I have been reading the “BIRTHMOTHER SERIES” done by “HILLARY JONES”. She has captured pictures and the stories of “BIRTH MOTHERS” around the country. It just proves to me that the silence and the stigma surrounding the birth mother has got to be broken.
I know everyone looks at the child and says oh poor thing you were adopted, but no one ever hears the birth monther’s side of things and the circumstances surrounding her decision. Most times yes, they are for selfish reasons. However, there are those instances when the birth mother gave her child up for adoption for totally unselfish reasons the love of her child.
No one ever learns her story they just assume the worst. No one ever hears about the struggles she has gone through for so long afterward just trying to make sense of herself and the decisions she made. As a birth mother myself, I had the same struggles. I went on a whirlwind of drinking and crying for about a year and a half after that day. I cried enough for a lifetime during those dark days.
I had received pictures and one day looking at her beautiful face it finally got through to my drunken mind that I needed to accept what I had done for my little girl. I didn’t give her up so she could have a better life, at my tender age of 19 to just throw my life away. I know she wouldn’t want that for me. With a renewed vigor looking at my pretty girl. I once again was startled at my own strength and started picking up the pieces of my shattered life.
I realize as I am writing this that, that was another time my daughter has saved my life. She has saved my life more times than I can count, and she doesn’t even know it.
I received pictures or a letter every three months. Every time I saw her beautiful face I knew I had to strive to be better than I was, so I could be someone she could be proud of.
Reading some of the stories from the other birth mom’s is a little heartbreaking some of them didn’t even get pictures of their child. I honestly do not know what I would have done, or where I would be without those pictures. I t is heartbreaking to have someone promise those pictures and then not deliver.
All of those women had one thing in common though other than being a birth mom, they all had a fear of not being able to reconnect with their child later on in life. I gotta say that, is my biggest fear as well.
My daughter and I are now speaking and texting back and forth, but every single day I worry that the answers I am providing will prove too much for her and she will decide it is too hard for her and stops speaking to me. She is now nineteen and that would be devastating to me since I have already watched her grow up to this point. Yes, it is through pictures, but it is better than nothing at all. It has brought me a sort of comfort over the years seeing her well cared for and loved.
I want to reiterate to you that the birth mother’s side of the story is never heard. With your help and awareness, that can change.
If you haven’t gone to Hillary’s site yet please do so and read these amazingly brave women’s stories…….
UNTIL NEXT TIME…………