly manicured nails and hair coifed to perfection. mint juleps on a hot summer night and a delicate fan I use to fan myself. But there is another type of Southern Belle and fortunately, I fall into that category. One that would rather play in the mud than wear a dress. One that has more guy friends than girlfriends. One that wears daisy dukes and cowboy boots. And doesn’t give a damn what others think of her. one that would rather drink moonshine and whiskey than any ol mint julep. That is what a southern belle is to me. And I am proud to be one. I grew up in a south that churns out tomboys like water Where cotton fields as far the eye can see is nature’s backdrop and there is always at least one car up on blocks in my tiny town (where everyone knows everyone) that is almost imperceptible due to the unmowed yard. That is what I grew up with. Not to mention I grew up with an abusive mother and step-father that still to this day has never truly seen me. Despite this ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. Ever since I could legibly write my own name a passion was born. I was 5. I voraciously read everything and anything I could get my hands on and by the time I was 13 I was sneaking my mother’s romance books and reading those as well. Needless to say, it was very educational and my vocabulary became quite extensive for a 13-year-old.

I grew up in the Bible belt. I went to church and by the time I was 16 I was a very confused young girl. my mother would go on and on about how everything I did I was going to hell over and yet, she would beat me  I went to a Pentecostal church which was in an old run down strip mall just the other side of the train tracks. Yes, I was a Pentecostal or “holy roller” if you will. People would speak in tongues and then someone else would suddenly have the gift to interpret what was being said. One day someone began speaking in tongues right in the middle of the service that lasted about 15 minutes. When they were done the pastor himself came over to me and laid his hands on my shoulders and said: “That was for you, it was God speaking through her to let you know you are one of his chosen, one of the people he has chosen to spread his word”.  As he smiled down at me I almost laughed in his face. How could I be called to preach by God himself when I didn’t even know if I truly believed in him. Being that I was just trying to survive my hypocrite of a mother. Yet, I had witnessed with my own eyes the speaking in tongues and knew there was a higher power at work. I knew there was a God and yet, I was so confused about religion, God, all of it. Which would I would carry into my adult years if only for a brief time.I would in the next couple of years be exposed to all kinds of religions and I gotta say it helped me form my opinions I still cherish today. 

   I, later on, had some experiences with God himself ones that changed me forever. Letting me know no matter what I believe, he does exist. I grew up being told never question the Bible everything in it is fact, it is the first book in recorded history. It is blasphemous to question God’s word. I was okay with that, for a while. Until I met my very best friend. Who is not only the one person in all of my life that has encouraged me to write but she also opened up my mind to the possibility that while yes the Bible is recorded history, it doesn’t tell the entire story of our past! It hints at things here or there but not the whole of our past is in there. I once again became voracious for answers I read anything and everything I could get my hands on about God, religion, and our past. It is human nature to questions things and there is that one question that looms over us all and the one question I am sure every single one of us has asked ourselves. Where do I come from?

   This is the purpose of my Vlog today. I feel compelled to share with all of you what I have learned and what I know in my heart is true. I am no expert mind you, I am just your average American woman that has had a long relationship with God. One who has just begun to read between the lines of what the Bible actually says and it is mind blowing. You know it is funny I used to be told you can read the same verse in the Bible twenty times and get something different out of it every single time. I never believed it until now. Maybe I have come full circle and the preacher in me has finally emerged or maybe the writer in me feels the need to share. I believe that God gives us all talents (most people that have met me would say I have the gift of gab) but I truly believe my gift is the gift of writing. I have been writing various things over the past couple of years yet, something or someone (point up) has been compelling me to use my talents to write about what I have found, and so I am. I want to thank my friend I believe in my heart of hearts she was placed in my path for this very reason. To get me on the path of what I am supposed to be doing she has no idea that her prompting me to do what I was born to do has released my damaged soul. It has given me a peace I have never known so thank you dear friend of mine.

First, thing I want to discuss is the word religion. It used to be something sacred to me. Yet, as I got older and became more aware of the world I realized that word has been reduced to nothing more than business. You ever notice that. I know what I believe and I know I don’t ever remember reading about a rich religion in the Bible. It has become an organization a crutch to steer us away from the really important things.  I learned long ago, I am not Pentecostal, I am not Catholic, I am not Baptist, I am not a Jehova’s witness. Labeling myself, a religion isn’t what is going to get me to the pearly gates. It is believing in something more than myself, it is being kind to others, it is loving thy neighbor even when they don’t deserve it. I can do all of these things without a label. Religion has become an institution and I am not one to be institutionalized. Conformity is not the key to heaven.

