Terror sets in as my memories have begun to fade to black.
Fade into nothingness or like the discoloring of wallpaper in an aged home.
I can feel them slipping out one by one. As if the earth’s gravitational pull is slowly yanking them out.
It started out unperceivable to me. A thief in the night stealing those memories I wouldn’t miss. Such as, what I had for dinner yesterday!
Now though as I get older these memories are fading more swiftly capturing more notable memories like the day I met my first love. Or the scent of my husband the day he proposed.
I know to most, the scent of your love doesn’t matter, yet, is it an omen of things to come. More memories lost.
The love I carry deep in my soul for my children. The way my husband gazes at me as if I am the only thing in this crazy world that matters.
The way I feel when I see a sunset. Or the lightness I feel dancing under a full moon on a hot summer night.
When will these memories fade? When will I be nothing more than an empty shell of the person I once was.
Our memories are what keeps us going. Keep us human. Without that! What will I become? I can already see the empty holes of memories lost now cluttering my mind. How long before the swiss cheese of my mind becomes just empty space?
How long before the sunsets turn gray because I can no longer remember their color?
How long before the love I spout to my husband and children turn to ashes in my mouth?
How long before I look in the mirror and see only a stranger staring back at me?
I hold on tight to the memories I have left. I keep them locked away in my secret vault. Terrified of the day those memories too, begin to fade…