As a writer, I have always been told the rule of thumb is always WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW?
Here’s what I know, the mind is a fragile, delicate thing. It can break under the slightest of incidents or take on a lifetime of misery before the first cracks begin to show. However, there are those rare occurrences where the mind just simply bends for a while like a rubber band that eventually snaps back into place, the scars still there a reminder that it didn’t break. I have always wondered why? Why is the mind so much stronger in some than in others. In some, it simply takes being yelled at in the supermarket to come back later and shoot it up, or one person cutting you off on the highway to go on a road rage rampage and wind up killing several people. In others, a lifetime can go by of being bullied in grade school, made fun of in high school just for being different, and later maybe a bad relationship just adds to the trauma of your childhood abuse and neglect. It is much later in life when they finally snap and do something horrible or they do nothing at all and chalk it up to “that’s life!” It also amazes me how much the mind can remember. You can remember and recite every book you ever read but for the life of you, you can’t remember the harm you have caused others. The scars are there in plain sight but you have no recollection of the incident. Is this some kind of joke or is there some sort of underlying trauma of your own going on here? Yes, the mind is a fragile delicate thing. It can break with one disparaging remark or spend a lifetime locked in its own personal hell! It is up to us to fight the mind and lead with our hearts full of love and acceptance.
Here’s what I know, There, is good in the world! Often times when I was younger I thought that there was nothing left in this world that would ever bring me joy and yet, as I have gotten older I realize there, is good everywhere. Even if it something as simple as letting someone go in front of you in the grocery line. Or something more serious as babies being born there is always a parent out there searching and waiting for a bundle of joy to call their own. Or loving and accepting someone for who and what they are. We were all made different that is what makes us special. I watched an older movie the other day for about the 3rd time and it moved me to tears yet again. It showed the best of humanity when someone unselfishly changed someone else’s life just because it was the “Christian” thing to do. In a world gone mad with chaos and mayhem, I still believe as long as there are movies being made that show human kindness we are not lost. Some may have lost their way but there is still hope for us yet. So let us pay it forward, let us teach our kids the best humanity has to offer and condone kindness in our hearts and lives. For there is kindness in the world.
Here is what I know, take time for yourself. I am a typical American woman. I get up get the kids off to school, get myself to my job where I have to work to pay bills and put food on the table even if I hate the job, then I come home cook clean and spend what little time I have left with those kids, oh, let me not forget the husband in all of this. By the time I sit down and have five whole minutes to myself I realize I am exhausted! I am too tired to do anything, let alone anything I want to do such as writing, crocheting, or even bathing on some occasions. Movies, forget about it! Usually, a really good movie I haven’t seen comes on when I am busy cooking or cleaning and I miss half of it. The only tv time I get anymore is after everyone has gone to bed and it is late. Even then I can’t stay up too late because I have to get up early and do the day all over again! The weekends is where I shine though, I don’t answer the phone most of the time. I unwind from my humdrum life and do what makes me happy. Whether it is getting lost in the fantasy world I am creating in my novel or just simply reading about someone else’s fantasy world. It is all about me. For at least one day. You know the saying stop and smell the roses. Well, it is so true. Stop and enjoy the beauty of that rose, let the scent wash over you and just be in the moment with yourself. Your addled mind will thank you for it later.
Here is what I know, Be the exception! I am my own worst enemy. I am my own worst critic. Yet, I push myself to be better than I was yesterday, I am sure it stems from being told all of my youth that I would never amount to anything. My will and stubbornness to prove them wrong have gotten me where I am today. I am constantly trying to outdo myself. As if I am in some sort of competition with me. I also know that I am the exception when it comes to love, life, and happiness. Based on my childhood I never thought I would be happy, hell I never thought I would make it out of it alive. Yet, here I am! I was born in the 70’s and a preemie to boot. I am told I was never even supposed to survive my birth, and yet here I am! I never thought I would find love and happiness, after the trauma I went through with my first real relationship but I am happy to report that I have been happily married now for almost two decades, and get this I am happy! I am the exception to where I should be in life. If I had let the past eat away at my mind it would have broken me and I would have never been able to overcome and see for myself that I am the exception. I am worthy of love, and happiness. Be the one someone can’t live without. Be the one that becomes irreplaceable at your job. Be the trendsetter, the one others strive to be. You know the saying a rose is just a rose. There is no rules or laws that say it can’t be an exceptional rose. Remember you are the exception, not the rule. Rules are meant to be broken anyway right?
Here is what I know, God exists! I was raised Pentecostal or a “holy roller” if you will. I was raised that everything was a sin, even sometimes the very air I breathed was wrong according to my mother. Being raised the way I was I was so confused I became afraid to do anything, afraid that I would be going to hell and never get to see those streets of gold but then wondered if God existed at all how did I get the parents I had. Where was he when I was being beaten for looking at my mother the wrong way or simply being in the room at all. Why wasn’t he there to protect me? It didn’t dawn on me for many years that he was there. Every time I didn’t die, or my mind didn’t collapse in on itself he was there to protect me from the worst of it all. Even my birth, he was there watching as I was miraculously born into a world full of violence and terror. He watched as the doctors sat back in awe as I began to breathe on my own. I am sure if they didn’t believe, some of them did after that day. I have had so many close calls with death it is ridiculous, and yet here I am. I know it was to tell others that there is a God! I have felt his loving arms wrap around me when I was at my darkest and have even felt him wipe my tears away. Yes, he is something our tiny minds cannot see or touch but that is where faith comes in. Faith that when we are at our worst he feels our pain. When we are broken he will help mend us. When we are scarred he will kiss those scars and ease our pain. After leaving home I was exposed to so many other religions and the realization hit that they all believe in a higher power. Some sort of entity that will save their souls and lead them into an eternal afterlife. It made me breathe easier knowing this. For those that don’t believe trust me, he believes in you!
This is what I know! It is not everything I know, but this is enough for now.