This also ties into the other thing I want to mention. I was raised the Bible is it. It is the word, the only word. I was raised as if God himself had brought down the Bible on a cloud from the heavens and plopped it into someone’s hands and said, “go now copy this for everyone.” I have since learned that this is not the case. The Bible in a funny twist of irony was written by man. It was certain apostles and ‘chosen people to write their story and write accounts of what they saw. It was then another religious faction that put the books of the Bible together and decided amongst themselves what the rest of us should be believing as they left out several books. Not just several by my count there are over 300 books of the Bible that were left out of what we now know as the Bible today. Why would they do that? Knowing how curious humanity is why would they leave out key points of the origins of humanity. I can only think of one reason to conform us all to their way of thinking. Because even when humanity was just peeking out and making their mark on the world “religion” was a business. A business they intended not to lose. There have been wars fought, people killed, blood in the streets, children dying in their mother’s arms, whole cities wiped out, and for what, the sake of their religion, or their business? I can tell you now, God doesn’t care what religion you label yourself. Because in the end, that is not what gets you eternity in his house.

Back to the Bible, I have read it not all of it but enough to know there are in fact pieces missing. The big one being that Angels walked among us. This is where the crack in all I had ever believed in began to show. This is the moment that my viewpoint became slightly skewed and believe me once you fall down this particular rabbit hole there is no going back. So turn away now if you don’t want your world rocked on its axis because once your mind is blown there is no going back. Although the Bible doesn’t go into detail about the Angels too much there are scriptures that allude to the fact that they were here and even laid with mankind to produce offspring called the Nephilim. In the King James Version of the Bible, the word Nephilim is never used however there are scriptured alluding to the fact that they did exist. My favorite scripture in the Bible is in

NUMBERS Chapter 13 verse 32 and 33

 

32. AND THEY BROUGHT UP AN EVIL REPORT OUT OF THE LAND WHICH THEY HAD SEARCHED UNTO THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL, SAYING, THE LAND, THROUGH WHICH WE HAVE GONE TO SEARCH IT, IS A LAND THAT EATETH UP THE INHABITANTS THEREOF, AND ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WE SAW IN IT ARE MEN OF A GREAT STATURE.

33. AND THERE WE SAW THE GIANTS, THE SONS OF ANAK, WHICH  COME OF THE GIANTS: AND WE WERE IN OUR OWN SIGHT AS GRASSHOPPERS, AND SO WE WERE IN THEIR EYES.

These two verses prove these “Giants” were in fact Nephilim. My friend said her mind was blown when she had a discussion with someone about how vengeful God was in the Old Testament. He would send people to cities to wipe them out entirely man, woman, child all of them. At first, she didn’t believe them and being raised as I was said it was blasphemous but then she began to read the Bible with new eyes and realized her friend was right. But why? Why would God be so vengeful as to wipe out children for no reason? Then it clicked to her. These cities weren’t filled with humans, they were filled with the abominations of these angels the product of the Angels laying with humans. Now, I read recently that the scripture above is a metaphor for political “Giants”. What? My God doesn’t care about politics. He cared about the Angels screwing up his creation! And so he began the task of ridding the earth of such atrocities. The scriptures above are just a glimpse into just one of the cities God sent man to destroy and while they were doing recon they realized how huge these creatures were. It goes on to say that they brought back with them Grapes so big several men had to carry them. How can you make that political? It sounds like something straight out of a movie right? I ask you though if these creatures these “giants” were a metaphor for a politcal giant why was their food so large?

Another scripture further proving this theory is In Genisis Chapter six verse 1-4

 

GENISIS 6: 1-4

  1. AND IT CAME TO PASS, WHEN MEN BEGAN TO MULTIPLY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND DAUGHTERS WERE BORN TO THEM. 
  2.  THAT THE SONS OF GOD SAW THE DAUGHTERS OF MEN THAT THEY WERE FAIR; AND THEY TOOK THEM WIVES OF ALL WHICH THEY CHOSE. 
  3. AND THE LORD SAID, MY SPIRIT SHALL NOT ALWAYS STRIVE WITH MAN. FOR THAT HE ALSO IS FLESH: YET HIS DAYS SHALL BE AN HUNDRED AND TWENTY YEARS.
  4.  THERE WERE GIANTS IN THE EARTH IN THOSE DAYS; AND ALSO AFTER THAT, WHEN THE SONS OF GOD CAME UNTO THE DAUGHTERS OF MEN, AND THEY BARE CHILDREN TO THEM, THE SAME BECAME MIGHTY MEN WHICH WERE OF OLD, MEN OF RENOWN.

