My mind is a circus, a jumble of thoughts making me antsy to the point I can barely keep it together. Here I am on the brink of disaster. My pulse races as I climb the ladder. Looking back at the crowd below thinking how did I ever get talked into this. I feel like I am going to vomit or pee myself or both! I take another step now shaking like a leaf. What was I thinking, trying and failing to put on a brave face I feel as if I may die at any moment. I get to the top and the young lady there is smiling at me as if to say “everything will be alright”. I think to myself “Lying bitch”.

I know she can see I have turned 3 shades of green and as she helps me into the harness I know this will be my last day on earth. I double, and triple check the safety on the buckles and she says, ” on the count of three okay”. I can feel the bile rise and now my heart and mind are racing as I hear “3”. The crowd below has gathered looking like bugs now  and I just know they are going to witness something awful as I plummet to my death. “2” is sounded off and a roar begins to gather in my ears. “1” is carried to me on the breeze just as I feel a release and go flying through the air.

My eyes already shut tight are forced open by the wind flying into me and what I see, what I see is utterly awesome. I am soaring through the air like a bird and for the first time in my life, I feel as if I am truly free. There is nothing but this moment, this moment in time when I am flying through the air relying on nothing but a rip cord to keep me in the air while gravity is working hard to send me where I belong, down! I finally begin to slow and I realize my ride is almost over. They reel me in and my mood darkens as my feet once again touch ground! I am suddenly sad and can’t for the life of me remember why I was terrified of the rip cord.

“We are slow if you want to go again”, the lady says, again with a big smile on her face. My mood instantly brightens again and I know now never pass up a free chance to do something that can be so freeing. All is forgiven for her earlier atrocities and I regret calling her a bitch even know she doesn’t know I called her that in my head. She once again straps me in and I am ready to take flight once again as I realize the circus in my head has stopped. There is nothing but the feel of the wind in my hair and the smile on my face as I hear “1” and release…


<a href=””>Circus</a&gt;



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s