M husband’s horoscope today said,”IS JOY A SUSTAINABLE EMOTION? IT’S ARGUABLE, AND YET, WHO WILL WASTE TIME IN DEBATE? ONLY A FOOL WOULD SPEND PRECIOUS ENERGY ON ANYTHING OTHER THAN JOY WHEN JOY IS THERE FOR THE TAKING”.
I never really thought about this until recently! I thought this would be a great blog, though! I never think of joy as being a sustainable emotion. Probably because I never had much of it in my life growing up. You get stuck in a pattern that is full of anger and sadness that you never think “Will I find joy again” if it was ever there to begin with!
I know I am not a fool but there has been precious time and energy wasted trying to find my joy when it seemed a far off unattainable goal! Even now when I should feel nothing but joy, I sometimes get those odd feelings creeping back in. I mean I have a great husband, my kids are happy and healthy and I am alive to see another day! What’s not to be joyous about!
However, that damaged girl from my childhood still screams to be heard every now and again! Most days I can avoid her but others she will not be ignored! She is the part of me that is still broken and sad. She reminds me that life was not always peaches and cream. How can I quiet this demon when the demon is me!
On the days I do find joy, I find it is in the little things like window shopping with my hubby on a lazy Saturday or hanging with my bestie round a fire on a cool summer night. I think from my early days of not having those little things that make me smile I appreciate them more. Maybe that’s just called low maintenance I don’t know or maybe I do hold on to those little moments for all they are worth and I take it to heart when I can’t do those things.
Either way, I have learned to find joy where I can get it and I am still a work in progress! If there is joy, for the taking I am grabbing onto it with both hands…