 

The son’s of God lay with the daughter’s of man, and they bare children of them. Wow! How can you not believe in the Nephilim after that?The part where it says the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown. I used to think of the word renown as something great political maybe but the true definition is known or talked about by many people. Famous! So it is safe to say that these “Giants” were talked about. Ones with strength the size of ten men, powerful, almost unkillable. I bet the name “Hercules” is running through your mind right now right! All but reduced to a myth, Hercules was larger than the average man he was super strong and so renown that he is even talked about today. I am not saying that Hercules really existed but what if some form of him did?  If these “Giants” were here which judging by the scriptures I have already read they did. Then the mystery of who really built the pyramids is solved. Right?

I love the show Ancient Aliens. Not because I believe in aliens. but because I believe it touches on part of our history lost to us. If you could just replace the word alien with angels it all comes together like puzzle pieces making the picture a bit clearer. It does frustrate me to no end that the men on there college educated men, totally believe in strange men from another world coming to earth long ago. But the idea that they were actually fallen angels and that they were already here is lost to them. If we look around at our world the ancient civilizations the tombs left behind by our ancient ancestors the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. There are ancient relics ancient monuments that prove we were once not alone. As far as it being aliens I laugh at the concept. Between what they left behind and the little glimpses into the Bible we are allowed to see it is clearly not the case. Mind blown yet?

Join me each week as I discover more about our ancient ancestors and get a little bit closer to answering that ultimate question WHERE DO WE COME FROM?

I would love any feedback and anything you want to  talk about please comment below.  Also feel free to stop by my blog at any time the link is below.

 

ANCIENT ALIENS OR ANGELS AMONG US PART 4?

It has been a while since I posted a blog about this subject and there are three other blogs I have done on this very subject. I meant to do one a week but have really been trying to finish a novel and so this particular blog fell to the wayside. There is so much research going into this that it began to take up more and more of my time. However, every single time my friend and I get together whether it be just hanging out or having drinks we always wind up talking about this very subject.

To be honest, she is the one that got me thinking the way my mind as gone Biblically, speaking. It is true once you go down this road and begin seeing the past in a whole new light, it brings everything into question. You begin to question everything, from the angels, to the alignment of the stars even. I was raised Pentecostal and as I left home and began to expand my religious horizons I no longer label myself as “Pentecostal”. I found that God is there no matter what I chose to call myself and so I am no longer a “religion” I am a believer in something more than myself.

I come from a religion that speaks in tounges, a “holy roller” if you will, and I have realized outside of that world that some may actually see that as witchcraft. Unless you have witnessed it for yourself, you cannot know that it is truly the word of God speaking through you. I like my friend didn’t want to be blasphemous when we each began our own journey of spiritual discovery, but the deeper we both went down this particular rabbit hole the more we, realized the ring of truth to it all. I have always had a special relationship with God and I can feel it in my bones the trueness, of what I have found.  I can feel it in my soul, that while I believe in God there is a history from our past that once you begin connecting all the dots it makes for the most interesting patterns. A puzzle that fits perfectly together. I may not have all the answers, but it has gotten me to question so many myths and legends. I will never question the existence of my God but the past always!

I talked about the lost book of Enoch in a previous blog which I thought was the only one, and yet recently I have discovered that there are hundreds. There are even whole chapters taken out of the existing books that make up our Bible today. I wondered, why? Then it hit me. Religion has always been an institution. It has been the one constant thing in our history man has fought over. There have been wars, actual wars, fought for decades even over religion our world history is rife with it,  since the day of the great tower of babble, why? Because, someone, somewhere decided there was only one religion and so the great people of that particular culture. Did away with all the things they weren’t trying to sell us on. They made the Bible the Bible the only thing we should go by, robbing us of our true history in the process.

