WRITE A POST IN RESPONSE TO TODAY’S ONE – WORD PROMPT.
I am twisted up in knots! A cold sweat beads down my face! I am exhausted, this NIGHTMARE I have is draining me dry! This nightmare called life!
I sit here day after excruciating day watching, waiting for something to change! Anything I am 17 and I know that I will never find anything better! Walking on eggshells around mama as not to piss her off and incur her wrath. I chose to close in on myself, retreat to a world of fantasy and hot sex in the many, many books I read!
I go to school and I sit in English class thinking if I wasn’t here would anyone even notice! The black sheep of school I want to run away never to return! Yet I know that is an impossibility because my mom… she would find me, and when she did…
Eighteen and graduation are looming on the horizon and all I can think of is getting out, getting away! I want to be free to do as I please I want to find myself! Not who others think I should be! I have live in this NIGHTMARE for so long now. I don’t even know who I am or who I am supposed to me anymore!
I can’t see the world for what it is! I can no longer see the future! It looks bleak and every day every day is a Nightmare! I am trapped in my mind alone with my thoughts and my demons that have become relentless in their torture!
I graduate and I go to live with my dad in Boston! Amazing I have never been to any city like it! I feel sense, of freedom I have never felt in all my now 18 years! Yet, the nightmare has not left me, As I will soon find out this nightmare is now a part of me! I will carry it with me for the next few years and the choices I make do not help! In fac,t the demons that now reside in my daily nightmare rejoice in the earth-shattering choices I am about to make!
Here I sit many years later writing this “daily post” and the demons are quiet! The NIGHTMARE I once had that followed me everywhere is gone! my soul peaceful and I can look back on this nightmare and laugh! It tried to break me, it tried to tear me apart mentally! Yet, here I sit whole for the first time in my life! Not shattered into a million pieces! I am loved and I love! The nightmare did win for a while but I was stronger than it was! I finally know who I am and what I am supposed to do, feel, and be! I may not have won the little battles of this nightmare but I have defiantly won the war!
I took me a long time to realize the nightmare was in me a part of me sucking the life out of me like a leech! Once I saw that I had the power to expel it… Nothing is impossible now! Now it’s just peace and quiet I am alone in m mind and it feels great! Best of all no more nightmare! Never let anyone break your mind! It is a nightmare unto itself…