Who’s Annoying Who?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Middle Seat.”                                                                                                                                                                                                     It turns out that your neighbor on the plane/ bus/ train     ( or the person sitting at the next table from you at the coffee shop) is a very, very chatty tourist. Do you try to switch seats, go for a non- committal brief small talk, or make this person your new best friend?                                                                                                                                                    I got to looking at this prompt and was like what? Since I am rarely in these situations I didn’t think I could think of anything, however as I sat and thought about other situations such as being in that long ass line at the grocery store when there is only one checker and there are other employees just milling about, or the doctor’s office I am the first to show up yet everyone around me gets called back first. I started to think about scenario’s I have been in where you accidentally make eye contact and they think  it gives them carte blanche, to go ahead and tell you their life story. What they are buying, or what diseases they have in alphabetical order.                                                                                                                                                                                                  Now when I was younger I was severely shy and timid. ( As I established in an earlier blog post ). It was so bad I was rendered speechless just from being asked a question in class, even if I knew the answer. My whole mannerisms where different I avoided eye contact like the plague. I never raised my head up to just look around, in fear of eye contact. Looking back now I think it was a defense mechanism, so no one could see my deepest darkest secrets. ( The eyes are the windows to the soul, or so they say). Back then I would have ignored them to the death of me. No way was I engaging in suck things as talking!                                                                                                                 Now however as most people annoy me, I can’t wait to make eye contact with that guy at the grocery line that looks like he skipped work at the biker rally to buy booze at nine o’clock in the morning, or that nine month pregnant lady in the waiting room that still thought she could pull off a belly shirt! With her three other little ones terrorizing the other waiting room patients Ugh! I shiver at the thought.  I am annoyed with most people,  I didn’t go to College and have some fancy degree, but I do have Common Sense. Most people I run into these days do not, not even a little bit. That annoys the hell out of me if you are dumber than me, with no higher, education especially if you do? That is so annoyyyyiiiinnnggg! I have learned to turn the table on  those people and just be as obnoxious and annoying as they are. I will steer the topic toward me and talk about myself relentlessly. Usually I will pick a topic people are embarrassed to speak of in public or I will ask them questions relentlessly. They will most times pretend they are getting a phone call, or try some other subtle way to extricate themselves from the conversation  and I get to walk away with a smile on my face.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Maybe that will teach them, the next time they try to start an inappropriate conversation with a perfect stranger or they will avoid eye contact all together. Maybe not!  Either way I have come out of it unscathed and dumb ass free!


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