My friend pointed out that the first time she heard about God being so vengeful in the old testament she thought how wrong is that. Someone was lying to her, the God she knew was a loving God, a patient God, a kind God, then she began to read the parts of the Bible that hint that God was, in fact, a vengeful God. What she discovered blew her mind. She read of God having men go out and destroy villages, towns, giant cities even and the only question was why? Why would he do such a thing, there were women and children there. Why would God give such a horrific order? Then she realized with a few more puzzle pieces that these weren’t ordinary people. They were the product of the sons of God and the daughters of men. They were an abomination. They were creatures that should have never existed. They were the offspring of Angels lying with human women. They were something forbidden by God. Soulless creatures infecting the only creatures God made in his image, humanity.

They had to be destroyed, and so God did what he had to do to protect us from an almost certain hell on earth. People may say this is blasphemy, and yet the Bible has just enough of the truth sprinkled throughout it that you know it’s true. I used to think that the Bible was made up the way it was because God didn’t want us to know our true history. These days I am not so sure, I think that it is just certain religions wanting us to buy into the concept of what they are selling. I as a human a creature of curiosity have discovered I can’t go back to the way I used to think. I have to move forward and get answers. I want to know the details of my past. I want to know that great beasts once trampled the earth and almost mankind. Yet, the more I find, the more questions I have.

Such as the star alignment. I was speaking to my friend a few days ago about it and we both got chills when even more puzzle pieces from the past revealed themselves. Star alignment and the star you were born under has been downplayed to nothing more than witchcraft, or hokum and yet, as my friend pointed out Jesus himself, God’s only son was born under a star. The star of David. It was this star the three wise men followed to find the baby Jesus to bring him gifts and praise him. This very same star plays a significant role in our lives, even today. Hunters are guided by it,  astrologers are awed by it, it has guided so many people lost, back home. It even has me searching for it in the night sky, it is the star we have all come to know as the North Star. It has always pointed North or on  a more sentimental point for us lowly humans, it is home. Even in Genesis Chapter one verse one and two states.

1. IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH.

2. AND THE EARTH WAS WITHOUT FORM, AND VOID, AND DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE DEEP. AND THE SPIRIT OF GOD MOVED UPON THE FACE OF THE WATERS.

3.  AND GOD SAID, LET THERE BE LIGHT: AND THERE WAS LIGHT.

4. GOD SAW THE LIGHT, THAT IT WAS GOOD: AMD GOD DIVIDED THE LIGHT FROM THE DARKNESS.

5. AND GOD CALLED THE LIGHT DAY, AND THE DARKNESS HE CALLED NIGHT. AND THE EVENING AND THE MORNING WERE THE FIRST Day.

6. AND GOD SAID, LET THERE BE A FIRMAMENT, IN THE MIDST OF THE WATERS, AND LET IT DIVIDE THE WATERS FROM THE WATERS.

7. AND GOD MADE THE FIRMAMENT AND DIVIDED THE WATERS WHICH WERE UNDER THE FIRMAMENT FROM THE WATERS WHICH WERE ABOVE THE FIRMAMENT: AND IT WAS SO.

8. AND GOD CALLED THE FIRMAMENT HEAVEN. AND THE EVENING AND THE MORNING WERE THE SECOND DAY.

14. AND GOD SAID, LET THERE BE LIGHTS IN THE FIRMAMENT OF THE HEAVEN TO DIVIDE THE DAY FROM THE NIGHT; AND LET THEM BE FOR SIGNS, AND FOR SEASONS, AND FOR DAYS, AND YEARS.

15. AND LET THEM BE FOR LIGHTS IN THE FIRMAMENT OF THE HEAVENS TO GIVE LIGHT UPON THE EARTH: AND IT WAS SO.

16. AND GOD MADE TWO GREAT LIGHTS; THE GREATER LIGHT TO RULE THE DAY, AND THE LESSER LIGHT TO RULE THE NIGHT: HE MADE THE STARS ALSO.

17. AND GOD SET THEM IN THE FIRMAMENT OF THE HEAVEN TO GIVE LIGHT UPON THE EARTH.

18. AND TO RULE OVER THE DAY AND OVER THE NIGHT, AND TO DIVIDE THE LIGHT FROM THE DARKNESS: AND GOD SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.

19. AND THE EVENING AND THE MORNING WERE THE FOURTH DAY.

This is mind blowing. Once the rose- colored glasses come off and you think about it. It says it in Chapter one. That he created these lights to he says in there he created them for signs, seasons, days and years. So is it too far fetched to think that we were all born special? That even the time of day we were born the stars were aligned for that one moment, that one moment we drew our first breath. I like to think so. This is just one of the many things I have had to change my thinking on the past. A realignment of my mind so to speak. The shift in thinking is a click of the brain, that moment when everything makes sense. I will warn you again though, once your mind goes down this path there is no point of no return. I know I haven’t talked any about the angels vs aliens thing in this blog. But just confirming this one little thing, suggests that there were angels instead of aliens among us. That the rest of our history is buried somewhere in the books of the Bible and I for one cannot wait to unravel the mystery. To piece together the puzzle that is our history, and finally have the answer is it ANCIENT ALIENS OR ANGELS AMONG US?

WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW!

As a writer, I have always been told the rule of thumb is always WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW?

Here’s what I know, the mind is a fragile, delicate thing. It can break under the slightest of incidents or take on a lifetime of misery before the first cracks begin to show. However, there are those rare occurrences where the mind just simply bends for a while like a rubber band that eventually snaps back into place, the scars still there a reminder that it didn’t break. I have always wondered why? Why is the mind so much stronger in some than in others. In some, it simply takes being yelled at in the supermarket to come back later and shoot it up, or one person cutting you off on the highway to go on a road rage rampage and wind up killing several people. In others, a lifetime can go by of being bullied in grade school, made fun of in high school just for being different, and later maybe a bad relationship just adds to the trauma of your childhood abuse and neglect. It is much later in life when they finally snap and do something horrible or they do nothing at all and chalk it up to “that’s life!” It also amazes me how much the mind can remember. You can remember and recite every book you ever read but for the life of you, you can’t remember the harm you have caused others. The scars are there in plain sight but you have no recollection of the incident.  Is this some kind of joke or is there some sort of underlying trauma of your own going on here? Yes, the mind is a fragile delicate thing. It can break with one disparaging remark or spend a lifetime locked in its own personal hell! It is up to us to fight the mind and lead with our hearts full of love and acceptance.

 

Here’s what I know, There, is good in the world! Often times when I was younger I thought that there was nothing left in this world that would ever bring me joy and yet, as I have gotten older I realize there, is good everywhere. Even if it something as simple as letting someone go in front of you in the grocery line.  Or something more serious as babies being born there is always a parent out there searching and waiting for a bundle of joy to call their own. Or loving and accepting someone for who and what they are. We were all made different that is what makes us special.  I watched an older movie the other day for about the 3rd time and it moved me to tears yet again. It showed the best of humanity when someone unselfishly changed someone else’s life just because it was the “Christian” thing to do. In a world gone mad with chaos and mayhem, I still believe as long as there are movies being made that show human kindness we are not lost. Some may have lost their way but there is still hope for us yet. So let us pay it forward, let us teach our kids the best humanity has to offer and condone kindness in our hearts and lives. For there is kindness in the world.

 

Here is what I know, take time for yourself. I am a typical American woman. I get up get the kids off to school, get myself to my job where I have to work to pay bills and put food on the table even if I hate the job, then I come home cook clean and spend what little time I have left with those kids, oh, let me not forget the husband in all of this. By the time I sit down and have five whole minutes to myself I realize I am exhausted! I am too tired to do anything, let alone anything I want to do such as writing, crocheting, or even bathing on some occasions.  Movies, forget about it! Usually, a really good movie I haven’t seen comes on when I am busy cooking or cleaning and I miss half of it. The only tv time I get anymore is after everyone has gone to bed and it is late. Even then I can’t stay up too late because I have to get up early and do the day all over again! The weekends is where I shine though, I don’t answer the phone most of the time. I unwind from my humdrum life and do what makes me happy. Whether it is getting lost in the fantasy world I am creating in my novel or just simply reading about someone else’s fantasy world. It is all about me. For at least one day. You know the saying stop and smell the roses. Well, it is so true. Stop and enjoy the beauty of that rose, let the scent wash over you and just be in the moment with yourself. Your addled mind will thank you for it later.

Here is what I know, Be the exception! I am my own worst enemy. I am my own worst critic. Yet, I push myself to be better than I was yesterday, I am sure it stems from being told all of my youth that I would never amount to anything. My will and stubbornness to prove them wrong have gotten me where I am today. I am constantly trying to outdo myself. As if I am in some sort of competition with me. I also know that I am the exception when it comes to love, life, and happiness. Based on my childhood I never thought I would be happy, hell I never thought I would make it out of it alive. Yet, here I am! I was born in the 70’s and a preemie to boot. I am told I was never even supposed to survive my birth, and yet here I am! I never thought I would find love and happiness,  after the trauma I went through with my first real relationship but I am happy to report that I have been happily married now for almost two decades, and get this I am happy! I am the exception to where I should be in life. If I had let the past eat away at my mind it would have broken me and I would have never been able to overcome and see for myself that I am the exception. I am worthy of love, and happiness. Be the one someone can’t live without. Be the one that becomes irreplaceable at your job.  Be the trendsetter, the one others strive to be. You know the saying a rose is just a rose. There is no rules or laws that say it can’t be an exceptional rose.  Remember you are the exception, not the rule. Rules are meant to be broken anyway right?

Here is what I know, God exists! I was raised Pentecostal or a “holy roller” if you will. I was raised that everything was a sin, even sometimes the very air I breathed was wrong according to my mother. Being raised the way I was I was so confused I became afraid to do anything, afraid that I would be going to hell and never get to see those streets of gold but then wondered if God existed at all how did I get the parents I had. Where was he when I was being beaten for looking at my mother the wrong way or simply being in the room at all. Why wasn’t he there to protect me? It didn’t dawn on me for many years that he was there. Every time I didn’t die, or my mind didn’t collapse in on itself he was there to protect me from the worst of it all. Even my birth, he was there watching as I was miraculously born into a world full of violence and terror. He watched as the doctors sat back in awe as I began to breathe on my own. I am sure if they didn’t believe, some of them did after that day. I have had so many close calls with death it is ridiculous, and yet here I am. I know it was to tell others that there is a God! I have felt his loving arms wrap around me when I was at my darkest and have even felt him wipe my tears away. Yes, he is something our tiny minds cannot see or touch but that is where faith comes in. Faith that when we are at our worst he feels our pain. When we are broken he will help mend us. When we are scarred he will kiss those scars and ease our pain. After leaving home I was exposed to so many other religions and the realization hit that they all believe in a higher power. Some sort of entity that will save their souls and lead them into an eternal afterlife. It made me breathe easier knowing this. For those that don’t believe trust me, he believes in you!

 

This is what I know! It is not everything I know, but this is enough for now.

A VOICE THROUGH TIME

VOICE

WRITE A NEW POST IN RESPONSE TO TODAY’S ONE – WORD PROMPT.

I just want to say before I begin today’s post I cannot stand THE VOICE! On the other hand, my very manly husband love’s it, though. I is just a repeat of the very same thing year after year, just different players in this particular game. That is why after about 4 seasons I couldn’t watch AMERICAN IDOL anymore.

I couldn’t think of anything else so I am just going to make a top 10 list of people throughout history that had a voice and used it well. Not a singing voice but a voice that resonates throughout history! Even today! And a quote from each…

  1. Abraham Lincoln-NEARLY ALL MEN CAN STAND ADVERSITY, BUT IF YOU WANT TO TEST A MAN’S CHARACTER, GIVE HIM POWER.
  2. Martin Luther king Jr- I HAVE DECIDED TO STICK WITH LOVE. HATE IS TOO GREAT A BURDEN TO BEAR.
  3. John F Kennedy- AS WE EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE, WE MUST NEVER FORGET THAT THE HIGHEST APPRECIATION IS NOT TO UTTER WORDS, BUT TO LIVE BY THEM
  4. Joan of Arc- ONE LIFE IS ALL WE HAVE AND WE LIVE IT AS WE BELIEVE IN LIVING IT. BUT TO SACRIFICE WHAT YOU ARE AND TO LIVE WITHOUT BELIEF, THAT IS A FATE MORE TERRIBLE THAN DYING.
  5. Winston Churchill- SUCCESS IS NOT FINAL, FAILURE IS NOT FATAL: IT IS THE COURAGE THAT COUNTS.
  6. Mother Teresa- I HAVE FOUND THE PARADOX, THAT IF YOU LOVE UNTIL IT HURTS, THERE CAN BE NO MORE HURT, ONLY MORE LOVE.
  7. Nelson Mandela- EDUCATION IS THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON WHICH YOU CAN USE TO CHANGE THE WORLD. 
  8. Amelia Earhart- THE MOST DIFFICULT THING IS THE DECISION TO ACT, THE REST IS MERELY TENACITY. THE FEARS ARE PAPER TIGERS. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU DECIDE TO DO. YOU CAN ACT TO CHANGE AND CONTROL YOUR LIFE; AND THE PROCEDURE, THE PROCESS IS ITS OWN REWARD.
  9. Moses- SEE, I HAVE SET BEFORE YOU THIS DAY LIFE IS GOOD, DEATH AND EVIL… I HAVE SET BEFORE YOU LIFE AND DEATH, BLESSING AND A CURSE THEREFORE CHOOSE LIFE.
  10. Last but not least and should always be number one JESUS-FOR GOD SO LOVE THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON, THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE….

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/voice/”>Voice</a&gt;

MONSTERS AND GHOSTS

My young son said to me this morning while we were waiting in my car for the bus “Mommy there is no such thing as Monsters, but Ghosts are real.”

Caught off guard by this out of the blue statement I said, “Your right Monsters aren’t real but why do you think Ghosts are?” He looked me right in the eyes and reminded me of a time right after the “Branson incident” which is another blog called “AFRAID OF THE DARK”. That in fact, he remembered one incident with his toys! They were going off bells, whistles, even the music playing even after I had taken all the batteries out! It was in the middle of the night and he kept telling someone he didn’t want to play right now. He needed to sleep. This incident convinced me that something or someone had followed us from the whole Branson thing. I am still to this day convinced they were there to protect my son. It felt like the same fearful presence I felt in Branson. (A mother’s fear for her child).

Today I didn’t know what to say to him to comfort him. It is over 6 years later and for him to describe in detail things I have forgotten it must have been traumatic for him. I did the only thing I could possibly do in this moment. I hugged him, gave him a kiss on the cheek, told him I loved him and put his 9-year-old butt on the bus.

I got back to the house and his words just kept running through my mind. “Monsters aren’t real but Ghosts are” It just kept repeating over and over in my head in his serious tone until I knew the only thing I could do was write about it!

First of all, he is my innocent boy and I don’t have the heart to shatter that innocence with the fact that monsters are very real! We see them on television all the time. Now I’m not talking about the fictional characters you see on movies or tv shows like Dracula, or the Boogeyman. I am talking about the news where yet another man was gunned down in the streets simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or the mother that killed her baby just because it was crying too loud. Or, devastation, one country reeks on the other. Just because of their religion.

As an American Citizen, I guess I don’t get this last one at all because I grew up in a land that was founded by people running from religious persecution. They  wanted to blaze their own trail and have the freedom to believe what they want. And so it goes some 250 years later we still have the freedom any the right to believe what we want, worship as we please and yet we are still persecuted for it.

Now even in our own country! When did we forget how this country began, when did we forget our true reasons our ancestors , fought for our freedom. Where we came from?

There is so much fighting in the world that I cannot even think of showing my son the news! There are so many monsters in it now that I lay awake at night terrified for my children. What future do they have if everyone is so hell bent on killing one another! I can only pray there is a special place in hell reserved for those people. So please protect your kids and our future.

As for Ghosts, I know they are real too. I have had way too many paranormal experience in my life not to believe in them. This one scripture from the Bible always makes me think of our souls lingering long after we have turned to dust. It is in Revelations about the end of days. If you haven’t read Revelations it is still to this day the scariest book I have ever read. It is what the end of days will be for all of us. No one will escape “JUDGEMENT DAY”!

That one scripture says “THE DEAD WILL RISE FROM THE GRAVE” Which means to me that there are souls that haven’t moved on their souls waiting, their judgement and maybe sometimes we can either see then or feel their presence. This is my belief and I don’t judge others because their beliefs are different! I embrace their differences!

I feel it is God’s way of letting me have an open heart and mind. In the end, it all comes down to no matter what religion you are we all believe in something more than ourselves. Whether his name is God, Alpha, Jehovah, or whatever there is still one being we believe in. His origins may be varied. It is still a higher power than anything we mere mortals can fathom.

I have faith in my God that he will one day end these wars, end our suffering, shut these monsters down for good and finally let the ghosts rest. We will finally be at peace. Until then let’s try and make the most out of the life he gave us.

Get those monsters out from under or beds. Stop running from ghosts of other’s and our own. Take a stand with words instead of guns! They are way more powerful and just love one another until there are no more monsters, no more ghosts just us and our future!                                                             Our Children!